Tuesday, April 7, 2009


One of the crazy things about being gay is that it is difficult to define the relationship in terms of "length". Straight couples can say things like "we dated for X number of years", or "we lived together for x number of years", or" we have been married for x number of years".
When you are lesbian and people ask you how long you have been together there is always a moment of hesitation while you try to think ... OK does that mean from the date we FIRST went on a date? the day we first Kissed? The day the U-haul came? The day we got a joint account? The day one of us decided we were monogamous (because I think that's different dates for each person - JUST KIDDING SHEL!)
Shel and I have three "anniversaries" which is nice because if you forget one you can always make it up on the next one, or if you remember all three then you have three extra celebrations in a year!
The first date, April 6th, is the anniversary of our relationship. We have been together for 12 years as of yesterday. Neither of us ever remember how many years we have been together and so every year I have to google the Ellen DeGeneres episode when she came out on the Ellen show because we were together then. (Just googled, and it was April 30 1997).
After we had been together for a few years we had a commitment ceremony which would be our second anniversary. That one is on June 21, and I THINK it was in 2001? THEN when we came to Canada we were LEGALLY married and that date is November 19 2004.
I have made these cross stitch wedding things for my brother and his wife, my sister and her husband and my one good friend (BTW I also messed up on the date on hers because she was married a day before -or after us - and a few years later) however, I haven't ever made one for Shel and I because hey - what date do I put on it? I think it might be funny to do one with all three dates, then maybe we would remember.
Happy anniversary to us for yesterday anyway :)


Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary!

Teena in Toronto said...

Happy anniversary!

I'd say your anniversary is that of your first date. Isn't that what most common-law couple consider theirs?

Anonymous said...

Ok, you don't know me from a hole in the ground, but you should TOTALLY do the multiple-date cross stitch!

Happy anniversary!

Rana and Yvan said...

Happy Anniversary!!! It doesn't matter what date you celebrate - just celebrate the love that keeps you together :)

Cami said...

I agree with blotupright.....you should do ALL three dates!! I am glad you two are together and still happy!