Monday, May 31, 2010

meme: day seven

A photo that makes me happy:

Photos of my kids make me VERY happy. I love my family to death. My baby is just 2 months away from turning two and this is a picture from when he arrived with us. I can't believe how little he was. My little humpback whale.

meme: day six

Whatever tickles my fancy....

Here is a photo of my baby sister in our truck - tinkey winkey.
Tinkey has been in the family since 1995 and we love her to death. This winter she broke down and we did not get her fixed until the spring. When we finally did get her fixed my oldest boy was so excited he could barely stand himself.
He calls her "winkey" which is confusing for some people - he tells everyone he's "going a winkey" - I guess I can understand why they are confused.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

meme:day five

I love quotations and for a long time in my life I have collected different quotes.
Here is one I found this year which brings a smile to my face and has a good message!

"If your face is swollen from the severe beatings of life, smile, and pretend to be a fat man." Nigerian proverb

Friday, May 28, 2010

meme: day four

Today I must share with you my favorite book. I apparently have issues with "favorites"! I have too many. I like different books for different reasons and I like a LOT of books. I have been reading for as long as I can remember and when I wasn't old enough to read I was being read to.

Growing up I used to sit on a stool in the kitchen at my grandparents house. My grandmother would make me bushtea and toast with marmite on it and we would listen every day to the radio where someone was reading "The Secret Garden". I love this book and the memories it brings back to me.

I have a collection of books by Enid Blyton. I have a collection of books by Wilbur Smith that at one time belonged to my dad.

I love Orson Scott Card and the Alvin Maker series and the Ender's Series.

I love "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "The Power of One", "A Tree Grow's in Brooklyn", "The Poisonwood Bible", "Middlesex" and "The Birth House".

And how about Children's books?

It would be impossible for me to limit my favorite books to just one. In fact, I think I may even start my own list of top 100 books and see if I can limit it to 100.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

meme: day three

Here is a short list of some of my favorite shows. I have a favorite show depending on what night of the week and even what season (there are different shows in the summer than in the winter) but here are a few I have limited myself to.

1. I love cooking shows of all kinds. I enjoy watching top chef but even more than top chef I enjoy Top Chef Masters. In another life I would love to be a chef.

2. The Good Wife. I just watched the season finale and I can't wait for next season to begin. The cast is great, the story lines are interesting. Two thumbs up for The Good Wife!

3. House.
I want to be House - minus the addiction to pain killers!

4. Grey's Anatomy.
Besides the fact that Callie is HOT.... this is another show I triple love. Did I mention Callie was HOT?


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

meme: Day two

So today the question is what is my favorite movie. I have to admit although I am a huge fan of movies I tend to watch a movie once and then never watch it again. I started out the other day by posting one favorite movie and since then I have been back three times to add movies to the list. I am terrible about trying to limit my options!
1. Water.
If you haven't seen this movie you should!

2. Crash (from 2004).

The thing I love about this movie is the way the characters are shown as "real" people - people with flaws, people with inner conflict, people with more than one side to their personalities. When we left the theater after seeing this movie we talked about it for DAYS. I love movies that give me something to think about, and I love Sandra Bullock!

3. Set it Off.
When I was in college and in the early days of being in a relationship with my current spouse, I used the privileges of my employment to go into the movie theater with my then "date" and watch a rented movie on the big screen. I love watching movies on the big screen. The movie we watched was Set it Off and it was the first time I had seen it. The theme in the movie about friendship, specifically friendships between women, was something that resonated with me. My reaction to the movie was quite..... severe (?) I guess you would say. I cried hysterically. Looking back on the moment makes me laugh - I am not a "crier" at the best of times and here I was in this VERY new relationship, on a date, "ugly" crying. Oh how funny. The fact that my date didn't run away screaming let me know very early on that she was a keeper!

4. Bound.

I think I would lose my lesbian card if I listed movies and didn't list one with a lesbian theme. This is not easy to do because there are precious few good lesbian films out there - in my humble opinion. Bound is worth a watch... I won't lie, I'll watch it again!

5. Slumdog Millionaire.

Do I need to say anything about this choice?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

meme: day one

This is an incredibly difficult question to answer, I absolutely LOVE music and to pick just one favorite song is impossible.

Here is just one song that I love... by the Indigo Girls - Least Complicated.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't stick with just one song. So here is another song I love. Beth Hart sings L.A. Song. I am not from L.A. but my spouse is. There's just something about the combination of her voice, the lyrics (she drank so hard the bottle ached) and the emotions this song evokes in me that make me just LOVE it.

And who can NOT love Total Eclipse of the Heart? I sang this song at Karaoke at the women's bonspiel and won! I Have great memories of singing this song with my siblings and having a total ball. Oh Songs are fun....

Journey...Separate Ways.
We had a foster child. (One of many) I loved him more than my luggage. Basically LOTS of stupid stuff happened with this placement. At one point we thought we were adopting him but it didn't happen. When we travelled in the van I would sing this song to him. "You know I still love you, though we touched and went our separate ways"... He LOVED singing along to the song and I loved singing to him.

30 day meme

I thought I would try out something to jumpstart my blogging again. Nothing like a meme to get me going.... Here is the latest one making the rounds. I will start tomorrow!

Day 01 — Your favorite song
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Friday, May 14, 2010


We registered the boy for under 4 soccer this summer. The weather was lousy the first day of the season so there was no practise on that day.

The second day we went we found his team and got his shirt (which he refused to put on) and he clung to my side. I went out onto the field with him and stood by him as the kids were going through their little routines but he refused to participate at all. We knew this was probably going to be how he dealt with it because new situations freak him out. We debate constantly whether or not to even sign him up for things like this because we have no idea if we are traumatising him by making him go or traumatising him by not signing him up?

Anyway - he loves anything sport related so we figured we would give this a try. When we left the pitch after the first practise Shel said she thought it might be too much for him. We hope that now he is speaking more he will tell us, but it is SOOO hard with a kid with sensory integration issues - does he even understand it enough to tell us if it is too much for him?
On the other hand it takes SOOO long for him to warm up to something do we just go once and then decide to quit? I know when we started him into the early intervention program this year I was ready to pull him out after a month of craziness but that program has done wonders for him.
SOOOO........ we decided to go to soccer again.
Attempt numero deux....

Well he DID touch the ball and even leave my side but he would not go near the other kids. He took his ball and played on the back side of the goal, but he was happy as a lark so we just let him go for it.

And then he was done.
And then he and his brother found the bridge from nowhere to nowhere and thought it was the greatest thing EV-ER and they played on the bridge longer than he played soccer! Oh well. The fact that he and brother are playing together so well is such a joy to watch. So the bridge it was.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Thursday Thirteen: April Snapshot

1. Photo of me:
This is how projects in our house are completed.... with lots of help from interested and helpful little hands. I hung a new baby gate at the bottom of the stairs with enough clearance for our fat cats to squeeze under. What I didn't realize at the time was that enough clearance for our fat cats made enough clearance for everyone other than the two adults and great dane puppy!

2. Current candle scents: I really need to change this "snapshot" because although I enjoy candles I have to admit I have had two new candles in the past 12 months. So instead of current candle scent.... so I will instead give a snapshot of....

2. Something I accomplished this month from my list of things to do that I am most happy about: I framed a photo of some art my boy did in school. It is hanging in the kitchen.

3. What I am currently reading: Hunting Fear by Kay Hooper

4. What is my favorite book read this month: Without a doubt, The Birth House by Ami McKay.

5. Movie I saw: The Blindside. I saw a few movies this month and didn't like any of them except for The Blindside.

6. Something yummy I made this month: I didn't make anything yummy this month, but I put together our new BBQ!

7. The last place I ate out: This is another selection I need to edit. Since moving to our small community we have about two places we eat out - if at all - and one place we used to frequent we do so less now that we have a son allergic to soy. Literally my answer to this question would not vary all year. So I am going to snapshot instead:

7. Something fun we did together as a family this month: This month we got a puppy. We have had a lot of fun getting a crate ready, playing with the puppy and the crate and getting to know our newest family member. He is a great fit.

8. Something that made me cry: Not this month!

9. Something that made me laugh: My oldest son is cracking me up. he has a wicked sense of humor and a sense of style all his own. Here is a clip of something that made me laugh this month:

10. Something I looked forward to this month: Getting my taxes done.

11. Something I am thankful for: I am thankful for my sons who are growing up to be wonderful people.

12. Something I want to remember about this month: I learned a lesson this month about fear. I have now been "out" for about 13 years. Through the coming out process some people that I was close to, for whatever reason, chose to exclude me from their lives. As a result of this I isolated myself from other people who I considered to be friends with because I feared that they would no longer want to be associated with me also. This month I reconnected with one of the people that I had "lost touch" with and - like I do - I feared her reaction once she knew I was homosexual. She surprised me, she was warm and receptive and excited to hear what I was up to. I realized how much I have come to allow fear to govern my actions and I made a decision to try and let go of the fear. It hasn't proven to do much for me that is positive! It was a good lesson to learn and I hope I can "go with it"!

13. A photo I took this month: We got a new addition to our family. A great dane puppy named "hugo" it was a departure for us in the naming of our pet, because we typically give all our dogs names in Shona (language from Zimbabwe) but Hugo was already named and M could say the name so we kept it. He is an AWESOME dog.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

If I had a hammer

On my list of things to do is to sit down and sort through all the tools. We have moved twice since arriving here and the tools are spread everywhere. I want everything in one place, cleaned and in working order. I was outside with the boys and decided while I was sitting there I could start by going through one of the tool caddy's. I brought it up from the basement and took it out to the swing to sort through it. Lo and behold there was a hammer in it and M took an immediate shine to it. We have purchased all kinds of "toy" tools for him in his short life but he is not attracted to anything unless it is the "real" deal. I figured he might as well use the hammer since I was sitting right there supervising and we have a wooden "table" constructed of pallets that he could pound nails into. Well the boy has died and gone to heaven. He LOVES the hammer. Last night he was outside hammering again and I called him to come in and eat. He told me that supper was yuck and that he wanted to hammer. He knows what he likes!

breathing treatments

Both of the boys are on the nebulizer AGAIN. Thankfully they are much much better at it and will even hold it themselves. M was desperate for a treatment on Sunday but he was absolutely NOT going to go inside to sit and do it, so we brought it onto the porch where I was putting together the new BBQ and let him sit in the chair and do it there by me. He was fantastic about it and even managed to keep his cool glasses on! He wears these all the time now, mostly propped on the top of his head!

12 of 12: May

Each month Chad Darnell hosts 12 of 12. The idea is to take 12 pictures of your day and post them on your blog and then check out what everyone else has posted from around the world through links found on Chad's blog. I love it and I look forward to it each month. You can link to Chad HERE.

1. 11:00pm

Another overnight bag. I am staying in town tonight because I have to work early tomorrow morning. Can't wait until I am no longer carrying this bag back and forth.

2. 10:00pm

Downloading my flip. I love my flip.

3. 7:00pm

I have long been fascinated with bees and beehives. I now work at a college where beekeeping used to be a course that was offered (before my time) and people would literally come from around the globe to be instructed in the art of beekeeping. There are a few apiaries still around here and they put out hives in the spring. These hives are particularly close to the road I drive on to work each day.

4. 7:00 pm

5. 7:00 pm
6. 6:00 pm

There is some major construction happening on the highway between our house and town. There have been back hoes working on replacing drainage pipes under the road for about 2 weeks now. There are probably about 6 or 7 back hoes we pass on the way into town. My son is OBSESSED. We count them and talk about what color each one is and what they are doing - EVERY time we pass one!

7. 6:00

The work appears to be complete and the backhoes are pulling out. There were only two on the road - much to the chagrin of my boy.

8. 5:45

9. 5:30

The boys came to get me at work for a minute to show me something they had found. I was trying to get a picture of c-notes shoes and as I was crouching he was copying me! He cracks me up.

10. 5:25 pm

M found an outlet. What a shock.

11. 4:00

Time for registration AGAIN. I need to get this over and done with already. Darn Thesis.

12. 11:00am

Some kids in the field to the south of my office. Must be springtime!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

baby steps

Did you ever hear the story of Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do Hai Kai Pom Pom Nikki No Meeno Dom Barako?

It's one I read as a child and have always remembered. The story is about a boy in China who falls into a well. I don't remember the story at all other than the name of the boy. I even googled it to make sure there WAS such a story and it was not just a figment of my imagination.

According to my research on the internet this afternoon the the story does exist and the point of the story is as follows:"If a mother loves her son very very VERY much... she shouldn't give him a long name like "Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do Hai Kai Pom Pom Nikki No Meeno Dom Barako" ...which is SURE to get him stuck in a well because it takes so long to say it. INSTEAD, she should give him a very SHORT name... like "Tikki"... that you can say very quickly."

The reason I have been thinking of this story recently is because the adoption of our boys is supposedly happening in the next 3 months. We have to decide what names we will adopt them as and we have long debated names. It's a good thing we had more than nine months to do this or we would have been in a real pickle! We both have names in our families which we would like the boys to carry. I seriously doubt we will be having more children, even though we would like to. So we have to get all the names from both our families onto these two unfortunate souls. There are names in our families like Willis and Percival and we simply have not been able to agree on what we should do. Our choices were further complicated by the fact that the children arrived with names and we don't really want to change the names they were given already, but we don't want to saddle them with 27 names.

What if they have ADD? Will they fail kindergarten because they have to write names out that go on for days? I remember Lady Diana at her wedding to Prince Charles messing up all his names. How embarrassing.

To add more confusion to the whole name mess my partner and I have both kept our maiden names. So what name do we give to the boys as a surname? In an attempt to put some of the confusion to rest (Drum roll please) This week we legally changed our names and we now have a blended last name.

It's true.

We have become hyphenated lesbians. I feel a little like Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do Hai Kai Pom Pom Nikki No Meeno Dom Barako.

So now that the saga of the last name is resolved we have to decide what we will do for first names for the boys. Poor kids are saddled with a mouthful of a last name so we are going to have to be creative on their first names. Maybe Wil and Per.

My new favorite song!

I have a new favorite song...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

"I didnt think you had males in your house..."

Now it could have been me and I may have completely misunderstood the context of what was being said....
In a conversation with a friend the comment was made "I didn't think you had males in your house."
Yeah I get it we are a lesbian couple but hello, we have not one but TWO sons. One of them if almost 4?
I am confused. The word "lesbian" is not a synonym for "man hater" people!

Monday, May 3, 2010

kids in the bed

Last night both of the boys were restless. We usually have a pretty good bedtime routine down, but last night it went the way of the wind. Max has completely transitioned to a toddler bed but this means he can get out at will - which he does frequently. We started out with both boys in their beds. Max was coughing and coughing and he coughed until he woke himself. We didn't want him to wake CJ so we brought him into our room. Coming into our room is a SUPER treat and he would not just relax and lay down between us so I got him Shel's Nintendo DS and set him up "playing" Fifa soccer. He played and was happy for a while. When he settled down his cough seemed to settle and so I put him back into his bed.
His talking is SO improved and one of the things he does every morning when he wakes up is call to us from his bed "Mom, I'm awake!" Last night right after I put him into his bed he calls out to us, "Mom, I'm awake!" Shel calls back to him "Just close your eyes and think about what you are going to do tomorrow...." She went on this long explanation of things for him to think about and I could hear him moving around in his bed. After a minute of talking to him she turns to me and says "He isn't listening to me." We both had a chuckle and not a second later he calls out "Mom, I'm awake!" Shel and I were both exhausted but we had to laugh. He did manage to fall asleep and then CJ was up.
Shel went and picked him up and brought him to our room for his turn. He tossed and turned and fussed the way that only two year olds can. He was in between us on the bed and he was everywhere. At some point I must have dozed off and I couldn't feel him between us anymore - and I hadn't heard a thump so he didn't fall off the end of the bed and in my sleepy stupor I figured he had fallen to sleep and Shel had taken him and put him back to bed. The next thing I know Shel is tapping me and tapping me. I rolled over to see what she wanted and she was laying with her back to me so I thought perhaps she was just dreaming so I lay back down. She tapped and tapped again so I rolled over to check again and noticed that CJ was still in the bed and he was laying right across her head. She was completely trapped underneath him and couldn't move for fear of waking him up. I picked him up and we put him back in his bed but I had to laugh again. I had looked right at Shel not once, but twice and did not notice his little body draped over her head! I was still chuckling about it this morning and mentioned it to Shel... she had completely forgotten!
Oh the joys of parenthood. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.