Sunday, July 12, 2015

July :12 of 12

Today is the 12 of the month, so here are 12 photos of my day as it unfolded. 

1) It is summer, so what else do we do but ride bikes? Obviously the 6 acres on which we live is not enough, we must load the bikes and ride elsewhere. 


2) Safety first. 


3) While the kids rode (for the first part of the day) I went and worked on my paper. This is the view from the office I was in and I'm fairly certain they turn off the a/c on the weekends cause it's CRAZY hot in there. 


4) SAVE YOUR WORK. 


5) I worked for a few hours then went to meet the family at the splash park. Who did I meet but Winnie the Pooh?! 


6) Forget the splash park - they found puddles!!!! 






9) You know it's hot when a) momma hasn't showered and is in a ball cap b) zed steals momma a water c) mom can't see what photo she is taking cause the Suns in her eyes d) all of the above. 


10) sometimes mom breaks out the tools to fix bikes .


11) sometimes we fix them ourselves . 


12) it's always a good end to the day when a friend makes sure I've seen this sexy shot of the hottest woman alive right now. 



That's my day in photos people's! 


Friday, July 10, 2015

July 10 - gratitude

1) I'm grateful today is Friday and this week is over. Normally I work on the weekends but not this month, so hopefully I wil get lots accomplished around the house and yard! 
2) I'm grateful that it's raining right now and I hope it rains through the night. The farmers need it, the firefighters need it, and frankly, I like rain. 
3) I'm grateful for the birth of my friends baby girl, and that they will be home soon. I've missed them lots and can't wait to see my new minion!. 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

July 9 - Gratitude

1) We took the big boys to the skate park tonight to ride their bikes. We were only there three minutes when they collided and broke the front wheel of one bike. I managed to fix it and they rode for two hours. They had lots of fun and I'm grateful they had a good end to this day. 
2) I didn't work out today, I had to be in another town for training. I'm grateful I had a break cause I'm feeling worn out and depressed I'm not seeing changes. 
3) I'm grateful for my mom, who called tonight just to check on me. 

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

July 8 - gratitude

1) today I'm grateful to live in Canada where there are doctors and hospitals to look after the people I care about when they are in need. 
2) I'm grateful that I can turn on a tap in my house and get clean water to drink, bathe in, and wash clothes and dishes. 
3) I'm grateful that this day is over and I can go to bed. 

Six week frustration

I've been working out for six weeks at a bootcamp which I attend daily from Monday to Friday. 
Today was a huge frustration for me. I don't feel like a single thing has changed since I began working out. My clothing fits the same. I weigh the same. I still can't do burpees or anything that requires me to jump. I am the slowest when we so lunges for warmup. I've reduced drastically the amount of Pop I'm drinking - I haven't had any for days and days and I used to drink up to five cans per day. I've almost completely stopped eating any kind of junk food - I was bad on the nights last month when I was working at the group home because Pop and chocolate bars are easy to take to work when i am not able to stop and cook anything, but in not picking up shifts anymore and so my eating is better on a daily basis. 
I've been keeping a daily log of the food I eat and I honestly don't think I am eating as poorly as I was 6 weeks ago. 
I feel tired , I know I'm not getting enough  sleep and of course I am bloated and blech today. 
I know I need to stay motivated and keep on going but today I am just tired and feel like there have been no results at all and I want to take a break. It sucks to work so hard and feel like nothing has changed. 

July 7 Gratitude

It's technically "tomorrow" but I'm not sleeping yet so here is my list of things I am grateful for today for my month of wellness. I haven't "aligned with my purpose" yet today but I'm having some difficulty with that one and may need some more direction from my the program on how to incorporate that daily. 
ANYWAY - here are my three gratitude things for today 
1)  I'm  grateful for email so that I can still communicate with people I am far away from and missing lots. 
2)I'm grateful that my 7 year old cuddled up in my lap tonight and pretended to be my baby all over again - he even let me sing to him without telling me to stop! 
3) I'm grateful for my mom who called and sang happy birthday to my guy. He grinned from ear to ear. 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

The dentist killed my gratitude

This should really be easy for me. I think of people all over the world and the hardships they face and I know in my head that it SHOULD be a whole lot easier for me to find things to be grateful for than I am finding it today. 
I had to go to the dentist and I avoid the dentist like the plague. I won't bore you with the details of my mouth - but I have never (and it was reinforced AGAIN today) had a good experience with a dentist. 
I decided about a year ago I was done. I know my teeth are in bad shape, I literally give myself cavities when I brush them. I have had more root canals than I have teeth, I have had more than one root canal per tooth in my head. I basically decided that I was done with dentists, and when I had a tooth broken enough or abcessed enough I would  just pay to get it pulled. Getting teeth pulled is WAY cheaper than root canals and crowns. (I have actually ground my teeth hard enough to shatter two porcelain crowns.)
Last year I just started having teeth pulled. I had the absolute HACK of a dentist in my town actually pull the wrong tooth, even though I TOLD HIM he was pulling the wrong tooth. He insisted he knew what he was doing and that HE was the professional and pulled the tooth I told him not to. I was back within 48 hours to get the tooth that was causing me agony removed. My dentist luck is so bad that I even get the wrong teeth pulled.
I also have never had the freezing of my mouth properly "take" and I feel everything and have to ask for more freezing EVERY TIME I go in. I make sure to tell the dentist this and they always insist they know and insist I am frozen but I ALWAYS feel it and they have to freeze me more.
I went to a new dentist today because three of my front teeth are getting cavities  and I just cannot justify pulling my front teeth. I only went in out of sheer desperation. 
It is a new dentist and I told them over the phone about u dentist history and woes AND I told them in person about my history and woes AND I told the dentist in the chair that I was extremely anxious and that the freezing never took. 
He was reassuring, he said he understood and would be sure to give me extra and shock of all shocks - he didn't freeze me enough and I was in agony before the first 10 seconds had passed. 
He stopped, froze me more, and proceeded to fix ONE of the teeth broken in my head, but my 1.5 hours in the chair was absolutely brutal. 
My neck and back and shoulders are completely seized. My jaw hurts, my cheek and gums where he gave me needles are bleeding and developing sores. I have such a bad headache I want to throw up - but j pray I don't throw up because it hurts to open my mouth even a tiny bit. 
Then I had to pay. That hurt almost as much as sitting in the chair. 
So right now, through this haze of pain, I'm finding it extremely difficult to find anything at all to be thankful for. I need to find some really good painkillers and try again in a few hours after I'm oblivious.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Supper conversation

 I weighed myself on the scale and I attended a meeting about my retirement plan (more appropriately my plan to work till I die). I was talking about these things at the supper table and Max said "why do you need to work till you are 99?  Because you need new clothes?" 


Wellness program - gratitude

I'm one week into a month long wellness program through my cousins online program. The program has multiple components after you choose which program you are doing ( good, better, or best). I've chosen "better" and some of the things I'm working on for the month include: not weighing myself, drinking more water, reducing the amount of light I expose myself to before bed, performing an act of service weekly, having a regular sleep schedule, and keeping a gratitude journal. In the gratitude journal I'm supposed to write down three things daily that I am grateful for. I actually have a specific journal for this purpose but I can't find it. I have been very conscious that I find three things each day to be grateful for but I need to write them down and be a little more responsible in terms of concretely meeting my goals. Lucky for me I have a blog! Here are the three things I am grateful for today: 
1) I stopped at Dairy Queen today to get an ice cream cake for my son who will be seven tomorrow. I am grateful that I found an orange one AND I am grateful I could just "stop in and grab a cake" - I know my parents didn't have the financial ability to do that when I was seven. 
2) I got a text AND a phone call today from someone I wasn't expecting to hear from. It was awesome. 
3) My four year old whispered in my ear today "Mom, I love you. When can you buy me a unicorn?" I felt loved.  

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Bad ideas

Initially when I said I would pick up shifts every weekend at a group home I thought it was a great idea. I would make some extra money, and I would avoid awkward moments at home when my mother in law was here for an extended stay. 
Well the extended stay ended early, and I am somewhere in the middle of a shift in the middle of what I calculated yesterday to be 28 or 29 days of consecutive work for me without a break.
I'm exhausted. I could fall asleep on my feet - if I were on my feet. Instead I am sitting down which is worse. 
Epic fail in decision making - with the end FAR off. https://youtu.be/K3F5rpzo1s4