Last week I had the opportunity to attend a wine and cheese function. I say "had the opportunity to attend" when really I was needed there. Working in an educational setting there are all kinds of rules about the serving of alchohol - where it can be served, when it can be served, who can attend and who has to be there to make the serving "legal". I am the person who has to attend to make the serving "legal" under provincial law.
There was this function for sponsors of an event on campus and they needed someone there to "supervise". Enter moi. They asked me to be there and gave me an official invitation. In the true spirit of the event I wore a skirt and shaved my legs.
I am not a drinker of wine, and really, I couldn't drink anyway because of the capacity in which I was attending the event, but I LOVE cheese. So I figured it was a pretty sweet deal, me and cheese. Well, what a complete disappointment. Again, I have never attented a wine and cheese function so I don't have anything to judge it by, but I expected cheese. All different kinds of it, sizes and shapes and textures and teeny tiny little sticks that you aren't supposed to use for toothpicks but I end up doing anyway. There was none of it. I don't want to mislead you and say there was NO cheese, but there was two plates, one of fruit and one of sausage and a miniscule amount of cheddar chunks. I'm not crapping on cheddar here. I like cheddar, but people, I SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THIS EVENT. At the VERY least they could have provided some Havarti.
You might think that's all I have to say on the topic, but you are mistaken. Sausage. I don't think its a good idea to serve sausage at a wine and cheese function, especially great big HUGE chucks of sausage as thick and as long as my thumb. Now I'm all for sausage, but when you are meeting and greeting corporate sponsors, there isn't really a gracious way to eat large hunks of meat, and if you do manage to get it down, and someone comes in for the hug or two cheek kiss, there's nothing like garlic breath to enhance the embrace. Someone needs to inform the people who make these trays of food, and who also have apparently never been to a wine and cheese social, that sausage is ok, just make it smaller, and please, please, please use little toothpick things. A bowl of mints in the middle of the tray isn't a bad idea either.