I am fascinated by the words we use. I know. I am a bit of a geek. I simply find it interesting that words and their meanings change over time. I also find it interesting how we manipulate the meanings of words.
I have been thinking of this again recently as news reports about the shooting at Fort Hood have been coming out on various websites and news stations. The most recent report that I read, on the BBC, reported from a statement from the FBI that Major Hasan "was not involved in terrorist activities or terrorist planning."
It simply does not make any sense to me how the meaning of the word "terrorism" and "terrorist" have changed so much over the past few years. As far as I am concerned, the acts of Major Hasan were acts of terror. He created terror, a violent act intended to cause fear. Whether it was his intent when he set out to shoot people that he would cause terror or not, (how could it not have been, but I have no way of knowing what he was thinking) his act was an act of terrorism, regardless of whether the FBI believe it to be or not.
This week is remembrance day. A day set aside to reflect on those people who have given their lives for our freedom, both here and abroad. I don't pretend for one minute to have insight into the pain that of those who have lost loved ones or who have suffered themselves as they have been exposed to conflicts while representing their countries and defending freedom.
I am grateful beyond words. My gratitude will not change, no matter what words come to mean in the passage of time. I simply hope that the way we use and change the meaning of our words will not bring more pain to those who live through the terror. I hope their pain is not marginalized by our manipulation of language, and because the "FBI" said so.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I AM NOT A MAN!
I don't really understand why people have to categorize lesbian couples and having a "male" and a "female" component in the relationship. If there is anyone out there who can explain WHY there is a need to categorize us in this way can you call me please and let me know?
If I wanted to be a man... I suppose I would have started the process LONG ago to change my gender and I would be trying to "pass" as a man. I'm not. I haven't. I won't.
I don't want to be a man. I don't want a penis. I have NEVER wanted a penis...but I do think it is cool to be able to write your name in the snow with urine.
We took the boys to kindermusic. Shel has been taking both boys every week and it is a bit too difficult to handle both of the boys and do all of the kindermusic-ey "THINGs" that have to be done. She asked me if it were possible for me to join her. Last week I was able to leave work a little early and help her out. As I walked in the door the lady who runs the session said.. "Oh look! DAD has joined us!"
I have been told a lot of things. I've been told I'm too young to be so fat. I've been told I have too many double chins and my face wont fit in the passport picture frame. These things are annoying, but nothing tops the frustration of being called a dude. Let me just say - I have nothing against men, simply that I am not one!
If I wanted to be a man... I suppose I would have started the process LONG ago to change my gender and I would be trying to "pass" as a man. I'm not. I haven't. I won't.
I don't want to be a man. I don't want a penis. I have NEVER wanted a penis...but I do think it is cool to be able to write your name in the snow with urine.
We took the boys to kindermusic. Shel has been taking both boys every week and it is a bit too difficult to handle both of the boys and do all of the kindermusic-ey "THINGs" that have to be done. She asked me if it were possible for me to join her. Last week I was able to leave work a little early and help her out. As I walked in the door the lady who runs the session said.. "Oh look! DAD has joined us!"
I have been told a lot of things. I've been told I'm too young to be so fat. I've been told I have too many double chins and my face wont fit in the passport picture frame. These things are annoying, but nothing tops the frustration of being called a dude. Let me just say - I have nothing against men, simply that I am not one!
words
It's after 9pm and we are hanging in the living room with two kids who are overtired. We don't have this bedtime ritual worked out yet since we moved the baby out of our bedroom. We figured it was due since he was 15 months old and had been in our room since birth, but I think we are getting LESS sleep since moving him out of the room. I love these boys more than I knew was possible, but parenting does not come easily to me.
Max is balancing books and Cj is clapping and saying "yay" every time Max makes a successful pile.
Max's words are coming with a fury now it seems. The speech therapist said to only expect two words by the end of the school year and the surgery on his ears apparently didn't work so we didn't even expect to get two words from him.
His first word was "onion" and he jumped right from onion to "Hi MOM." He was saying "ma" but the speech therapist said it was too much of a sound and not enough of a word to count for anything.
Since he started school a month ago he has said "ball", tried to say "bat", said "go" and today he said "ice". we are excited about every new word he says, but he seems to be getting MORE and not LESS frustrated with his communication. Oi vey.
Max is balancing books and Cj is clapping and saying "yay" every time Max makes a successful pile.
Max's words are coming with a fury now it seems. The speech therapist said to only expect two words by the end of the school year and the surgery on his ears apparently didn't work so we didn't even expect to get two words from him.
His first word was "onion" and he jumped right from onion to "Hi MOM." He was saying "ma" but the speech therapist said it was too much of a sound and not enough of a word to count for anything.
Since he started school a month ago he has said "ball", tried to say "bat", said "go" and today he said "ice". we are excited about every new word he says, but he seems to be getting MORE and not LESS frustrated with his communication. Oi vey.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
meme
This is part 1 of a meme taken from Sunday stealing.....
1. What is the color of your toothbrush? blue and pink actually. I can't remember the last time I had a pink toothbrush before this one. I've had it less than a month.
2. Name one person who made you smile today. The actors on SNL doing a skit.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? In bed asleep
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching a movie (ladyhawke) and playing on facebook.
5. What is your favorite candy bar? I don't have a favorite, what I choose depends on my mood. Probably Cadbury's fruit and nut more than anything else.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Only for a job interview
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? Only for a job interview.
8. What is your favorite ice cream? vanilla
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? coke
10. Do you like your wallet? I don't have a wallet really. I like my purse, but it is actually a pencil case, an elephant skin pencil case.
11. What was the last thing you ate? popcorn
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? nope
13. The last sporting event you watched? UFC
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? regular
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Nikki, and I'm pretty sure she is ignoring me.
16. Ever go camping? yup
17. Do you take vitamins daily? no, but I need to
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? nope, but I did for more than 1/2 my life.
19. Do you have a tan? kinda.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? yes
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? no
22. What did your last text message say? something about someone who was somewhere they shouldn't be.
23. What are you doing tomorrow? sleeping in, reading and UNFORTUNATELY for me - going to work
24.Favorite color? green
25. Look to your left, what do you see? the wall
1. What is the color of your toothbrush? blue and pink actually. I can't remember the last time I had a pink toothbrush before this one. I've had it less than a month.
2. Name one person who made you smile today. The actors on SNL doing a skit.
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? In bed asleep
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Watching a movie (ladyhawke) and playing on facebook.
5. What is your favorite candy bar? I don't have a favorite, what I choose depends on my mood. Probably Cadbury's fruit and nut more than anything else.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Only for a job interview
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? Only for a job interview.
8. What is your favorite ice cream? vanilla
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? coke
10. Do you like your wallet? I don't have a wallet really. I like my purse, but it is actually a pencil case, an elephant skin pencil case.
11. What was the last thing you ate? popcorn
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? nope
13. The last sporting event you watched? UFC
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? regular
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Nikki, and I'm pretty sure she is ignoring me.
16. Ever go camping? yup
17. Do you take vitamins daily? no, but I need to
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? nope, but I did for more than 1/2 my life.
19. Do you have a tan? kinda.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? yes
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? no
22. What did your last text message say? something about someone who was somewhere they shouldn't be.
23. What are you doing tomorrow? sleeping in, reading and UNFORTUNATELY for me - going to work
24.Favorite color? green
25. Look to your left, what do you see? the wall
machinery going ALL DAY
I am having a very indulgent day. I slept in, read a book from cover to cover, watched some UFC fights and now I am watching a movie and eating popcorn. I love this kind of a day.
all day long - from the time I woke up until long after dark I have been listening to the machinery of the farmer going over the land all around us. It has made me realize a few things... Number 1. It is very easy to become accustomed to the absolute silence out here, and to appreciate it. The noise of them working has been annoying all day and every time we let Zuva outside she barks like mad which is more annoying. She has a lot to get used to with the changing landscape and being alone.
Number 2. Whomever it is that is working the machinery in the field is a ridiculous worker. I can't imagine that the thing has a very good heater and it has not stopped going ALL day and it is cold out. The machine has literally not been turned off for a lot of hours. They obviously want to turn what was bush into viable farmland as quickly as possible and they are sparing no expense to get it ready as soon as possible and start making money off it.
Number 3. They must have a whack of money - for the time and the equipment that has been coming and going, even if they don't own this machinery they are paying a pretty penny to rent it and get the work done.
Number 4. As annoying as it is to hear them working all day, the sooner they are done the sooner we will not have to listen to it anymore and it will just be the "normal" farmer work being done in the fields.
Number 5. We REALLY need to be ready first thing in the spring to get our windbreak up as soon as possible and put some trees on our property. We will never be able to replace what was there, but we will be able to make a difference --- THAT IS OUR GOAL.
all day long - from the time I woke up until long after dark I have been listening to the machinery of the farmer going over the land all around us. It has made me realize a few things... Number 1. It is very easy to become accustomed to the absolute silence out here, and to appreciate it. The noise of them working has been annoying all day and every time we let Zuva outside she barks like mad which is more annoying. She has a lot to get used to with the changing landscape and being alone.
Number 2. Whomever it is that is working the machinery in the field is a ridiculous worker. I can't imagine that the thing has a very good heater and it has not stopped going ALL day and it is cold out. The machine has literally not been turned off for a lot of hours. They obviously want to turn what was bush into viable farmland as quickly as possible and they are sparing no expense to get it ready as soon as possible and start making money off it.
Number 3. They must have a whack of money - for the time and the equipment that has been coming and going, even if they don't own this machinery they are paying a pretty penny to rent it and get the work done.
Number 4. As annoying as it is to hear them working all day, the sooner they are done the sooner we will not have to listen to it anymore and it will just be the "normal" farmer work being done in the fields.
Number 5. We REALLY need to be ready first thing in the spring to get our windbreak up as soon as possible and put some trees on our property. We will never be able to replace what was there, but we will be able to make a difference --- THAT IS OUR GOAL.
Friday, November 6, 2009
meme
Sunday Stealing: The Magical Mystery Tour Meme
1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? yes
2. How do you flush the toilet in public? the same way I flush a toilet in private - with the toilet handle
3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? no
4. Do you have a crush on someone? no
5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. time
6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? when I was skinny and had long hair people thought I resembled steffi graf. Now I resemble no-one.
7. What is your favourite pizza topping? ham
8. Do you crack your knuckles? no
9. What song do you hate the most? La bamba
10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? no
11. What are your super powers? none
12. Peppermint or spearmint? depends
13. Where are your car keys? hanging on the key rack
14. Last song you listened to? something by five for fighting.
15. What's your most annoying habit? I don't know, it doesn't annoy me I guess.
16. Where did you last go on vacation? we haven't gone on vacation in so long I cant remember... San Francisco.
17. What is your best physical feature? my hands
18. What CD is closest to you right now? oh shoot. Probably one of maxies kindermusic cds somewhere.
19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? sour cream, milk, Worcestershire sauce.
20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I'm not hugely superstitious I don't think....
21. What colour are your bed sheets? we have all different colors... blue is probably in most of them.
22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? bird
23. Last thing you broke? a fingernail?
24. What are you having to eat tonight? snacks.
25. What colour shirt are you wearing? purple
26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? sleeping right now.
27. Do security cameras make you nervous? not at all
28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be?
29. Last time you went to a cemetery? when I was in California and went to my great grandmothers grave.
30. Last concert you went to? hopefully the NEXT concert I got to will be U2
31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? Indigo girls
32. Next concert you're planning to attend? U2
33. Do you talk to yourself? all the time and out loud
34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? most of the pets I have ever owned have been adopted
35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? I was pretty close to being present when shorties kittens were born, Shel was there.
1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? yes
2. How do you flush the toilet in public? the same way I flush a toilet in private - with the toilet handle
3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? no
4. Do you have a crush on someone? no
5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. time
6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? when I was skinny and had long hair people thought I resembled steffi graf. Now I resemble no-one.
7. What is your favourite pizza topping? ham
8. Do you crack your knuckles? no
9. What song do you hate the most? La bamba
10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? no
11. What are your super powers? none
12. Peppermint or spearmint? depends
13. Where are your car keys? hanging on the key rack
14. Last song you listened to? something by five for fighting.
15. What's your most annoying habit? I don't know, it doesn't annoy me I guess.
16. Where did you last go on vacation? we haven't gone on vacation in so long I cant remember... San Francisco.
17. What is your best physical feature? my hands
18. What CD is closest to you right now? oh shoot. Probably one of maxies kindermusic cds somewhere.
19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? sour cream, milk, Worcestershire sauce.
20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I'm not hugely superstitious I don't think....
21. What colour are your bed sheets? we have all different colors... blue is probably in most of them.
22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? bird
23. Last thing you broke? a fingernail?
24. What are you having to eat tonight? snacks.
25. What colour shirt are you wearing? purple
26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? sleeping right now.
27. Do security cameras make you nervous? not at all
28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be?
29. Last time you went to a cemetery? when I was in California and went to my great grandmothers grave.
30. Last concert you went to? hopefully the NEXT concert I got to will be U2
31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? Indigo girls
32. Next concert you're planning to attend? U2
33. Do you talk to yourself? all the time and out loud
34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? most of the pets I have ever owned have been adopted
35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? I was pretty close to being present when shorties kittens were born, Shel was there.
finally friday.....
Doing this nablopomo thing is making me try to get my creative juices flowing again to try and come up with creative things to post about and not just use meme's to fill the days. I do enjoy memes though so I will likely post a few this month. And I won't pretend for a minute that I am having any luck coming up with interesting ideas to write about.
In the meantime, I am glad it is Friday, I am glad I am done with work for the day, and I am looking forward to getting into bed with some books we got from the library last week. I have read four books this week - I feel almost human! (o.k. so they were the twilight series books so not anything deep or time consuming, bit it still felt good to read something from cover to cover!)
Unfortunately I have to be back to work on Sunday so I don't really get a whole weekend off. I am SPENT. There are not enough hours in the day for me to catch up on my sleep.
In the meantime, I am glad it is Friday, I am glad I am done with work for the day, and I am looking forward to getting into bed with some books we got from the library last week. I have read four books this week - I feel almost human! (o.k. so they were the twilight series books so not anything deep or time consuming, bit it still felt good to read something from cover to cover!)
Unfortunately I have to be back to work on Sunday so I don't really get a whole weekend off. I am SPENT. There are not enough hours in the day for me to catch up on my sleep.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
all messed up
Some things have changed in my schedule at work and for the first time in six years I am not working late nights on Thursdays, but on Wednesdays instead. There are some things I like about, but there is one thing in particular that I HATE about it. I cannot get used to the fact that when I go into work the day AFTER my late night it is NOT Friday. I am so accustomed to coming in to work just one more day after my late night shift and then having my weekend. I have been working this new schedule for almost a month already and it has messed me up completely. All day Thursday I think it is Friday and I am ridiculously sad to get up on Friday morning and realize I have to go into work because it is not the weekend. It also seems to "chop" my week into weird parts.... I don't get as much done in the week before my late shift and my two days afterwards feel like a hazy mess. It's a real mind f&^%.
When I walked out of the building tonight I said to two students "Have a good weekend" to which they responded "Oh - do you get the day off tomorrow?" I could have cried on the spot.
I am not a person who typically has any aversion to change at all, but this change has messed with my whole groove and I am struggling to get back into it.
When I walked out of the building tonight I said to two students "Have a good weekend" to which they responded "Oh - do you get the day off tomorrow?" I could have cried on the spot.
I am not a person who typically has any aversion to change at all, but this change has messed with my whole groove and I am struggling to get back into it.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
swine flu
I am working tonight and my spouse just called to let me know she things the swine flu has hit our home.
I should not be surprised, our boys get sick with EVERY bug that passes. Max has had an upset stomach today which is apparently one of the symptoms. He also has a fever and body aches. Shel asked him if there was any part of his body which "DIDN'T" hurt and he said no.
ARG
I should not be surprised, our boys get sick with EVERY bug that passes. Max has had an upset stomach today which is apparently one of the symptoms. He also has a fever and body aches. Shel asked him if there was any part of his body which "DIDN'T" hurt and he said no.
ARG
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
shake my head
In my profession there are always things cropping up that are unexpected. Some are funny, some are annoying and some are sad. Then there are the ones that just leave me shaking my head because I am simply baffled.
Today for instance, two female students came to the front counter. They are living in an apartment together and one bedroom unit is unoccupied. They were concerned that "someone" today had entered the third bedroom and turned on a light and left it on. We have had maintenance in the unit working on the heating system and thought it was possible (though unlikely?) that maintenance had let themselves into the bedroom. Still, stranger things have happened and so the office administrator went to the apartment to unlock the door and turn off the light. It turns out there was no light on in the bedroom, it was....THE SUN! Yup. The sun was shining through the window and a stream of sunlight was shining under the door and it freaked them out. I suppose it's true, we don't see much of the sun WAYYYY up here in the north. Unfortunately we were unable to turn it off for them. I'll bet that shows up on our exit survey.
"Office administrator unable to turn off the sun when it shone under the door." We have had complaints about the darkness you know.
Then there's the guy who comes in to make a payment plan and so I ask him what funding he is getting and why he needs to be on a payment plan. He asks ME what funding he is getting. That meeting got confusing very quickly. I am starting to wonder if I live in an alternate reality.
Unfortunately for me it was just "one of those days". I had to do a requisition for some new fire panels. So I do the requisition (in triplicate) and print it off without saving it, because why would I save something I just printed off three copies of? Then I open my email and see a quote from another company for a lesser rate than the one I just made out the requisition for. So I tear up ALL THREE COPIES that I just printed off and start to work on the new requisition and THEN realize that the email is about INSTALLATION of the panels, and the original requisition is for the panels themselves. Nice.
I decide I'm not starting on that lengthy project again this afternoon, I will just make a quick call to a vendor about getting some key tags. My call went through to a salesperson at the company and I made my request. I know EXACTLY what it is that I want. I have a catalogue in front of me and all I need to do is ask if the product comes in more than one color. She asks me "Why?" I should have known then that the three minutes I planned to take on this phone call just blew right out of the window. I was on the phone for over 20 minutes. Instead of her helping me, I spent the entire call tried to explain what I was doing to someone who had NO conception of the project and who was becoming more confused by the minute. She had some interesting suggestions for the project though - WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER - and she ended up directing me to the website (which I already had used!)
CAN THIS DAY END? Where is my office administrator when I need the sun turned off?
Today for instance, two female students came to the front counter. They are living in an apartment together and one bedroom unit is unoccupied. They were concerned that "someone" today had entered the third bedroom and turned on a light and left it on. We have had maintenance in the unit working on the heating system and thought it was possible (though unlikely?) that maintenance had let themselves into the bedroom. Still, stranger things have happened and so the office administrator went to the apartment to unlock the door and turn off the light. It turns out there was no light on in the bedroom, it was....THE SUN! Yup. The sun was shining through the window and a stream of sunlight was shining under the door and it freaked them out. I suppose it's true, we don't see much of the sun WAYYYY up here in the north. Unfortunately we were unable to turn it off for them. I'll bet that shows up on our exit survey.
"Office administrator unable to turn off the sun when it shone under the door." We have had complaints about the darkness you know.
Then there's the guy who comes in to make a payment plan and so I ask him what funding he is getting and why he needs to be on a payment plan. He asks ME what funding he is getting. That meeting got confusing very quickly. I am starting to wonder if I live in an alternate reality.
Unfortunately for me it was just "one of those days". I had to do a requisition for some new fire panels. So I do the requisition (in triplicate) and print it off without saving it, because why would I save something I just printed off three copies of? Then I open my email and see a quote from another company for a lesser rate than the one I just made out the requisition for. So I tear up ALL THREE COPIES that I just printed off and start to work on the new requisition and THEN realize that the email is about INSTALLATION of the panels, and the original requisition is for the panels themselves. Nice.
I decide I'm not starting on that lengthy project again this afternoon, I will just make a quick call to a vendor about getting some key tags. My call went through to a salesperson at the company and I made my request. I know EXACTLY what it is that I want. I have a catalogue in front of me and all I need to do is ask if the product comes in more than one color. She asks me "Why?" I should have known then that the three minutes I planned to take on this phone call just blew right out of the window. I was on the phone for over 20 minutes. Instead of her helping me, I spent the entire call tried to explain what I was doing to someone who had NO conception of the project and who was becoming more confused by the minute. She had some interesting suggestions for the project though - WHICH MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WHATSOEVER - and she ended up directing me to the website (which I already had used!)
CAN THIS DAY END? Where is my office administrator when I need the sun turned off?
Monday, November 2, 2009
where the wild things are
I have always loved the book "Where the Wild Things Are". I haven't seen the movie yet but we plan on going and taking our little ones to it - their first movie in a theater. I suppose for them the theater will never play as big as role in their lives as it has in mine, just because we live so far from the theater.
My number one son is named Max. I'm thinking of getting a tattoo of the Max from Wild Things as my representation of my boy. Right now he is still not really interested in sitting in our laps and being read to - which makes sense if he can't hear us right? It bothered me a little that he would never sit in my lap and let me read to him because reading is SO much a part of our lives. Now that he is in the school program and they visit the library he seems a bit more interested in checking out books. I hope this book will be one of his favorites. I can't wait to read it to him.
If you haven't read the book yet - you must. I love it. I hope the movie does it justice (but do they ever?)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
November already
Our beloved Tora is resting in peace now. She was a gentle soul and we all miss her desperately. October was a hard month for us all. With putting Tora to sleep and all the medical appointments for Max we were coming and going all month long.
Max has decided that he LOVES pumpkin carving. We carved a few together and he had a complete ball.
The farmer finished cutting down all the trees to the north of us leaving us completely exposed - and feeling it. It looks horrible and we can barely wait until spring to get new trees planted. I am sure it will make a difference, but it will never be the same.
I can't believe the month is already over. Maxie has been in school already for a month. He seems to be settling in - or he is just very excited every day to be picked up! The speech therapist said we should set a goal for him for the year of learning two words. His first word was "onion" which cracks me up. This week when I picked him up the teachers said he said "ball". We are super excited that he has already said two words because in one of his appointments this month the doctor said he was "profoundly" deaf and that the surgery in September for his ears didn't work.
Max has decided that he LOVES pumpkin carving. We carved a few together and he had a complete ball. 
The farmer finished cutting down all the trees to the north of us leaving us completely exposed - and feeling it. It looks horrible and we can barely wait until spring to get new trees planted. I am sure it will make a difference, but it will never be the same. Thursday, October 29, 2009
things boys do
Watching television together. One of them will smile for the camera!
Playing bedtime. He likes to `pretend`` its bedtime, but hates going to bed!
Going for rides in the bins.
Sharing a comfy seat.
Sitting under the table together...
Painting with Nyx for company
Paint IN the paint container
Painting
The finished painting product.
First you finish it, then you drive a truck over it!
Eating paint
Is it better to paint or play fort or a little of both
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
365/13 "Kid"
From HERE
Try this: make a list of 365 people whose names you remember and who were interesting to you. Even if you don't want to write 40 about each, at least try making the list. And then, if you can, write down a few words about each of them before they're gone from your memory. If you can't do this, it might be wise to spend the next 365 days meeting more people in person who are interesting to you. Learn their names.
It has been a while since I blogged anything that I consider to have "content". This 365 idea is one I started a while ago and one I am interested in following through with. I think I am gearing up for NaBloPoMo and trying to post every day of the month.
So here is something about "Kid" and why he was interesting to me.
Kid came into a group home type setting when he was under the age of twelve. We didn't get many kids that young unless there was some reason they were sexually inappropriate with the kids in the kid shelters. So without knowing a bunch about his background we knew there was some sexual stuff. It turns out kid was removed from the care of his mother when he was under the age of four. His step father and a series of mothers boyfriends had physically abused him so severely that when he was under the age of one he had bones broken. MANY bones broken. Does it go without saying how horribly sexually abused he was? He lived at first with grandmother but she had mental health issues and became homeless and they lived together in her car until they were reported and he was taken from her. He went to other family members and was accused of being sexually inappropriate and placed temporarily with us. I'm not going to sugar coat anything - he acted out sexually in mind boggling ways. He completely annoyed the female staff and for good reason. I will not know until the day I die why I connected with this kid. Everything about his behaviors were (and are) a "turn off" to me. And somehow I liked him. A lot. I liked him enough that if we had been able to be foster parents I would have taken him into my home - and I can't say that about any other kid but ONE in all my years of working with teens.
He went from our place to a young sex offender home (please don't get me going on THAT topic). To my knowledge he was never "out" of group homes until he aged out of the system.
I have kept some track of him over the years although we were never in contact after he left the place I worked. The last I heard of him he was being incarcerated for sexual predation in a public park. I read an interview by the father of one of the kids he lured. The man was livid (understandably) and completely vilified this sexual predator (understandably). I don't blame him one bit, and yet in the back of my mind - or closer to the front of my mind - was the fact that I knew this kid. I knew him when he was a little boy. I am so very sad for him and for the life he has lived on this earth. I know there are people who will hate my opinion. I know there are people who don't agree with me, and yet I still shed a tear, yes a tear, for the tiny tiny baby who had his arms and legs and collar bone broken, and wonder what his life would have been like if someone had cared for him.
one day while we were driving with him and other kids to go sledding, we were pulled over in the youth corrections van for going to fast, He was in the seat right behind the driver, by friend Louie. The officer wanted her to giver her name and address and phone number but she didn't want Kid to hear her giving her personal information so she was trying to whisper to the officer out of the window. Every time she whispered the officer said"WHAT" and made her repeat what she had just said. Every time she repeated herself, Kid leaned closer to her to hear what she was saying. I know she was not amused but I found it very funny. Finally she said her phone number loud enough for the officer - and Kid - to hear it and as the officer wrote it down, kid started to chant it. "seven seven threee....." He kept it up all day. no matter what he was threatened with he could not even get himself to stop. Since it wasnt my number, I thought it was hilarious, but I can see how infuriating it was to her. I just don`t know what I liked so much about this kid!
Try this: make a list of 365 people whose names you remember and who were interesting to you. Even if you don't want to write 40 about each, at least try making the list. And then, if you can, write down a few words about each of them before they're gone from your memory. If you can't do this, it might be wise to spend the next 365 days meeting more people in person who are interesting to you. Learn their names.
It has been a while since I blogged anything that I consider to have "content". This 365 idea is one I started a while ago and one I am interested in following through with. I think I am gearing up for NaBloPoMo and trying to post every day of the month.
So here is something about "Kid" and why he was interesting to me.
Kid came into a group home type setting when he was under the age of twelve. We didn't get many kids that young unless there was some reason they were sexually inappropriate with the kids in the kid shelters. So without knowing a bunch about his background we knew there was some sexual stuff. It turns out kid was removed from the care of his mother when he was under the age of four. His step father and a series of mothers boyfriends had physically abused him so severely that when he was under the age of one he had bones broken. MANY bones broken. Does it go without saying how horribly sexually abused he was? He lived at first with grandmother but she had mental health issues and became homeless and they lived together in her car until they were reported and he was taken from her. He went to other family members and was accused of being sexually inappropriate and placed temporarily with us. I'm not going to sugar coat anything - he acted out sexually in mind boggling ways. He completely annoyed the female staff and for good reason. I will not know until the day I die why I connected with this kid. Everything about his behaviors were (and are) a "turn off" to me. And somehow I liked him. A lot. I liked him enough that if we had been able to be foster parents I would have taken him into my home - and I can't say that about any other kid but ONE in all my years of working with teens.
He went from our place to a young sex offender home (please don't get me going on THAT topic). To my knowledge he was never "out" of group homes until he aged out of the system.
I have kept some track of him over the years although we were never in contact after he left the place I worked. The last I heard of him he was being incarcerated for sexual predation in a public park. I read an interview by the father of one of the kids he lured. The man was livid (understandably) and completely vilified this sexual predator (understandably). I don't blame him one bit, and yet in the back of my mind - or closer to the front of my mind - was the fact that I knew this kid. I knew him when he was a little boy. I am so very sad for him and for the life he has lived on this earth. I know there are people who will hate my opinion. I know there are people who don't agree with me, and yet I still shed a tear, yes a tear, for the tiny tiny baby who had his arms and legs and collar bone broken, and wonder what his life would have been like if someone had cared for him.
one day while we were driving with him and other kids to go sledding, we were pulled over in the youth corrections van for going to fast, He was in the seat right behind the driver, by friend Louie. The officer wanted her to giver her name and address and phone number but she didn't want Kid to hear her giving her personal information so she was trying to whisper to the officer out of the window. Every time she whispered the officer said"WHAT" and made her repeat what she had just said. Every time she repeated herself, Kid leaned closer to her to hear what she was saying. I know she was not amused but I found it very funny. Finally she said her phone number loud enough for the officer - and Kid - to hear it and as the officer wrote it down, kid started to chant it. "seven seven threee....." He kept it up all day. no matter what he was threatened with he could not even get himself to stop. Since it wasnt my number, I thought it was hilarious, but I can see how infuriating it was to her. I just don`t know what I liked so much about this kid!
happy birthday to me. What an awesome day
I had a great day. I worked, which I think should be banned, but other than that I couldn't have asked for a better day.My son picked out my balloon and my stickers (which he used). We all wore party hats - even the dog! and our bedazzled sunglasses. Maxie even went to bed with his sunglasses, cause you know, his futures so bright he has to wear shades.
My nieces and nephews sang to me. My office was decorated with balloons and streamers. What more could a person ask for?
My baby gets his first school photos
Today is the day my number one gets his first school photo. I don't think he is as excited as we are. Of course we purchased the most expensive photo pack, we are total suckers. We are going to have so many pictures we won't know what to do with - and don't forget the fridge magnet ones!
I am HOPING he looks at the camera, he doesn't really like to do anything by himself, so even sitting in the chair alone might be interesting. I will laugh if we get a picture of him and the teachers assistant!
When I picked him up they said he did fine. He even "kinda" smiled and they can retouch the pictures so his rash isn't so bad which is also nice.
We think he is beautiful no matter what, and even if he hadn't looked at the camera it's ok.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
if today is your birthday.... yup it is!
October 27 Birthday Horoscope
If Today is Your Birthday: October 27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Year Ahead
Forecast for October 2009 to October 2010
If You Were Born Today, October 27: You are an energetic, emotional, and dynamic person. A study in contradictions, at times you appear reserved and quiet, and at other times bold and even reckless. Your inner restlessness can drive you to achieve much, as long as you learn to control your mood swings. Success is within your reach, largely due to your dynamism. You are enigmatic and passionate, and your powers of observation exceptional. Famous people born today: John Cleese, Emily Post, Sylvia Plath, Theodore Roosevelt, Marla Maples.
Your Birthday Year Forecast: A trine between the Sun and the Moon in your Solar Return chart this year is a fortunate aspect. It suggests that your domestic and career needs are not in competition with one another in the year ahead. Your inner needs tend to be mirrored by external events, and vice versa. This aspect is very powerful and rewarding. It suggests that you will be on top of your game this year, for the most part, and positive connections with others can be made fairly easily. A comfortable level of personal popularity helps to keep conflict to a minimum. With the ability to handle your emotions successfully, there is less stress on both your mind and body. Your self-confidence and positive attitude will reward you!
The Sun squares Mars in your Solar Return chart. Your energy levels run high this year, but you should watch for hasty or impetuous behavior. Remember that "haste makes waste". This year is likely to be especially busy. You could be rather wilful and impassioned, and it would be best to channel excess energy into healthy physical outlets. Others might find you temperamental. If you suffer from frequent headaches, it is likely that you are not dealing with your own anger or desire to take the lead appropriately. You feel a great need for action, but if you don't know where you're headed, you might take the wrong turn. As long as you channel the excess energy constructively, instead of wasting your time arguing or getting yourself into conflicts with others, you can accomplish much.
The Sun forms a sextile to Pluto in your Solar Return chart, and your attitude towards life is changing. What used to satisfy you may not continue to do so, particularly if your goals have been superficial or a poor reflection of your inner desires. You are no longer willing to make compromises in the important areas of your life, particularly with regards to career and your life path. You are more determined this year, and it�s an excellent time for getting rid of bad habits. This is a year in which to get your life back on track, as you have the willpower to do so. Others are bound to recognize your leadership skills and talents, or, at the very least, your potential. You want your life path and your objectives to reflect what you�re really about. You benefit from being more decisive than usual, and your ability to concentrate and focus help you to achieve what you set out to do. A new project or goal begun this year has a good chance of being successful and long-lasting.
Venus trines Jupiter, and you are likely to find yourself more accepting and understanding of your friends and lovers. Contentedness in love is likely to figure and to attract positive circumstances (and people) into your life this year. Legal affairs, education, and travel may be especially fortunate for you. Social opportunities might increase, and a boost in your personal popularity and magnetism is also likely. Others are looking on you favorably, particularly friends and lovers (or potential lovers). You are more friendly, optimistic, and big-hearted than usual. A cheerful and hopeful outlook increases your chances of gaining cooperation from others. This is a sociable, and perhaps self-indulgent, time when the pursuit of pleasure is one of your high priorities! You could find that you are more open and trusting of friends and lovers, and that you easily win others� trust. Healthy speculation is favored. Financial benefits may come your way. Some people fall in love under this influence.
This is a year of increased confidence for you--a great period in your life for discovering or rediscovering your talents. Realistic optimism is your main avenue to success, while impatience is a potential downfall. Social opportunities increase and an expansive, faithful attitude brings rewards.
If Today is Your Birthday: October 27
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Year Ahead
Forecast for October 2009 to October 2010
If You Were Born Today, October 27: You are an energetic, emotional, and dynamic person. A study in contradictions, at times you appear reserved and quiet, and at other times bold and even reckless. Your inner restlessness can drive you to achieve much, as long as you learn to control your mood swings. Success is within your reach, largely due to your dynamism. You are enigmatic and passionate, and your powers of observation exceptional. Famous people born today: John Cleese, Emily Post, Sylvia Plath, Theodore Roosevelt, Marla Maples.
Your Birthday Year Forecast: A trine between the Sun and the Moon in your Solar Return chart this year is a fortunate aspect. It suggests that your domestic and career needs are not in competition with one another in the year ahead. Your inner needs tend to be mirrored by external events, and vice versa. This aspect is very powerful and rewarding. It suggests that you will be on top of your game this year, for the most part, and positive connections with others can be made fairly easily. A comfortable level of personal popularity helps to keep conflict to a minimum. With the ability to handle your emotions successfully, there is less stress on both your mind and body. Your self-confidence and positive attitude will reward you!
The Sun squares Mars in your Solar Return chart. Your energy levels run high this year, but you should watch for hasty or impetuous behavior. Remember that "haste makes waste". This year is likely to be especially busy. You could be rather wilful and impassioned, and it would be best to channel excess energy into healthy physical outlets. Others might find you temperamental. If you suffer from frequent headaches, it is likely that you are not dealing with your own anger or desire to take the lead appropriately. You feel a great need for action, but if you don't know where you're headed, you might take the wrong turn. As long as you channel the excess energy constructively, instead of wasting your time arguing or getting yourself into conflicts with others, you can accomplish much.
The Sun forms a sextile to Pluto in your Solar Return chart, and your attitude towards life is changing. What used to satisfy you may not continue to do so, particularly if your goals have been superficial or a poor reflection of your inner desires. You are no longer willing to make compromises in the important areas of your life, particularly with regards to career and your life path. You are more determined this year, and it�s an excellent time for getting rid of bad habits. This is a year in which to get your life back on track, as you have the willpower to do so. Others are bound to recognize your leadership skills and talents, or, at the very least, your potential. You want your life path and your objectives to reflect what you�re really about. You benefit from being more decisive than usual, and your ability to concentrate and focus help you to achieve what you set out to do. A new project or goal begun this year has a good chance of being successful and long-lasting.
Venus trines Jupiter, and you are likely to find yourself more accepting and understanding of your friends and lovers. Contentedness in love is likely to figure and to attract positive circumstances (and people) into your life this year. Legal affairs, education, and travel may be especially fortunate for you. Social opportunities might increase, and a boost in your personal popularity and magnetism is also likely. Others are looking on you favorably, particularly friends and lovers (or potential lovers). You are more friendly, optimistic, and big-hearted than usual. A cheerful and hopeful outlook increases your chances of gaining cooperation from others. This is a sociable, and perhaps self-indulgent, time when the pursuit of pleasure is one of your high priorities! You could find that you are more open and trusting of friends and lovers, and that you easily win others� trust. Healthy speculation is favored. Financial benefits may come your way. Some people fall in love under this influence.
This is a year of increased confidence for you--a great period in your life for discovering or rediscovering your talents. Realistic optimism is your main avenue to success, while impatience is a potential downfall. Social opportunities increase and an expansive, faithful attitude brings rewards.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Diski Dance
World Cup 2010 is in South Africa. I am a HUGE fan of football (soccer) and I wish I were able to visit my parents in SA while the world cup is being hosted there.
Check out this dance that is based on football moves and has been developed in SA.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
words
I've written quite a bit about my oldest boy and some of the challenges he faces. We recently enrolled him in a program called "stepping forward" where he goes to the elementary school and they work with children with all different kinds of developmental delays. They have a speech therapist, an occupational therapist and all kinds of intervention programs they use with the kids. It is a small group of children (less than ten) and there is a teacher, a teachers aid, and all of the other people who work with the kids. It is a great program and we are happy he is enrolled and getting access to some of the services he needs.
Last week he and I met with the speech therapist. We met for an hour and basically did an "intake" and she asked if I had any questions. I asked what we could expect, what we could work towards as far as goals for speech for him. I have always thought that his speech delay is directly linked to his profound hearing disability (which we hope has been corrected by his surgery), but I really thought that once he was done with his surgery he would start talking fairly quickly. I was wrong. We have a LOT of work to do with him and she said she thinks he a realistic goal for him would only be to say two words by the end of the school year in June.
He says things like "ma" and "ya" but she said those are not words as much as they are "sounds" and we can't really count them.
So I tried to talk myself down from my high expectations, still HOPING he would say more than two words by the end of the year.
Yesterday I picked him up and we drove home together. When we got home I asked him to help me to carry the grocery bags into the house. As he picked up a bag two onions fell out onto the floor of the truck. He put down the bag and picked up the onions. I asked him if he was going to carry the onions inside instead of the bags. He looked at me, looked and the onions and said "onion". I was shocked and thrilled and told him to go inside and tell his mom what he just said. He went inside and said "Ma. Onion!" We were both so thrilled we did a happy dance and tried to get him to say it again. He isn't so interested in being our object of amusement and so he put the onions down and went back outside to get grocery bags.
I am still ecstatic that he said his first word!
I think I'm going to get a picture of an onion for his bedroom wall - and now we only have to get him to learn one more word and we have reached our goal for the year!
Last week he and I met with the speech therapist. We met for an hour and basically did an "intake" and she asked if I had any questions. I asked what we could expect, what we could work towards as far as goals for speech for him. I have always thought that his speech delay is directly linked to his profound hearing disability (which we hope has been corrected by his surgery), but I really thought that once he was done with his surgery he would start talking fairly quickly. I was wrong. We have a LOT of work to do with him and she said she thinks he a realistic goal for him would only be to say two words by the end of the school year in June.
He says things like "ma" and "ya" but she said those are not words as much as they are "sounds" and we can't really count them.
So I tried to talk myself down from my high expectations, still HOPING he would say more than two words by the end of the year.
Yesterday I picked him up and we drove home together. When we got home I asked him to help me to carry the grocery bags into the house. As he picked up a bag two onions fell out onto the floor of the truck. He put down the bag and picked up the onions. I asked him if he was going to carry the onions inside instead of the bags. He looked at me, looked and the onions and said "onion". I was shocked and thrilled and told him to go inside and tell his mom what he just said. He went inside and said "Ma. Onion!" We were both so thrilled we did a happy dance and tried to get him to say it again. He isn't so interested in being our object of amusement and so he put the onions down and went back outside to get grocery bags.
I am still ecstatic that he said his first word!
I think I'm going to get a picture of an onion for his bedroom wall - and now we only have to get him to learn one more word and we have reached our goal for the year!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
things I am thankful for... and not
Yesterday here in Canada was Thanksgiving day. For most of the day I was at work, cooking a meal for the students who don't go home over the long weekend. While I was away my spouse cooked up a dinner for us.
We have a tradition at the thanksgiving table to take rice grains from the bin and for every rice kernel we take we say something we are thankful for. The rice (not so mysteriously) got mixed in with sunflower seeds earlier in the week and ended up as bird food and so we had no rice kernels last night.
A few weeks ago my boy Max had surgery on his ears. He has had profound hearing loss since birth and although he is three, he doesn't speak. He does have a few words in his repertoire (like "ma"and "ya") and so I thought I would test out his hearing skills and ask him what he was thankful for. Our conversation went something like this:
Me:"Max, are you thankful for mashed potatoes?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Max, are you thankful for mom?"
Max:"Ya"
Me" Max, are you thankful for your cd player?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Max, are you thankful for your little brother?"
No response.
So I figured he was just tired of playing the game, but thought since he was digging his mashed potatoes I would try again.
Me: "Max, are you thankful for mashed potatoes?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Are you thankful for your gravy?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Are you thankful for your little brother?"
Crickets chirping.
Apparently in our house, spuds and gravy trump little brothers!
We have a tradition at the thanksgiving table to take rice grains from the bin and for every rice kernel we take we say something we are thankful for. The rice (not so mysteriously) got mixed in with sunflower seeds earlier in the week and ended up as bird food and so we had no rice kernels last night.
A few weeks ago my boy Max had surgery on his ears. He has had profound hearing loss since birth and although he is three, he doesn't speak. He does have a few words in his repertoire (like "ma"and "ya") and so I thought I would test out his hearing skills and ask him what he was thankful for. Our conversation went something like this:
Me:"Max, are you thankful for mashed potatoes?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Max, are you thankful for mom?"
Max:"Ya"
Me" Max, are you thankful for your cd player?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Max, are you thankful for your little brother?"
No response.
So I figured he was just tired of playing the game, but thought since he was digging his mashed potatoes I would try again.
Me: "Max, are you thankful for mashed potatoes?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Are you thankful for your gravy?"
Max: "Ya"
Me: "Are you thankful for your little brother?"
Crickets chirping.
Apparently in our house, spuds and gravy trump little brothers!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
this one goes out to the ones I love
Yesterday we put to rest the three oldest members of our animal family.
These members of the family were part of "us" even longer than I was. They have been with Shel and I as long as we have been together. Sadie, Gina and Angel were the three remaining cats from the family I joined when I met Shel. I joke about the first "big" fight that Shel and I had and how I told her that she needed to pick between me or the cats (at the time there were Buddy, Sadie, Simon, Gina, Georgie, Angel, Tiger and Foxie). She said "see ya later" to me so I left and slept in the front seat of tinkey winkey for the night. (That tells you how long ago it was because there is no way I could fit my fat body onto the front seat of tinkey for the night now!) After a night in the truck I reconsidered my position and withdrew my ultimatum because it was made painfully obvious to me that Shel was not going to part with the feline members of the family, even for me. (and I like to think I am somewhat of a "prize!)
We have moved more times than I care to remember and before they met me they moved a few times as well. They started out their lives in sunny Southern California and went from there to Utah and from Utah to Canada. When they arrived in Canada in November of 2003 I think they must have thought we were out of our minds because the temperature that balmy day was -26 degrees Celsius. Since we have been in Canada they have lived in three different homes and put up with the additions over the years of four dogs and two additional cats. They have outlived two of our dogs and five of their litter mates, so I am sure there was quite a reunion for them as they passed to the other side.
I know they have had wonderful lives. This summer in particular they spent a lot of time outside and we were even able to lure Sadie out of doors a few times. One by one we have said goodbye to other members of the family and not one farewell has been easy, but we have never said goodbye to three at once and that made things extra hard. Shel made sure they ate like kings for the last few days and we emptied more than one grocery shelf of tuna on their behalf. One by one yesterday morning Shel held them as they crossed over and we took them home to be buried next to Shiloh.
We knew the weather was changing so we wanted to be sure to get them buried last night. After the kids were in bed we went outside to dig their grave. By this time it was pitch black out and so we dug by the hole with the aid of the van headlights. Though the moment itself wasn't particularly humorous I am certain the whole herd of them were laughing at us as our bodies blocked the headlights and we tried to dig a hole we couldn't see!
We buried them with the items they were dragging when the day started, because what would their journey to the other side be like if they didn't have a pair of my underwear pulled behind them. Underwear, socks and a slipper went with them and I finally was able to let go of my Muk also. I am certain people think I am a loon, but I have had the ashes of my beloved Mukiwa with me in Tinkey Winkey since she passed. Now she is at rest with the rest of our original family, with the cats that raised her.
Travel well my friends. Thank you for accepting me into your lives. You are already missed more than you will know.
I don't have a lot of hope in things, but I do have hope you will all be waiting for me when it is my turn to cross the great divide.
P.S. Just so Shel won't miss you so much I promised to drag my clothing around the house and make loud mewling sounds when everyone was asleep.
These members of the family were part of "us" even longer than I was. They have been with Shel and I as long as we have been together. Sadie, Gina and Angel were the three remaining cats from the family I joined when I met Shel. I joke about the first "big" fight that Shel and I had and how I told her that she needed to pick between me or the cats (at the time there were Buddy, Sadie, Simon, Gina, Georgie, Angel, Tiger and Foxie). She said "see ya later" to me so I left and slept in the front seat of tinkey winkey for the night. (That tells you how long ago it was because there is no way I could fit my fat body onto the front seat of tinkey for the night now!) After a night in the truck I reconsidered my position and withdrew my ultimatum because it was made painfully obvious to me that Shel was not going to part with the feline members of the family, even for me. (and I like to think I am somewhat of a "prize!)
We have moved more times than I care to remember and before they met me they moved a few times as well. They started out their lives in sunny Southern California and went from there to Utah and from Utah to Canada. When they arrived in Canada in November of 2003 I think they must have thought we were out of our minds because the temperature that balmy day was -26 degrees Celsius. Since we have been in Canada they have lived in three different homes and put up with the additions over the years of four dogs and two additional cats. They have outlived two of our dogs and five of their litter mates, so I am sure there was quite a reunion for them as they passed to the other side.
I know they have had wonderful lives. This summer in particular they spent a lot of time outside and we were even able to lure Sadie out of doors a few times. One by one we have said goodbye to other members of the family and not one farewell has been easy, but we have never said goodbye to three at once and that made things extra hard. Shel made sure they ate like kings for the last few days and we emptied more than one grocery shelf of tuna on their behalf. One by one yesterday morning Shel held them as they crossed over and we took them home to be buried next to Shiloh.
We knew the weather was changing so we wanted to be sure to get them buried last night. After the kids were in bed we went outside to dig their grave. By this time it was pitch black out and so we dug by the hole with the aid of the van headlights. Though the moment itself wasn't particularly humorous I am certain the whole herd of them were laughing at us as our bodies blocked the headlights and we tried to dig a hole we couldn't see!
We buried them with the items they were dragging when the day started, because what would their journey to the other side be like if they didn't have a pair of my underwear pulled behind them. Underwear, socks and a slipper went with them and I finally was able to let go of my Muk also. I am certain people think I am a loon, but I have had the ashes of my beloved Mukiwa with me in Tinkey Winkey since she passed. Now she is at rest with the rest of our original family, with the cats that raised her.
Travel well my friends. Thank you for accepting me into your lives. You are already missed more than you will know.
I don't have a lot of hope in things, but I do have hope you will all be waiting for me when it is my turn to cross the great divide.
P.S. Just so Shel won't miss you so much I promised to drag my clothing around the house and make loud mewling sounds when everyone was asleep.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till its gone...
As I drove down the road today and approached the house my heart just dropped to the pit of my stomach. The farmer who purchased the land surrounding us has proceeded with his plans to remove the trees. This has left our home completely visible to the road. Anyone driving south down the dirt road can can now see DIRECTLY into our yard.
I am absolutely devestated. I suppose we never ever should have purchased a property without being fully aware that we had no control over the land that wasn't ours.
In addition to having our home now completely exposed to the road - and being so visible - the trees provided a natural wind break from the winds coming from the north. So now we are also exposed to the wind.
I am so very sad. Now even the place that I come to "escape" has been laid bare. Decimated. (the photo is not the FINAL result of tree removal.. I still need to find a good one to upload)
I am absolutely devestated. I suppose we never ever should have purchased a property without being fully aware that we had no control over the land that wasn't ours.
In addition to having our home now completely exposed to the road - and being so visible - the trees provided a natural wind break from the winds coming from the north. So now we are also exposed to the wind.
I am so very sad. Now even the place that I come to "escape" has been laid bare. Decimated. (the photo is not the FINAL result of tree removal.. I still need to find a good one to upload)
end of September
I cannot BELIEVE that it is the end of September. With every passing day I feel as though I am in some kind of time warp that is jetting me into the future and that I am moving faster and faster.
I have so many things to write about I almost think it would be better to wipe the slate clean and start over than to try to go back to capture some of the things that have passed... we shall see.
I have so many things to write about I almost think it would be better to wipe the slate clean and start over than to try to go back to capture some of the things that have passed... we shall see.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Final countdown
We are in the hotel room, Maxie is tucked away and actually sleeping. In less than 6 hours we have to be up and at em and on our way to check in at the hospital. We had a great drive down and he was super in the vehicle and had a blast in the hotel room for a good three hours before he crashed finally on the bed. This is the first time he has slept on a "real" bed so I hope we make it through the night without picking him up from between the wall and the mattress!
I said to my spouse on the way down here tonight that I am really feeling "OLD". I have face wrinkles (which she laughed at me for) and this summer I got a crack in one heel wearing my Birkenstocks all summer (which she scoffed at me for because she gets horribly cracked heels and cares for her feet endlessly and I do absolutely nothing to my feet and I had a teeny crack which is already gone), but mostly I feel "parenty" -- which to me feels like what "old" is.. I have been absolutely sick to my stomach all day worrying over this surgery for my man tomorrow. When i took the baby to the babysitter I felt guilty leaving him - not because I don't trust the babysitter, but because I want to be with him all the time. I am shocked at myself a bit over the "parenty" feelings - not because I don't love my kids, but because I never pictured myself as a worrier parent, but just a fun, happy go lucky, live and let live parent, and I'm turning into a bit of a "concerned" parent. (I always thought concerned parents needed to "let go" a little!)
I hope I can get some sleep tonight because heaven only knows there are not enough fields in all of farmtown to keep my mind off my boy if I am up all night.
I said to my spouse on the way down here tonight that I am really feeling "OLD". I have face wrinkles (which she laughed at me for) and this summer I got a crack in one heel wearing my Birkenstocks all summer (which she scoffed at me for because she gets horribly cracked heels and cares for her feet endlessly and I do absolutely nothing to my feet and I had a teeny crack which is already gone), but mostly I feel "parenty" -- which to me feels like what "old" is.. I have been absolutely sick to my stomach all day worrying over this surgery for my man tomorrow. When i took the baby to the babysitter I felt guilty leaving him - not because I don't trust the babysitter, but because I want to be with him all the time. I am shocked at myself a bit over the "parenty" feelings - not because I don't love my kids, but because I never pictured myself as a worrier parent, but just a fun, happy go lucky, live and let live parent, and I'm turning into a bit of a "concerned" parent. (I always thought concerned parents needed to "let go" a little!)
I hope I can get some sleep tonight because heaven only knows there are not enough fields in all of farmtown to keep my mind off my boy if I am up all night.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Lending a helping hand
My little sister is away on a mission. Our communication with her is very limited - no phone calls or tweets, facebook updates or text messages.
In an email this week to my parents (she can write a letter once a week) she asked my mom for some help to get her transcripts from a university in Canada to one in the USA ... by THIS Friday.
My mom is in South Africa so making the calls for her is difficult. I offered to lend a helping hand.
Holy smokes, I might have to cut off my hand and send it in so they can verify my fingeprints are from MY hand in the process. There are SO many hoops to jump through to get a copy of ones grades sent from one university to another.
This is something I don't completely understand and perhaps someone out there can explain it to me.
I am calling on my sisters behalf and requesting for her transcripts to be sent from one educational institution to another. I am not asking for a copy of them myself. I have to have a letter from my sister, with her signature, telling the institution that I am permitted to request this on her behalf. DO they have my sister's signature on file that they will compare them? And what if she is sleepy or cut her finger and her signature doesn't match? What if she is trying out a "new" signature?
I'm thinking if I could GET such a letter from my sister, wouldn't she be calling for the grades herself? Or faxing in the request for transcript herself?
And call me crazy, but let's just say I was messing with someone. Would I call and request a transcript of their grades sent to another institution? Would that just REALLY mess with them?
What is so secretive about grades? Maybe if I REALLY wanted to mess with someone I would request their transcripts be sent to me and then I would take a real embarrassing grade, like a "C" in math and then I would pay for a HUGE billboard somewhere like Times square and have it say .... SO AND SO GOT A "C" in college math. Would that EVER mess with their life. They might lose their job or something over it. Or their girlfriend would totally break up with them. Or they might be denied that loan......
Who knew grades were so important...
Monday, September 7, 2009
Surgery in three days
I would be totally lying if I said I was anything other than COMPLETELY nervous about this surgery. On the one hand I hate that I can't explain anything to my boy so that he knows what to expect. There's no doubt in my mind he COULD understand if there was a way to communicate it to him, but the rudimentary signing we are doing with him just isn't cutting it for communication between us.
That's the other reason I am so nervous. This could be the break through we have been waiting for in his understanding language and learning to speak, but it could also be just the beginning of something much longer and more complex.
I SOOO SOOO SOOO much want for him to wake up from this surgery and have a whole new world open to him, but the reality is that IF the surgery works at all and IF he wakes up and is able to hear, what he experiences could possibly be overwhelming and terrifying to him.
I want for this day to be the solution to the communication problems we are having, but it's not like he will wake up and all of a sudden start talking -and if he CAN hear - the things he hears will be like nothing he has ever heard before, and so in many was he will be just like a baby hearing things for the first time. He has this surgery and turns three with a few weeks of one another, there's a lot happening in his world right now. He is recently blossoming into a gentle and happy and funny kid and this could take us backwards in his development before it takes us forward.
I know I need to be patient. I know I need to be calm and mellow and able to offer him the safe place he will likely need when he wakes up and (hopefully) can hear.... I am just so afraid of wanting too much.
That's the other reason I am so nervous. This could be the break through we have been waiting for in his understanding language and learning to speak, but it could also be just the beginning of something much longer and more complex.
I SOOO SOOO SOOO much want for him to wake up from this surgery and have a whole new world open to him, but the reality is that IF the surgery works at all and IF he wakes up and is able to hear, what he experiences could possibly be overwhelming and terrifying to him.
I want for this day to be the solution to the communication problems we are having, but it's not like he will wake up and all of a sudden start talking -and if he CAN hear - the things he hears will be like nothing he has ever heard before, and so in many was he will be just like a baby hearing things for the first time. He has this surgery and turns three with a few weeks of one another, there's a lot happening in his world right now. He is recently blossoming into a gentle and happy and funny kid and this could take us backwards in his development before it takes us forward.
I know I need to be patient. I know I need to be calm and mellow and able to offer him the safe place he will likely need when he wakes up and (hopefully) can hear.... I am just so afraid of wanting too much.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Monthly Review of August
My month of August in review:
1) Photo of me: ( I am in this picture!)
1) Photo of me: ( I am in this picture!)
2) Current candle scents: I splurged and got a new candle which is lit right now in the office but I am sneezing up a storm. I think I am allergic to the perfume in it - it is lovely though. It is sugared plums and a pretty purple colour.
3) What I am currently reading: I have just finished a book by Jeffrey Archer entitled "Prisoner of Birth" which I LOVED. I am a huge fan of Jeffrey Archer I recently decided.
4) Newest music I added to my playlist: new Indigo Girls CD which I have to order online because apparently no-one in Northern Alberta has ever heard of them. FOR SHAME.
5) Movies I saw: I didn't see any movies in August. Nope. Not one.
6) Something yummy I made this month: I didn't make anything spectacular this month. I need to step up in September and make something good.
7) The last place I ate out: A and W, only because they are the only fast food place in the town, not because I particularly like them. I asked for a teen burger with no onion but I think she requested EXTRA onion. raw onion - gag.
8.) Something that made me cry: When the BBQ rolled over my foot (and by BBQ I mean HUGE school BBQ) I think I shed a tear or two.
9) Something that made me laugh or gasp: I laughed with Max this month and we tickled and chased one another in the yard.
10) Something I looked forward to this month: I looked forward to school starting.
11) Something I am thankful for: My family.
12) Something I want to remember about this month: Max was running through the hallway and he knocked a large book off the shelf and onto his foot. My spouse asked him if he was ok and if he needed a kiss. He brought the book over for her to kiss.
13) A photo I took this month: Playing in the dirt pile.
Monday, August 31, 2009
I can still turn a room dead silent
On Saturday we took Max for a haircut. I happen to really like his hair when it gets a little longer, but he i s having ear surgery on the 10th and we want as few obstacles as possible following the surgery and we decided to get his hair shaved.
We have taken him to the same barber since the very first haircut he received and went back again this time. I don't know WHY we keep going to this guy...anyway.
I hold Max's head while he is getting his hair cut and usually I am alone with him. This time I was there with the spouse and C-note (who I also think should have had a haircut since he is sporting a baby mullet but the spouse vetoed me). While we were there a family with three kids came in and sat down by us as we waited and we started talking to the mother. We had a little bonding moment over kids with problem ears and she shared some of her experiences with two kids needing surgery and some of the things she did, how they reacted, and so on. We all had a lovely conversation. Then it was Max's turn to get his haircut. So I am holding his head, my spouse is taking pictures (shocker, I know!) and the other kids and mom are still talking to us, saying how good Max is doing, and so on.
And then the bomb dropped. The barber asked which one of us was Max's mother. I say without ANY hesitation at all that he belongs to both of us... and the room went DEAD silent.
Did you know it is possible for a barber razor to make absolutely no noise? Cause I swear even the razor was shocked, and that lovely little bond we had made with the lady and her kids. If she could have shuttled them out and away from us she would have, but instead they all averted their eyes and sat in silence while crickets chirped until Maxies hair was done and we removed our sinful selves from that holy barber shop.
I love it that I can still turn a whole room dead silent (the crickets don't seem to care we are lesbos!)
We have taken him to the same barber since the very first haircut he received and went back again this time. I don't know WHY we keep going to this guy...anyway.
I hold Max's head while he is getting his hair cut and usually I am alone with him. This time I was there with the spouse and C-note (who I also think should have had a haircut since he is sporting a baby mullet but the spouse vetoed me). While we were there a family with three kids came in and sat down by us as we waited and we started talking to the mother. We had a little bonding moment over kids with problem ears and she shared some of her experiences with two kids needing surgery and some of the things she did, how they reacted, and so on. We all had a lovely conversation. Then it was Max's turn to get his haircut. So I am holding his head, my spouse is taking pictures (shocker, I know!) and the other kids and mom are still talking to us, saying how good Max is doing, and so on.
And then the bomb dropped. The barber asked which one of us was Max's mother. I say without ANY hesitation at all that he belongs to both of us... and the room went DEAD silent.
Did you know it is possible for a barber razor to make absolutely no noise? Cause I swear even the razor was shocked, and that lovely little bond we had made with the lady and her kids. If she could have shuttled them out and away from us she would have, but instead they all averted their eyes and sat in silence while crickets chirped until Maxies hair was done and we removed our sinful selves from that holy barber shop.
I love it that I can still turn a whole room dead silent (the crickets don't seem to care we are lesbos!)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Dirt Pile
I suppose "ordinary" people, if all of a sudden one day a pile of dirt was dumped in their yard would make inquiries as to where it came from and what it was doing in their yard. We didn't order any dirt. We certainly didn't expect any dirt. So what did we do when dirt was mysteriously dumped in our yard? We decided to let the kids play in it to their hearts content!Max will play literally for HOURS pushing things up and then down and then up again - as long as we are close by.
I suppose I should try to find out if it is supposed to be some other place. If not I can really use it to fill some spots in the driveway but I need to do something pretty quick because the weather is changing and I don't want this in the driveway over the winter. In the meantime we will keep playing!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
a hill to die on
I have worked in the same location for a number of years. I am currently beginning the 6th year here. In the time I have spent in this location I have had four different supervisors, four different titles and worked out of three different offices all within 10 feet of one another. I have also worked for three different schools and gone through two "take-overs".
I can honestly say I have learned something from every one of my supervisors, but I won't say whether it has been bad or good!
I just want to say this...
I had one supervisor who would say to me whenever I brought something up "Is that the hill you want to die on?" So the message I got was that there were some things worth "dying" for and other things not worth dying for and it was up to me to decide my fate. In the course of working under this person and in retrospect, I totally quit "fighting" for anything. I just took the word that everything would be a battle and that nothing was worth it and essentially "gave up" before I even started. I would have to say that this is COMPLETELY not my personality. I am a fighter. I am a fighter sometimes beyond what others would consider is logical. I am not a quitter. I usually stick with something until I get results. Sometimes I failed, and sometimes I didn't, but in every instance I walked away believing that I had done all I could to make a difference and I had no regrets.
Working under this supervisor was stifling and even my spouse would say to me that I was not being "myself" at work and that I had completely changed since coming to this job. It was something that was reinforced by supervisors later and I felt as though I really folded in on myself and was unable to get anything done or have a say in what was happening to and around the department which I was supposedly responsible for.
This summer we went through yet another change. The second takeover, my fourth supervisor, and things seemed as though they were headed downhill fast. I wondered how it was possible for things to get worse than they were and although I LOVE my job, I was beginning to be resentful and very unhappy. Things were being presented to me and I was just accepting what I was being told. saying I didn't like it, but not doing anything about it and in every instance thinking "Is this the hill I want to die on?"
Then came the clincher. Something was "told" to me that directly affected the operations of the office and it was something that would impact me in a way that would almost make the work unbearable. I decided - after first accepting the change- that it was a hill I WAS willing to die on and I went to fight for something I believed in.
So the end result was this... The thing I stick my foot down on was something that was resolved in a way that was pleasing to me and ..... THERE WAS NO BATTLE! Let me say it again.... THERE WAS NO BATTLE!
I stood up for something I believed in. I gathered information to support my position. I presented the information and in 24 hours was told that things as I had presented were acceptable. What is striking to me as I sit here right now is that if I had NOT gone back to present this information, the loss to me would have been significant. There would have been no battle, but there would have been loss and casualties in my department. So I have learned, or RE-learned, that there are some things worth sticking up for, and there need not be any loss over asking or presenting options. Though I am sad it has taken me this long to relearn this principle, I am very happy to be where I am today, with the learning that came out of this interaction. Rest assured it will make a big difference for me in the future, and hopefully for my state of mind and stress level also!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
no tattoo
I was so very excited to get a tattoo this weekend and it all fell apart. So here I sit, less $40.00 of a deposit which was not refunded to me, but happy that I didn't accept what was offered and that I walked away.
I don't begrudge anyone trying to make money. It was pretty obvious to me after going to see the tattooist a few times over the past few days that he was here in town to bust out as many tattoos as he could over the weekend. I have no problem with that. Do business. Make money. But if you are putting something onto my body that is going to last longer than I will live, then make it good. I have no problem paying for it either. I will pay what it is worth, but again - it's MY body. I want it to be decent art.
It took a few return visits to nail down an appointment, then I went to him with some art of things I was interested in, then I went when my appointment was scheduled and he was running behind so I left and went back - twice. By the time I sat down in the chair I had been to his trailer more than 5 times.
I had decided before I arrived I wanted to have it on my left arm and not my right. When I went in and told him, he was a little agitated with me which immediately sent up red flags in my mind.
I don't understand why some tattooists (I have dealt with two of them personally) get upset over someone wanting something different than what has been presented. It is PERMANENT. I am PAYING for it. You are a contractor, hired by me, to put something I want onto MY body. Why are you irritated I when I want to make adjustments?
So he showed me what he had drawn (?) I am using the word "drawn" very loosely here. Yesterday when I took his some art he basically traced one of the pictures I had taken to him and it was the least impressive of all the ones I took. I didn't like it but tried to convince myself maybe when it was on my arm I might like it more. He put the stencil on my arm and I looked at it in the mirror and STILL didn't like it. I sat down in the chair and he showed me the needles and stuff were all sterile and the whole time I was thinking - BACK OUT NOW. I tried to convince myself I would like it as he got going. He asked if I minded if he went to the bathroom before we started. He went to the bathroom, re-gloved with sterile gloves and I got up the nerve to say "no".
I don't know what my issue is. I have NO problem sticking up for things. I have been known, in fact, to stick up for things to a point beyond which is reasonable or smart. I can dig my heels in and fight for something tooth and nail, and yet sometimes I have a very hard time sticking up for myself. I don't understand it completely, but right now I am completely and utterly relieved and happy that I stood my ground, and walked away without my tattoo. Losing the deposit is a bit of a pain - but whatever. I don't have an ugly black blob on my arm.
I will wait until I can get what I want, by someone I consider to be an artist, and I will be happy with the end result.
I don't begrudge anyone trying to make money. It was pretty obvious to me after going to see the tattooist a few times over the past few days that he was here in town to bust out as many tattoos as he could over the weekend. I have no problem with that. Do business. Make money. But if you are putting something onto my body that is going to last longer than I will live, then make it good. I have no problem paying for it either. I will pay what it is worth, but again - it's MY body. I want it to be decent art.
It took a few return visits to nail down an appointment, then I went to him with some art of things I was interested in, then I went when my appointment was scheduled and he was running behind so I left and went back - twice. By the time I sat down in the chair I had been to his trailer more than 5 times.
I had decided before I arrived I wanted to have it on my left arm and not my right. When I went in and told him, he was a little agitated with me which immediately sent up red flags in my mind.
I don't understand why some tattooists (I have dealt with two of them personally) get upset over someone wanting something different than what has been presented. It is PERMANENT. I am PAYING for it. You are a contractor, hired by me, to put something I want onto MY body. Why are you irritated I when I want to make adjustments?
So he showed me what he had drawn (?) I am using the word "drawn" very loosely here. Yesterday when I took his some art he basically traced one of the pictures I had taken to him and it was the least impressive of all the ones I took. I didn't like it but tried to convince myself maybe when it was on my arm I might like it more. He put the stencil on my arm and I looked at it in the mirror and STILL didn't like it. I sat down in the chair and he showed me the needles and stuff were all sterile and the whole time I was thinking - BACK OUT NOW. I tried to convince myself I would like it as he got going. He asked if I minded if he went to the bathroom before we started. He went to the bathroom, re-gloved with sterile gloves and I got up the nerve to say "no".
I don't know what my issue is. I have NO problem sticking up for things. I have been known, in fact, to stick up for things to a point beyond which is reasonable or smart. I can dig my heels in and fight for something tooth and nail, and yet sometimes I have a very hard time sticking up for myself. I don't understand it completely, but right now I am completely and utterly relieved and happy that I stood my ground, and walked away without my tattoo. Losing the deposit is a bit of a pain - but whatever. I don't have an ugly black blob on my arm.
I will wait until I can get what I want, by someone I consider to be an artist, and I will be happy with the end result.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Farewell to summer
In exactly 3 minutes from now my summer at work is officially over. At the end of work today the fall has begun and I will be BACK to working weekends to check students in - beginning this Sunday.
I am so sad, I need a moment of silence for myself.
(moment of silence)
I think to celebrate the passing of the summer I will get a tattoo tomorrow. When I was driving to work today I saw a guy in his camper set up in the vacant lot next to the video store to do tattoo's. It seems a little suspect doesn't it? A tattoo from a gypsy? I LOVE it!
I stopped by the camper at lunch and took a look at his book of pictures and got his card. He actually has a LEGIT store in another town and is just out checking out the town and seeing if he can drum up some business. My spouse and I have wanted matching tatt's for a while, so if I can convince her to come down with me tomorrow then we will get tattooed in town. I am excited.
I think if I start out the year getting a new tattoo then maybe I will set a tone for the rest of my school year :) Now to convince the spouse.....
I am so sad, I need a moment of silence for myself.
(moment of silence)
I think to celebrate the passing of the summer I will get a tattoo tomorrow. When I was driving to work today I saw a guy in his camper set up in the vacant lot next to the video store to do tattoo's. It seems a little suspect doesn't it? A tattoo from a gypsy? I LOVE it!
I stopped by the camper at lunch and took a look at his book of pictures and got his card. He actually has a LEGIT store in another town and is just out checking out the town and seeing if he can drum up some business. My spouse and I have wanted matching tatt's for a while, so if I can convince her to come down with me tomorrow then we will get tattooed in town. I am excited.
I think if I start out the year getting a new tattoo then maybe I will set a tone for the rest of my school year :) Now to convince the spouse.....
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Important things
I believe that we make time in life for the things that are important to us. This is why I get SOOO frustrated a few times a year when all the things that I believe are important to me seem to get less and less of my time as I am spending time doing "other" things.
For this week and for the foreseeable future I am so busy at work that I don't see the cycle ending anytime soon. I have even started draft blogs about seven different times and have not finished any of them because I have not had the time I feel I need to write what I WANT to.
The thing for me about believing in things is that sometimes my beliefs come into conflict when it comes time to act on the belief. I believe that what is important to me will be reflected in how I will spend my time. I also believe that it is better to do a good job than to do a job poorly and have to do it again. I also believe that the details ARE important. I believe my kids are growing up too fast and I am missing time with them that I can never replace. Max called me today on the phone and Shel said he was signing me a story! (The surgery for his hearing is scheduled for September 10 and we hope beyond hope it will change his life for the better)
... this post almost took a segue there and turned into something I was not intending but which I can write about later. My point in posting this at all was to say that I am frustrated I have not posted recently. I feel like I have lots to write about and not enough time to do it.
Oh well. Perhaps I can save some of these ideas for a rainy day?
For this week and for the foreseeable future I am so busy at work that I don't see the cycle ending anytime soon. I have even started draft blogs about seven different times and have not finished any of them because I have not had the time I feel I need to write what I WANT to.
The thing for me about believing in things is that sometimes my beliefs come into conflict when it comes time to act on the belief. I believe that what is important to me will be reflected in how I will spend my time. I also believe that it is better to do a good job than to do a job poorly and have to do it again. I also believe that the details ARE important. I believe my kids are growing up too fast and I am missing time with them that I can never replace. Max called me today on the phone and Shel said he was signing me a story! (The surgery for his hearing is scheduled for September 10 and we hope beyond hope it will change his life for the better)
... this post almost took a segue there and turned into something I was not intending but which I can write about later. My point in posting this at all was to say that I am frustrated I have not posted recently. I feel like I have lots to write about and not enough time to do it.
Oh well. Perhaps I can save some of these ideas for a rainy day?
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
the purpose of a book
For the last few weeks I have been VERY bad at not working on my thesis (which I KNOW I should do because I could potentially get LOADS done in the summer months). Having said that, I am thoroughly enjoying the time I am taking to read NOVELS. This last weekend I read three books and it felt GREAT. I can't wait for school to be finished for me so I can go back to reading without guilt.
When I read a book one of the purposes it serves for me is to take my mind out of my reality and immerse me in a completely different reality. Unfortunately sometimes the book just doesn't have enough to captivate my attention - or my reality is too overpowering!
This is especially disappointing to me when I need it the most. For some reason it has happened to me this week. I finished a book on Sunday night and tried to start a new one last night. No matter how much I tried to read I just could not escape thoughts of my daily life and it was a real pain. No matter how much I tried I could not transition from the stress of my day and as a result I was up really late - thinking about work.
I HATE it when that happens!
I obviously need something more captivating to read. Does anyone have any suggestions?
When I read a book one of the purposes it serves for me is to take my mind out of my reality and immerse me in a completely different reality. Unfortunately sometimes the book just doesn't have enough to captivate my attention - or my reality is too overpowering!
This is especially disappointing to me when I need it the most. For some reason it has happened to me this week. I finished a book on Sunday night and tried to start a new one last night. No matter how much I tried to read I just could not escape thoughts of my daily life and it was a real pain. No matter how much I tried I could not transition from the stress of my day and as a result I was up really late - thinking about work.
I HATE it when that happens!
I obviously need something more captivating to read. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Monday, August 10, 2009
hotel reservations
I called ahead to get a hotel reservation in a hotel which was recommended to us because of it's proximity to the children's hospital and because the suites had kitchens - which we absolutely NEED with a child with special health needs. When I called and made the booking I reserved a room on the 21st floor thinking that it would be TOTALLY cool for the family to stay so high up and see the city from there. When I got home and told the spousal unit what I had done she promptly informed me that she would NEVER stay in a room higher than the 5th floor (that's how high the fire truck ladders can go, if you didn't know) and so I called back, gave my reservation number and changed our reservation to the fifth floor. (When I called and gave my last name the lady said "Is this ....?" and gave my mothers name. It was totally bizarre, my mom lives in a completely different country and to my knowledge has never stayed in one of these hotels. I told her that no, it wasn't and I gave my name and reservation number and she found my reservation without a problem.)
After our VERY long car trip, we arrived and went to check in, and surprise! There was no reservation for us, not under my name and not under my reservation number. (now that I think of it I should have asked if my mom had a reservation!)They were able to fit us in "anyway" and we were able to get a room on the fifth floor. So we checked in. We were also able to get two playpens from the hotel so we could put the boys to bed, and we brought everything up from the van. (I don't know how we forgot our own playpens, but we did!)
Well the boys did NOT go to bed, they were up till all kinds of crazy hours in the night and then up again at the butt crack of dawn. They played peek a boo with one another between playpens. They think they are hilarious.
I did manage to get a photo out of the door of the room. We have a balcony but we are NOT permitted onto it! We managed to get some things done today which I will blog about tomorrow.
Having internet in the evenings is AWESOME!!!!
the first 76 km
We are in the "city" for an appointment a the children's hospital for my boy. We decided to come a day early and do some things we don't otherwise have the opportunity to do - like go to the zoo - with the boys.
Traveling with Max has been a challenge since the say he was picked up from the hospital and this trip was no different. I said to my spouse we were in for one hell of a trip when we had travelled 76 kilometers from our home and had stopped twice already! I was right. A trip that should have taken us 5 hours took us more than 8!
But we made it in one piece and here we are.
Traveling with Max has been a challenge since the say he was picked up from the hospital and this trip was no different. I said to my spouse we were in for one hell of a trip when we had travelled 76 kilometers from our home and had stopped twice already! I was right. A trip that should have taken us 5 hours took us more than 8!
But we made it in one piece and here we are.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Book: Paths of Glory
I have been taking a hiatus from working on my thesis (which I KNOW I should NOT be doing) but I wanted desperately to just read some books that I WANTED to read as opposed to NEEDED to read.
My Spouse and I went to the library last week when we were in town and took out a pile of books each. I have been making my way through my pile, and picked up Jeffrey Archer's book Paths of Glory. Now I have pretty strong feelings about historical fiction (don't like it) and books on mountaineering (don't like them) and on climbing Everest... in fact it is Everest that I think I very first blogged about ever in May 2006. When I picked up the book I did so because I like Jeffrey Archer and I thought I would try it out, but I didn't even read the book cover to find out what the book was about. When we got home and I picked it up and started to read I thought honestly that I was about to be supremely disappointed because the book is a historical fiction book about climbing Mount Everest.
Boy was I ever surprised. I loved the book from the moment I picked it up. I have barely been able to put it down. I read late into the night when I started it and even after turning out the light and rolling over I decided to read some more! Last night I didn't get to read any because it was my night with the boys and C-Note was being a stinker (and I like to hold him anyway!)
I could not resist bringing the book with me to work today and sneaking in some reading.
Let me just say it is VERY difficult for me to read at work. Even things that pertain to work are difficult for me to get into because of constant interruptions. IN spite of this I made it to the end of the book and I'll be honest, the last sentence of the book gave me goosebumps.
Perhaps I am too much of a romantic, but I LOVED this book. It was so fantastic I think I might get one for my "own" library.
I liked it so much I am hesitant to recommend it to anyone for fear they don't find it as captivating as I did. I am still shocked that I started to read it but so very glad that I did.
My only problem now is what to follow it up with?
My Spouse and I went to the library last week when we were in town and took out a pile of books each. I have been making my way through my pile, and picked up Jeffrey Archer's book Paths of Glory. Now I have pretty strong feelings about historical fiction (don't like it) and books on mountaineering (don't like them) and on climbing Everest... in fact it is Everest that I think I very first blogged about ever in May 2006. When I picked up the book I did so because I like Jeffrey Archer and I thought I would try it out, but I didn't even read the book cover to find out what the book was about. When we got home and I picked it up and started to read I thought honestly that I was about to be supremely disappointed because the book is a historical fiction book about climbing Mount Everest.
Boy was I ever surprised. I loved the book from the moment I picked it up. I have barely been able to put it down. I read late into the night when I started it and even after turning out the light and rolling over I decided to read some more! Last night I didn't get to read any because it was my night with the boys and C-Note was being a stinker (and I like to hold him anyway!)
I could not resist bringing the book with me to work today and sneaking in some reading.
Let me just say it is VERY difficult for me to read at work. Even things that pertain to work are difficult for me to get into because of constant interruptions. IN spite of this I made it to the end of the book and I'll be honest, the last sentence of the book gave me goosebumps.
Perhaps I am too much of a romantic, but I LOVED this book. It was so fantastic I think I might get one for my "own" library.
I liked it so much I am hesitant to recommend it to anyone for fear they don't find it as captivating as I did. I am still shocked that I started to read it but so very glad that I did.
My only problem now is what to follow it up with?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
letter to Max: 34 months
Hey there my number one man.Wow it has been TOOO long since I have taken a moment to sit down and write to you. I cannot believe that in just over a month you will be three years old already. It feels like yesterday that I saw you for the first time in the hospital crib all alone and waiting for us to come and give you all our love.
You are growing so tall, you are like a weed and I can't get over how beautiful you are. Your personality grows more and more every day, you are growing into such a wonderful young boy. You mom and I were talking the other day about all of the obstacles you have overcome in your short life. You are such a miracle to us.
For as much as your mom has the camera in her hand and takes pictures of our daily life she missed getting a remarkable photo of you the other day when we were playing with the water hose. You had the water turned on but I was kinking the hose so nothing came out. I was trying to get you to look into the hose so I could squirt you but you caught on way too quickly and you gave me a look and pointed at me and smiled and my heart took a picture of that moment that will stay with me forever. You have such a glint in your eye and you are such a tease, I should not be surprised that you figured out I was playing with you in that moment.
I laugh at your mom, she is still so fiercely protective of you. The other day at the daycare someone said that you were "grunting" and your mom almost hit the roof! Since we discovered that you have so many hearing problems we have been working on you with your sign language and you learn faster than we do! You have absolutely NO problem communicating with us and it was offensive to have someone say that you "grunted" when so clearly you are saying something!
I know we have a long way to go and lots to look forward to with surgeries and other things which we hope will help your hearing, but in the meantime we are making our way in the world teaching you to sign and learning the signs you have made up to interpret the world around you. You are so smart it is evident to us everyday as you make your way through this world.
I just got off the phone with your mom, you are working hard as always. You have had lots of fun watching the big machinery all around the property as they clean things up and move things around. The other evening you and I sat together on the porch for close to an hour watching the CAT move the big grain bins across the yard. The driver offered to take you for a ride but you wanted no part of it! You are still a little shy around others, but it's ok with me, you can hang out with me forever if you want!
Recently you have been incredibly helpful with your little brother. You teach him things and help him get around. We have to work a little on the "sharing" part, but you are just trying to keep him safe and it is evident! He adores you and watching the two of you interact makes us smile.
Well my buddy, I need to go so I can stop at the store and pick some stuff up for you.
I love you SOOOO much.
Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.
love mom.
meme again! Books this time.
I really need to thank Popping Bubbles, without whom there would be two less postings on this blog this week already. I am such a thief. And I apologise in advance for the stupid spacing on this post, I have tried to fix it twice and it still posts wierd. SORRY!
Popping Bubbles got this one from Canned Laughter.
I love love love love love reading and books and so I thought I would give this meme a shot. We'll see how it goes.
1) What author do you own the most books by?
I own a LOT of Enid Blyton books, thanks to my parents who helped to indulge my children's book buying "thing".
2) What book do you own the most copies of?
I try not to own too many copies of anything, if I do it is accidental. I think we have Tara Road by Maeve Binchy that I buy whenever I see it thinking I want to read it and then it turns out I have.
3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions? Not so much until I re-read them!
5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
Wow. I have read a lot of books over and over again. The one I like to read the most is probably To Kill A Mockingbird.
6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Shoot. I don't even know what country I was in when I was ten... Let's see. I was starting to read the classics then - my nan bought me Great Expectations which I loved.
7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year? Here is my dilemma with books. I have SUCH a hard time putting something down when I have started it, even if I hate it and it takes me SOOO long to finish when I should just put it down and read something I want, something better. The worst book I read was the one by Jenny McCarthy - about her son and autism. It was HORRIBLY written and she should have just paid someone else to write it for her and spared the pain of the rest of us who slogged through it.
8 ) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year? I would say it has been Middlesex and I hope I read it in the past year - if not then it has been the past 18 months anyway.
9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
I am not tagging anyone, but if I were I would have a LOT of difficulty thinking of just one book to recommend. ONE?! REALLY!? I think everyone should read the Bible. For real. So they know what it is about.
What happened to number ten?
11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I have never seen a book I liked made into a movie that is comparable. It would be cool to maybe see an animated version of the Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton.
12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
They have pretty much been done already haven't they - and all done horribly. I would say Middlesex because Hollywood slaughtered Running with Scissors.
13) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
Lowbrow? What is considered Lowbrow? I read lots of mass produced paperbacks, so I probably read lots of lowbrow books. LOL.
14) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
I would say Atlas Shrugged. I got through the first 3/4 easily and then something happened and finishing was painful.
15) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Probably the French
16) Roth or Updike? Updike
17) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers? Haven't read either! ack!
18) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Not Milton. I love Shakespeare but I enjoy Chaucer also. I can't say honestly that I pick up either of them for a "fun read".
19) Austen or Eliot? Austen.
20) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Being in school and having babies has created gaps in the kind of reading I LIKE to do, but I read pretty much everyday.
21) What is your favorite novel? I have lots that I like. I like Alvin Maker by Orson Scott Card and I like The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. This question is way too hard.
22) Essay? I don't really read essays except for class and I am not pulling out my class notes to find one to recommend!
23) Work of nonfiction? Hmn. I am looking forward to reading an autobiography of Jane Goodall which I have high hopes for. I enjoyed Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and I have been on a bit of a kick reading about boy soldiers from Africa.
24) Who is your favorite writer? Probably Orson Scott Card is up there, but also Wilbur Smith.
25) What is your desert island book? I might take Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches Trilogy and give them a re-read.
26) What are you reading right now? Oh something by George Pelecanos that I picked up at the Library last week. I just finished Portobello by Ruth Rendell.
27) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
28 ) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Someone may shoot me for saying this but I am going to say J.K. Rowling. I think she actually convinced people to read that would not have otherwise done so. I don't know of anyone else who has written someone that got "non-readers" to say - "Hey I should pick up that book". But parents read to kids and kids read and I think it created readers.
29) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I can't recall a dream involving books or characters or writers.
30) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen? We went to the Shakespeare festival in Cedar City and we didn't see a Shakespeare play! I haven't really seen an obscure one.
31) Favorite Poem? Emily Dickinson
It dropped so low in my Regard
I heard it hit the Ground
And go to pieces on the Stones
At bottom of my Mind
Yet blamed the Fate that flung it less
Than I denounced Myself,
For entertaining Plated Wares
Upon my Silver Shelf
32) Favorite Short story? I am not really a Short story fan, but one that has stuck with me forever is The Lottery by Shirley Jackson
33) Who is the most overrated writer alive today? Oh, I don't know. Dan Brown? Salman Rushdie?
Popping Bubbles got this one from Canned Laughter.
I love love love love love reading and books and so I thought I would give this meme a shot. We'll see how it goes.
1) What author do you own the most books by?
I own a LOT of Enid Blyton books, thanks to my parents who helped to indulge my children's book buying "thing".
2) What book do you own the most copies of?
I try not to own too many copies of anything, if I do it is accidental. I think we have Tara Road by Maeve Binchy that I buy whenever I see it thinking I want to read it and then it turns out I have.
3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions? Not so much until I re-read them!
5) What book have you read the most times in your life?
Wow. I have read a lot of books over and over again. The one I like to read the most is probably To Kill A Mockingbird.
6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
Shoot. I don't even know what country I was in when I was ten... Let's see. I was starting to read the classics then - my nan bought me Great Expectations which I loved.
7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year? Here is my dilemma with books. I have SUCH a hard time putting something down when I have started it, even if I hate it and it takes me SOOO long to finish when I should just put it down and read something I want, something better. The worst book I read was the one by Jenny McCarthy - about her son and autism. It was HORRIBLY written and she should have just paid someone else to write it for her and spared the pain of the rest of us who slogged through it.
8 ) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year? I would say it has been Middlesex and I hope I read it in the past year - if not then it has been the past 18 months anyway.
9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
I am not tagging anyone, but if I were I would have a LOT of difficulty thinking of just one book to recommend. ONE?! REALLY!? I think everyone should read the Bible. For real. So they know what it is about.
What happened to number ten?
11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I have never seen a book I liked made into a movie that is comparable. It would be cool to maybe see an animated version of the Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton.
12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
They have pretty much been done already haven't they - and all done horribly. I would say Middlesex because Hollywood slaughtered Running with Scissors.
13) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
Lowbrow? What is considered Lowbrow? I read lots of mass produced paperbacks, so I probably read lots of lowbrow books. LOL.
14) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
I would say Atlas Shrugged. I got through the first 3/4 easily and then something happened and finishing was painful.
15) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
Probably the French
16) Roth or Updike? Updike
17) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers? Haven't read either! ack!
18) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
Not Milton. I love Shakespeare but I enjoy Chaucer also. I can't say honestly that I pick up either of them for a "fun read".
19) Austen or Eliot? Austen.
20) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Being in school and having babies has created gaps in the kind of reading I LIKE to do, but I read pretty much everyday.
21) What is your favorite novel? I have lots that I like. I like Alvin Maker by Orson Scott Card and I like The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. This question is way too hard.
22) Essay? I don't really read essays except for class and I am not pulling out my class notes to find one to recommend!
23) Work of nonfiction? Hmn. I am looking forward to reading an autobiography of Jane Goodall which I have high hopes for. I enjoyed Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and I have been on a bit of a kick reading about boy soldiers from Africa.
24) Who is your favorite writer? Probably Orson Scott Card is up there, but also Wilbur Smith.
25) What is your desert island book? I might take Anne Rice's Mayfair Witches Trilogy and give them a re-read.
26) What are you reading right now? Oh something by George Pelecanos that I picked up at the Library last week. I just finished Portobello by Ruth Rendell.
27) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
28 ) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Someone may shoot me for saying this but I am going to say J.K. Rowling. I think she actually convinced people to read that would not have otherwise done so. I don't know of anyone else who has written someone that got "non-readers" to say - "Hey I should pick up that book". But parents read to kids and kids read and I think it created readers.
29) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.
I can't recall a dream involving books or characters or writers.
30) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen? We went to the Shakespeare festival in Cedar City and we didn't see a Shakespeare play! I haven't really seen an obscure one.
31) Favorite Poem? Emily Dickinson
It dropped so low in my Regard
I heard it hit the Ground
And go to pieces on the Stones
At bottom of my Mind
Yet blamed the Fate that flung it less
Than I denounced Myself,
For entertaining Plated Wares
Upon my Silver Shelf
32) Favorite Short story? I am not really a Short story fan, but one that has stuck with me forever is The Lottery by Shirley Jackson
33) Who is the most overrated writer alive today? Oh, I don't know. Dan Brown? Salman Rushdie?
Meme ... musical meme
It’s a musical meme stolen from Popping Bubbles who took it from Citizen Janey.
1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?I would have to say I own a lot of Indigo Girls.... yeah, that's it.
2. What was the last song you listened to?
Uhhhh. Usually I am listening to music in my office but today I have the mute button on so I can talk to R in the other office. So.. the last song I listened to was on the radio on my way to work and what the hey was it.......The Magic Touch by the Platters.
3. What’s in your record/cd player right now?
Well, since I don't have a CD player....
4. What song would you say sums you up?
I would say that the song that sums me up would have to be....You Learn, by Alanis Morissette.
5. What was the last show you attended?
I think the last concert we went to was in Utah when we lived there ....WAYYYY too long ago.... and I am pretty sure it was IG
6. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
I like most live music.... I would LOVE to see U2 in Vegas this year...
7. What’s the worst band you’ve ever seen in concert?
So the worst live music I have ever heard was Wilson Phillips and they were DREADFUL. PAINFUL. HORRENDOUS. GAG-O-RIFIC.
8. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I have always been an INXS fan, but I LOATHE J.D. Fortune.
9. What show are you looking forward to?
U2 in Vegas. I have no tickets though. so I hope I win some on the radio or someone gives me some?
10. What is your favorite band shirt?
Finger 11
11. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Rob Thomas
12. What musician would you like to be in love with for a day?
Rob Thomas, but I am already in love with him so I would like him to be in love with ME for one day....
13. Sabbath or solo Ozzy? Sabbath
14. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie? Commodores
15. Punk rock, hip hop or heavy metal? Hip Hop
16. Name four flawless albums: 1. Indigo Girls: Despite our Differences. 2. Dixie Chicks: Taking the Long Way. 3. Sting: Fields of Gold. 4. Leahy: Leahy
17. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek? What? I resent being called a geek.
18. What was the greatest decade for music? Well, I didn't like the 70's much at all. I liked the 80's most, but 90's were pretty good and I am a sucker for the Andrews Sisters of the 40's and 50's.
19. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own? None. I don't buy DVD's ever.
20. Do you like Journey? Sure. I listen to the CD in the van and sing at the top of my lungs. Who doesn't?
21. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? uhhhhh.....definitely NOT Armageddon. One f my favorites of all time is the City Of Angels Soundtrack.
22. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
23. What’s the crappiest CD/record/etc. you’ve ever bought? I have two... The first one we bought at a truck stop thinking it was the Beatles, but it was "Country Stars sing the Beatles." Unfortunately it was no country star I ever heard of and the Beatles songs remixed to country SUCKED. The second was a Christmas Album - of which I have many, many, many, but I do not recommend Gloria Estevan Christmas album to anyone. Ever.
29. Do you prefer vinyl or CDs? I LOVE vinyl. I have no record player however which males listening to vinyl a little difficult.
1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?I would have to say I own a lot of Indigo Girls.... yeah, that's it.
2. What was the last song you listened to?
Uhhhh. Usually I am listening to music in my office but today I have the mute button on so I can talk to R in the other office. So.. the last song I listened to was on the radio on my way to work and what the hey was it.......The Magic Touch by the Platters.
3. What’s in your record/cd player right now?
Well, since I don't have a CD player....
4. What song would you say sums you up?
I would say that the song that sums me up would have to be....You Learn, by Alanis Morissette.
5. What was the last show you attended?
I think the last concert we went to was in Utah when we lived there ....WAYYYY too long ago.... and I am pretty sure it was IG
6. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
I like most live music.... I would LOVE to see U2 in Vegas this year...
7. What’s the worst band you’ve ever seen in concert?
So the worst live music I have ever heard was Wilson Phillips and they were DREADFUL. PAINFUL. HORRENDOUS. GAG-O-RIFIC.
8. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I have always been an INXS fan, but I LOATHE J.D. Fortune.
9. What show are you looking forward to?
U2 in Vegas. I have no tickets though. so I hope I win some on the radio or someone gives me some?
10. What is your favorite band shirt?
Finger 11
11. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Rob Thomas
12. What musician would you like to be in love with for a day?
Rob Thomas, but I am already in love with him so I would like him to be in love with ME for one day....
13. Sabbath or solo Ozzy? Sabbath
14. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie? Commodores
15. Punk rock, hip hop or heavy metal? Hip Hop
16. Name four flawless albums: 1. Indigo Girls: Despite our Differences. 2. Dixie Chicks: Taking the Long Way. 3. Sting: Fields of Gold. 4. Leahy: Leahy
17. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek? What? I resent being called a geek.
18. What was the greatest decade for music? Well, I didn't like the 70's much at all. I liked the 80's most, but 90's were pretty good and I am a sucker for the Andrews Sisters of the 40's and 50's.
19. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own? None. I don't buy DVD's ever.
20. Do you like Journey? Sure. I listen to the CD in the van and sing at the top of my lungs. Who doesn't?
21. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? uhhhhh.....definitely NOT Armageddon. One f my favorites of all time is the City Of Angels Soundtrack.
22. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Beatles
23. What’s the crappiest CD/record/etc. you’ve ever bought? I have two... The first one we bought at a truck stop thinking it was the Beatles, but it was "Country Stars sing the Beatles." Unfortunately it was no country star I ever heard of and the Beatles songs remixed to country SUCKED. The second was a Christmas Album - of which I have many, many, many, but I do not recommend Gloria Estevan Christmas album to anyone. Ever.
29. Do you prefer vinyl or CDs? I LOVE vinyl. I have no record player however which males listening to vinyl a little difficult.
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