no tattoo

I was so very excited to get a tattoo this weekend and it all fell apart. So here I sit, less $40.00 of a deposit which was not refunded to me, but happy that I didn't accept what was offered and that I walked away.
I don't begrudge anyone trying to make money. It was pretty obvious to me after going to see the tattooist a few times over the past few days that he was here in town to bust out as many tattoos as he could over the weekend. I have no problem with that. Do business. Make money. But if you are putting something onto my body that is going to last longer than I will live, then make it good. I have no problem paying for it either. I will pay what it is worth, but again - it's MY body. I want it to be decent art.
It took a few return visits to nail down an appointment, then I went to him with some art of things I was interested in, then I went when my appointment was scheduled and he was running behind so I left and went back - twice. By the time I sat down in the chair I had been to his trailer more than 5 times.
I had decided before I arrived I wanted to have it on my left arm and not my right. When I went in and told him, he was a little agitated with me which immediately sent up red flags in my mind.
I don't understand why some tattooists (I have dealt with two of them personally) get upset over someone wanting something different than what has been presented. It is PERMANENT. I am PAYING for it. You are a contractor, hired by me, to put something I want onto MY body. Why are you irritated I when I want to make adjustments?
So he showed me what he had drawn (?) I am using the word "drawn" very loosely here. Yesterday when I took his some art he basically traced one of the pictures I had taken to him and it was the least impressive of all the ones I took. I didn't like it but tried to convince myself maybe when it was on my arm I might like it more. He put the stencil on my arm and I looked at it in the mirror and STILL didn't like it. I sat down in the chair and he showed me the needles and stuff were all sterile and the whole time I was thinking - BACK OUT NOW. I tried to convince myself I would like it as he got going. He asked if I minded if he went to the bathroom before we started. He went to the bathroom, re-gloved with sterile gloves and I got up the nerve to say "no".
I don't know what my issue is. I have NO problem sticking up for things. I have been known, in fact, to stick up for things to a point beyond which is reasonable or smart. I can dig my heels in and fight for something tooth and nail, and yet sometimes I have a very hard time sticking up for myself. I don't understand it completely, but right now I am completely and utterly relieved and happy that I stood my ground, and walked away without my tattoo. Losing the deposit is a bit of a pain - but whatever. I don't have an ugly black blob on my arm.
I will wait until I can get what I want, by someone I consider to be an artist, and I will be happy with the end result.