Friday, January 2, 2009

Letter to C-Note 6 months

Dear baby,

Well you have been with us for 6 months now. You came to us when you were just a day old and not even five pounds. I can't believe 6 months has passed already.

The decision has pretty much been made that you will be leaving us. I am not in denial - I know it's coming, but I just want to cherish every day with you that we possibly can. I would be lying if I said I have fallen in love with anyone in the way I have fallen for you.

You are the happiest baby I have ever known. Granted it was a pain when you were so tiny to feed you so dang often. I don't do sleep deprivation well. But last night I was watching a movie and the theme song was "Big Yellow Taxi" (counting crows version and my personal favorite). ANYWAY, the lyrics go " don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone"... and I thought of you. You see. In this case I know EXACTLY what it is that I have and you aren't gone!

We have been foster parents now for five years. We have had many children come and go in our home and we have loved all of them (some more than others) but we have given all of them a piece of ourselves and we miss them when they leave. I can honestly say that I think our fostering days are done once you leave us. I have loved you so much and given my whole heart to you and I can't bear to do it all again.

No matter where you end up my baby, know that you were loved here first and most, and we didn't need to wait till you were gone to know exactly what a special person you are.


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