school rant

I keep trying to blog every single day and the universe is conspiring against me.
This month at nablopomo the theme is "home" and I thought I was on easy street because I could blog on the topic without thinking twice. Then yesterday at our house our little puppy had to be put to sleep and my blogging desires went out the window and I missed a day.

To be honest I don't really have blogging ambition right now but I would rather be doing anything than spending time alone with my thoughts - which have a tendency to spiral downwards out of control - or doing homework.

The night before the accident I was telling my SU (spousal unit) that I am completely unmotivated in my masters program right now. Partly it has to do with the fact it is the summer months and now that we have long days and sunshine and our own yard I am more interested in being outside than reading a book. I am having a ball when I get home from work and can spend time planting flowers, watering flowers or playing in the water with my kid.

Partly I am unmotivated because I am frustrated with my cohort and spending time IN class is really challenging me right now. I go every two weeks and sit in class for a LONG time. I sit in the same desk, next to the same people and listen to the same groups get up and present information in the same way.

This class has the potential to be a great learning opportunity for everyone, we have some intelligent people who could really get some great conversations going and maybe its because my heart isn't in it but I am severely uninterested. The class is about leadership. There is no leadership from the instructor and there are certainly no leaders among the group.

There is petty infighting among individuals in my class, some people are not talking to one another, other people making snide remarks to one another, some people want to talk just to hear themselves and it is completely irrelevant, and the homework seems more about making busy work than actually teaching us anything. I am not patient at the best of times and I am SOOOO done with this class I feel like walking away.

Tonight I could have done hours of preparation for a class presentation and an exam. I have a paper which is worth 20 percent of my final grade which I haven't turned in and havent even started. I have no desire to do any of it.

I don't remember a time when I have been in such a "school" slump. I usually love school, love the reading, love the writing, love the classroom, I even love lectures. I don't know what I'm going to do.