So day ONE is done.
Last night of course we could not sleep at all. The wind was howling and the dogs were whining because they needed to go out but as soon as we opened the door and they felt the cold blast they turned right around. OH HELL NO they were not going out in that! So back up the stairs we went where they whined some more. Then Hugo was in bed with Max and so that woke him up so they could play (at 3 am)... and that's pretty much how the night progressed for us.
This morning I got up and started to get the boys ready to drop off at the babysitter. I had to drop the boys, then drive Shel to the airport then come back to town and get to work. When I started the vehicle I could not believe the drifts that had blown in behind us. There was no WAY we were driving through those drifts, so back inside for me to get dressed for shovelling. I shovelled us out - the drifts were up to my thighs and I SHOULD have taken a photo but I was in work fast mode (which doesn't happen often). I shovelled for 40 minutes and got us out and got the boys to the babysitter just a few minutes late then made it BACK to the house to pack Shel and head out.
Of course, true to my spouse, (who is a homebody if I have ever seen one) , as soon as it is time for a trip she finds all KINDS of extraneous things to do - like look through photo albums... but I even managed to get her out the door on time!
We whipped to the airport as fast as one can whip in blustering winds and blowing snow and frigid temperatures and got her there on time only to discover that the flight was delayed. I guess they had some drifts to deal with also. I stopped at Timmies, turned right around and headed back to town to work.
Check in t work is now finished for the night. Shel's flight left, arrived in Edmonton, the shuttle arrived, and the check in to the hotel worked out.
Tomorrow is an early one for Shel - she departs to Seattle on leg one of the journey before 6 am. YIKES!
I am HOPING that at 6 am I will still be in bed, but knowing my sons it is not meant to be.
UNFORTUNATELY for this week ahead the temperatures are dropping off horribly and by Tuesday we expect temps below -30, so we will not be going outdoors for anything.
Monday there is no school so it's a hang out day for us which will be ok.
Only 9 more days until Shel gets back. I'm on my way to get the boys and head home.
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~ E.M. Forster
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
The end of a long day and the beginning of a long week
WOW. That was a LONG day.
A huge checkout at work and preparation for an intake on Sunday, at the same time as we had installation of new carpet in two of the common areas meant I had some juggling to do. When each student checks out I have to assess the room before the cleaners can move in and get the rooms ready.
Shel found her passport (WHEW!)
I loaded some books on the sony e-reader for her to take with her on her trip.
She leaves on Sunday so I have to take her to the airport, schedule someone to look after the boys and get back to work for the check in on Sunday afternoon. (These weekends we call "back to backs" and we have students leaving Friday and new groups arriving Sunday).
All the rooms are assessed and currently being cleaned. I have changed my voice mail and set an out of office reply on my email. I still have to book Shel a room in Edmonton for Sunday and in Wisconsin for next week, and call the airline to confirm her flight.
I have a list of things I still need to do at work next week so even though I have scheduled days off I have to come in and get some of these things crossed off the list. Next week we get the new carpet installed in the office. YAY!
I'm thinking I can leave in a minute or so but I have to make a list so the cleaners know what has to be finished tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm not even stopping at the grocery store on the way home tonight. I am BEAT. Shel picked up diapers this week so there is absolutely NOTHING we need that can't wait until tomorrow morning!
A huge checkout at work and preparation for an intake on Sunday, at the same time as we had installation of new carpet in two of the common areas meant I had some juggling to do. When each student checks out I have to assess the room before the cleaners can move in and get the rooms ready.
Shel found her passport (WHEW!)
I loaded some books on the sony e-reader for her to take with her on her trip.
She leaves on Sunday so I have to take her to the airport, schedule someone to look after the boys and get back to work for the check in on Sunday afternoon. (These weekends we call "back to backs" and we have students leaving Friday and new groups arriving Sunday).
All the rooms are assessed and currently being cleaned. I have changed my voice mail and set an out of office reply on my email. I still have to book Shel a room in Edmonton for Sunday and in Wisconsin for next week, and call the airline to confirm her flight.
I have a list of things I still need to do at work next week so even though I have scheduled days off I have to come in and get some of these things crossed off the list. Next week we get the new carpet installed in the office. YAY!
I'm thinking I can leave in a minute or so but I have to make a list so the cleaners know what has to be finished tonight or tomorrow morning. I'm not even stopping at the grocery store on the way home tonight. I am BEAT. Shel picked up diapers this week so there is absolutely NOTHING we need that can't wait until tomorrow morning!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Thursday Thirteen: Things that make me happy
I have had quite a week. This week will not go down in history as one of the easiest weeks of my life.
Somehow I need to clear my head of all this funk and so I am going to start by listing thirteen things that make me happy. I have made a list like this before, but it's time I did it again.
1. My sons make me insanely happy. They are a challenge to be sure, but they bring a smile to my face every day.
Here is photo I took of Max this week. He was helping me to unload the groceries. He is a fantastic helper. in fact he is most happy when he is helping. He loads the groceries onto his truck and deposits them at the back door.
Here is a pic of Cael. This rug is at the library and he runs around and around the alphabet and when he stops on a letter he wants to me say what letter it is. Then he rests!
2. Spaghetti with browned butter and mizithra cheese.
I first had this dish when I lived in Ogden and ate at the Union Grill there. I LOVE it. I haven't had it in a while because, well, because it is pretty impossible to find mizithra cheese where I live and there is no place I have found that serves it. It doesn't make me love it any less!
3. Kenny Dalglish.
Some of you may not know who this is, and to you I say, "WHAT THE HEY?!!"
You are obviously not followers of Premier League Football. King Kenny is the Liverpool manager for the second time and I am so happy I can barely contain my joy. He is a class act and I think the epitome of a great leader.
4. Snuggly beds.
5. The Iditarod
I think this race is one of the truly "amazing" races still going today. I am not a fan of winter, or the cold, so I am amazed that these athletes brave the cold and go without sleep for days, travelling hundreds of miles out in the middle of no-where. One of the races opposition comes in the form of animal activists. I understand where the activists are coming from, but I personally believe that these people - whose livelihood depends on their dogs, are not brutal in any way. In fact, it is the relationship between human and animal in this race that makes it so appealing to me - and the fact that the race is run by men, women and youth all with equal opportunity to compete and to win. It starts again in a few days and I will be watching closely you can be rest assured! (you can follow along online - this year there is even a musher from Jamaica!)
6. Books.
I love to read and I am enjoying reading a lot recently. I go through phases when I read a lot and when I don't and I am currently in a "read a lot" phase. Goodreads makes me happy also. It is an awesome way to track what I am reading, keep lists of what I want to read, and it has been a fantastic resource for me to find books I never would have thought of that I have thoroughly enjoyed. If you are a reader at all I highly recommend getting a Goodreads account.
7. Facebook.
I know there are some people out there who don't like it and who never will, and others who are bored with it. I am not one of these people. I love it. I love being connected to my friends and to my family. I love to see photos and updates and send messages back and forth. I protect my privacy to the "nth" degree because my spouse is a conspiracy theorist. I still love it.
8. Blog friends
It's actually a bit of a surprise to me how long I have been blogging. I like to write, and I like to check out other blogs, and I could spend a LOT more time doing it than I do. Having said that, I have really not made any blog "friends" because I typically don't spend the time to go out and comment all the time (even though I want to) and believe it or else - I am somewhat shy - so for the amount of time I have been blogging I have made surprisingly FEW connections with other people - until about the last six months or a bit more.
Now, I ACTUALLY have followers on my blog! I know who some of the people are and I check their sites regularly, and comment sometimes even. I can count on two hands the people I feel like I have made more of a connection with than just "random name" person and it makes me happy - and a little nervous. What if they don't like me and find my posts boring and never comment on my blog again ? Or what if they are so turned off by something I post ( though who could be offended by a list of things I like I have no idea - But I could see my attraction to Dennis Rodman being a little questionable....) that they change the name of their blog so I can never find them again or suddenly go private and block me? Oh dear. I am making myself nervous instead of happy! NEXT!
9. Kobo E-reader.
I don't actually have one yet, but the realization that one day I WILL have one makes me very happy.
10. IPAD
Same as above!
11. SLEEP makes me extremely happy. One day I will have some!
12. Skype
It's been a LONG time since we have had a working computer at home ( we are still in the process of saving to get a MAC) and I only JUST joined skype. My parents live in South Africa, my closest relative is over 500 km away and I am just far away from all my family and friends.
I created a skype account and low and behold - I am connected! I have had a lot of fun talking the three times I have had a chance to my sister and to see my nephew and niece. They play, make faces, and hang upside down in front of the camera, but I CAN SEE THEM! I can't WAIT until we get connected at home so that my boys can see their grandparents, their cousins, their FAMILIES and get to know them - as opposed to seeing photos only.
YAY SKYPE!
13. Doctor Pepper. I'm a Pepper! I particularly love the DP one purchases in the USA - it is a different recipe than the DP in Canada. What makes me particularly happy about this is my spouse is headed to the USA and I'm certain her carry on luggage has room for at least ONE can!
Somehow I need to clear my head of all this funk and so I am going to start by listing thirteen things that make me happy. I have made a list like this before, but it's time I did it again.
1. My sons make me insanely happy. They are a challenge to be sure, but they bring a smile to my face every day.
Here is photo I took of Max this week. He was helping me to unload the groceries. He is a fantastic helper. in fact he is most happy when he is helping. He loads the groceries onto his truck and deposits them at the back door.
Here is a pic of Cael. This rug is at the library and he runs around and around the alphabet and when he stops on a letter he wants to me say what letter it is. Then he rests!
2. Spaghetti with browned butter and mizithra cheese.
I first had this dish when I lived in Ogden and ate at the Union Grill there. I LOVE it. I haven't had it in a while because, well, because it is pretty impossible to find mizithra cheese where I live and there is no place I have found that serves it. It doesn't make me love it any less!
3. Kenny Dalglish.
Some of you may not know who this is, and to you I say, "WHAT THE HEY?!!"
You are obviously not followers of Premier League Football. King Kenny is the Liverpool manager for the second time and I am so happy I can barely contain my joy. He is a class act and I think the epitome of a great leader.
4. Snuggly beds.
5. The Iditarod
I think this race is one of the truly "amazing" races still going today. I am not a fan of winter, or the cold, so I am amazed that these athletes brave the cold and go without sleep for days, travelling hundreds of miles out in the middle of no-where. One of the races opposition comes in the form of animal activists. I understand where the activists are coming from, but I personally believe that these people - whose livelihood depends on their dogs, are not brutal in any way. In fact, it is the relationship between human and animal in this race that makes it so appealing to me - and the fact that the race is run by men, women and youth all with equal opportunity to compete and to win. It starts again in a few days and I will be watching closely you can be rest assured! (you can follow along online - this year there is even a musher from Jamaica!)
6. Books.
I love to read and I am enjoying reading a lot recently. I go through phases when I read a lot and when I don't and I am currently in a "read a lot" phase. Goodreads makes me happy also. It is an awesome way to track what I am reading, keep lists of what I want to read, and it has been a fantastic resource for me to find books I never would have thought of that I have thoroughly enjoyed. If you are a reader at all I highly recommend getting a Goodreads account.
7. Facebook.
I know there are some people out there who don't like it and who never will, and others who are bored with it. I am not one of these people. I love it. I love being connected to my friends and to my family. I love to see photos and updates and send messages back and forth. I protect my privacy to the "nth" degree because my spouse is a conspiracy theorist. I still love it.
8. Blog friends
It's actually a bit of a surprise to me how long I have been blogging. I like to write, and I like to check out other blogs, and I could spend a LOT more time doing it than I do. Having said that, I have really not made any blog "friends" because I typically don't spend the time to go out and comment all the time (even though I want to) and believe it or else - I am somewhat shy - so for the amount of time I have been blogging I have made surprisingly FEW connections with other people - until about the last six months or a bit more.
Now, I ACTUALLY have followers on my blog! I know who some of the people are and I check their sites regularly, and comment sometimes even. I can count on two hands the people I feel like I have made more of a connection with than just "random name" person and it makes me happy - and a little nervous. What if they don't like me and find my posts boring and never comment on my blog again ? Or what if they are so turned off by something I post ( though who could be offended by a list of things I like I have no idea - But I could see my attraction to Dennis Rodman being a little questionable....) that they change the name of their blog so I can never find them again or suddenly go private and block me? Oh dear. I am making myself nervous instead of happy! NEXT!
9. Kobo E-reader.
I don't actually have one yet, but the realization that one day I WILL have one makes me very happy.
10. IPAD
Same as above!
11. SLEEP makes me extremely happy. One day I will have some!
12. Skype
It's been a LONG time since we have had a working computer at home ( we are still in the process of saving to get a MAC) and I only JUST joined skype. My parents live in South Africa, my closest relative is over 500 km away and I am just far away from all my family and friends.
I created a skype account and low and behold - I am connected! I have had a lot of fun talking the three times I have had a chance to my sister and to see my nephew and niece. They play, make faces, and hang upside down in front of the camera, but I CAN SEE THEM! I can't WAIT until we get connected at home so that my boys can see their grandparents, their cousins, their FAMILIES and get to know them - as opposed to seeing photos only.
YAY SKYPE!
13. Doctor Pepper. I'm a Pepper! I particularly love the DP one purchases in the USA - it is a different recipe than the DP in Canada. What makes me particularly happy about this is my spouse is headed to the USA and I'm certain her carry on luggage has room for at least ONE can!
Link to other thursday thirteen participants HERE
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
how do these travel websites work?
I spent the majority of the day yesterday trying to book a flight for Shel to go to Wisconsin on very short notice. Travelocity, Expedia, Cheaptickets, Westejet, Sears travel, you name it, I tried it.
At one point I got on the phone with my sister in law in the USA. I was on a site and having difficulty with payment and asked if she could help me. She went to the same site, we logged on and entered travel details identically and her site brought up tickets for about 400 dollars cheaper than my site did. This was for the same person, starting and ending in the same place on the same dates of travel. I simply don't understand how it is possible for this to happen. She tried to pay from her end because I was having difficulties from my end. We were getting the same error message as we tried to pay with a credit card.
We called the bank and verified the credit card info AND the fact that the charges for the credit card had come into the bank every single time we entered them on the site. That took a bit of clearing up to do because between her and I and our mutual obsessiveness we had tried to enter credit card information a number of times each. Once that was cleared up the bank advised us to call the website. The website advised us to call the airline. The airline said the problem was with the bank.
Needless to say we exited that site!
At the end of a gruelling day online trying to get Shel to Wisconsin as early as we possibly could, we ended up buying the ticket from the USA, paying Canadian funds for the ticket, but getting almost a thousand dollars off the price as it was listed where I was accessing the site in Canada. Strange.
I POSSIBLY could comprehend if the sites were different - in the way that amazon.ca is different from amazon.com, but these were IDENTICAL sites being browsed simultaneously. In any case, with MUCH appreciation for her sister and the time she spent getting flights booked, Shel will be on her way in just a few days, and for a few hundred dollars cheaper than I was able to find.
At one point I got on the phone with my sister in law in the USA. I was on a site and having difficulty with payment and asked if she could help me. She went to the same site, we logged on and entered travel details identically and her site brought up tickets for about 400 dollars cheaper than my site did. This was for the same person, starting and ending in the same place on the same dates of travel. I simply don't understand how it is possible for this to happen. She tried to pay from her end because I was having difficulties from my end. We were getting the same error message as we tried to pay with a credit card.
We called the bank and verified the credit card info AND the fact that the charges for the credit card had come into the bank every single time we entered them on the site. That took a bit of clearing up to do because between her and I and our mutual obsessiveness we had tried to enter credit card information a number of times each. Once that was cleared up the bank advised us to call the website. The website advised us to call the airline. The airline said the problem was with the bank.
Needless to say we exited that site!
At the end of a gruelling day online trying to get Shel to Wisconsin as early as we possibly could, we ended up buying the ticket from the USA, paying Canadian funds for the ticket, but getting almost a thousand dollars off the price as it was listed where I was accessing the site in Canada. Strange.
I POSSIBLY could comprehend if the sites were different - in the way that amazon.ca is different from amazon.com, but these were IDENTICAL sites being browsed simultaneously. In any case, with MUCH appreciation for her sister and the time she spent getting flights booked, Shel will be on her way in just a few days, and for a few hundred dollars cheaper than I was able to find.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
almost a year to the day
Almost one year ago to the day my spouse left me alone with the boys so that she could take a trip to Wisconsin to visit her ailing father.
I have joked about his ailing health since I have been with her, because for as long as I have known him he has been in the process of dying. Last month I spoke with her sister and commented to her that as long as I have known Shel, Pappy has been dying, to which she responded "As long as I have known him, Pappy has been dying". He's been dying apparently for 40 something years. This is humorous when he isn't ACTUALLY in the process of dying, so it isn't funny right now.
I just spent the day on the phone booking a flight for Shel to go back to the USA. Pappy has declined dialysis and his kidneys are failing. It is not a happy time for anyone in the family right now and I am just glad Shel is able to go and see him.
The boys and I are going to be alone together again for another seven nights. I think Shel is almost convinced I can handle it. I'm pretty sure she thinks that all we do is drink beer and eat "Bits and Bites" in our underwear. To which I respond - WHO CARES AS LONG AS WE'RE ALL HAPPY AND ALIVE WHEN YOU GET BACK!
I am sad she is going, I wish the conditions were better and I wish we were all going along. In the meantime, I will keep the home fires burning for her return.
I have joked about his ailing health since I have been with her, because for as long as I have known him he has been in the process of dying. Last month I spoke with her sister and commented to her that as long as I have known Shel, Pappy has been dying, to which she responded "As long as I have known him, Pappy has been dying". He's been dying apparently for 40 something years. This is humorous when he isn't ACTUALLY in the process of dying, so it isn't funny right now.
I just spent the day on the phone booking a flight for Shel to go back to the USA. Pappy has declined dialysis and his kidneys are failing. It is not a happy time for anyone in the family right now and I am just glad Shel is able to go and see him.
The boys and I are going to be alone together again for another seven nights. I think Shel is almost convinced I can handle it. I'm pretty sure she thinks that all we do is drink beer and eat "Bits and Bites" in our underwear. To which I respond - WHO CARES AS LONG AS WE'RE ALL HAPPY AND ALIVE WHEN YOU GET BACK!
I am sad she is going, I wish the conditions were better and I wish we were all going along. In the meantime, I will keep the home fires burning for her return.
Friday, February 18, 2011
While we are on the topic...
Since I'm on the topic of sperm and sperm donation (well kind of anyway). I thought it might be a fun and distracting kind of thing for me to come up with a list of people I would take sperm from - if they offered.
Here's my list in no particular order.
1. Rob Thomas
Here's my list in no particular order.
1. Rob Thomas
2. Anderson Cooper
3. David Beckham
4. Xabi Alonso
5. Steven Gerrard6. Dennis Rodman
7. Jason Behr
8. Ruben Cortada
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I'll take your baby
I am amazing at being able to say things to stop a conversation in it's tracks. Sometimes my enthusiasm gets the best of me.
The thing is, being a lesbian and wanting a family is difficult. Unless you have money to spend on invitro or on adoption the options available to have a family are very limited.
We have been able to adopt through the foster care system, but I have mentioned before that the system is severely flawed, and the children that come available generally have some problems, be it medical, emotional, mental or a combination of all three. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my boys. Does it sound selfish to say that even though I love my boys I wish there was a way to have a healthy child without spending a boat load of money which we don't have?
I know a couple who went though an adoption agency to have a child. They built their profile and they had severe anxiety that potential birth mothers would be comparing them to other potential parents - which they would - and that they would not measure up. How do you make yourself so attractive to someone that you don't know so that they will like you enough to raise their child? The pressure is intense. They went through the process of being selected by someone, following through the pregnancy and birth, only to have the person change their mind after the baby was born. They were devastated. They went through the process again, were selected again, and were in the hospital when the baby was born. The young mother asked them if they had any names chosen for the baby - she wanted her own name to be given to the infant. When they mentioned the name they had selected her response to them was " Oh, I HATE that name, I knew a girl in high school with that name and I hated her." They left the hospital that night and lamented all night long what would happen as a reult of them sharing the name with this young woman. It WAS enough for her to change her mind.
Could I live through that? And before even contemplating if I could live though it, could I find an adoption agency that would accept a lesbian couple as potential adoptive parents?
I have had instances on two different occasions where someone I know personally has said to me that they are pregnant and that they didn't want to be pregnant or raise a child. In both cases after I listened to the person complain, I offered to adopt the child they did not want. In both cases the conversation became very awkward - why wouldn't it? In both cases the person went on to full term, and to keep their child.
Is saying you don't want your kid something straight people do for conversation sake? Is it something straight women do to bond?
I wish our culture was set up differently so that people who didn't want to have the child they were carrying felt no shame or guilt in saying - you know what - you CAN have my kid. It would even be cool if gay men and women could get together and make arrangements like - We'll take sperm from you and I'll carry a kid for you and then a kid for me.
There are just so many beliefs and emotions about pregnancy.
I asked a friend once if he would give us sperm. He said no because it would be too emotional for him to have a child with me (ok - maybe he was a little attached to me?) but I never understood how guys can watch their seed wash down the drain in the shower or wherever it goes when they "spill it" and not want to give it to someone for free who wants it!
Either way - here's some advise... If you want to end a conversation with someone who is pregnant and doesn't want to be - offer to take the kid, or ask your best friend for sperm.
The thing is, being a lesbian and wanting a family is difficult. Unless you have money to spend on invitro or on adoption the options available to have a family are very limited.
We have been able to adopt through the foster care system, but I have mentioned before that the system is severely flawed, and the children that come available generally have some problems, be it medical, emotional, mental or a combination of all three. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my boys. Does it sound selfish to say that even though I love my boys I wish there was a way to have a healthy child without spending a boat load of money which we don't have?
I know a couple who went though an adoption agency to have a child. They built their profile and they had severe anxiety that potential birth mothers would be comparing them to other potential parents - which they would - and that they would not measure up. How do you make yourself so attractive to someone that you don't know so that they will like you enough to raise their child? The pressure is intense. They went through the process of being selected by someone, following through the pregnancy and birth, only to have the person change their mind after the baby was born. They were devastated. They went through the process again, were selected again, and were in the hospital when the baby was born. The young mother asked them if they had any names chosen for the baby - she wanted her own name to be given to the infant. When they mentioned the name they had selected her response to them was " Oh, I HATE that name, I knew a girl in high school with that name and I hated her." They left the hospital that night and lamented all night long what would happen as a reult of them sharing the name with this young woman. It WAS enough for her to change her mind.
Could I live through that? And before even contemplating if I could live though it, could I find an adoption agency that would accept a lesbian couple as potential adoptive parents?
I have had instances on two different occasions where someone I know personally has said to me that they are pregnant and that they didn't want to be pregnant or raise a child. In both cases after I listened to the person complain, I offered to adopt the child they did not want. In both cases the conversation became very awkward - why wouldn't it? In both cases the person went on to full term, and to keep their child.
Is saying you don't want your kid something straight people do for conversation sake? Is it something straight women do to bond?
I wish our culture was set up differently so that people who didn't want to have the child they were carrying felt no shame or guilt in saying - you know what - you CAN have my kid. It would even be cool if gay men and women could get together and make arrangements like - We'll take sperm from you and I'll carry a kid for you and then a kid for me.
There are just so many beliefs and emotions about pregnancy.
I asked a friend once if he would give us sperm. He said no because it would be too emotional for him to have a child with me (ok - maybe he was a little attached to me?) but I never understood how guys can watch their seed wash down the drain in the shower or wherever it goes when they "spill it" and not want to give it to someone for free who wants it!
Either way - here's some advise... If you want to end a conversation with someone who is pregnant and doesn't want to be - offer to take the kid, or ask your best friend for sperm.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Ridiculous!
My boys have never been good sleepers. EVER.
Max got up yesterday morning AT FIVE AM and came into our bedroom. I didn't even sit up, I just said to him, "MAX! This is Ridiculous!"
He replied, " It IS ridikoolus!"
He didn't go back to bed though.
Max got up yesterday morning AT FIVE AM and came into our bedroom. I didn't even sit up, I just said to him, "MAX! This is Ridiculous!"
He replied, " It IS ridikoolus!"
He didn't go back to bed though.
these things don't happen to me...
I have a pretty blessed life. I have a wonderful family, my health, a good job, a home, pets, a vehicle that works, great friends....
I see tradgedies happen to people and I think how grateful I am that they don't happen to me. Then something happened which I never thought would happen to me, and I look at the world and think - how does the world just keep going on?
I'm still here. I still have a wonderful family, my health, a good job, a home, pets, a vehicle that works, great friends, and my life has changed forever in spite of it all.
Other people have a LOT worse happen to them, but I just can't get over this pain in my gut, this feeling like I am completely "out" of the world, like everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same.
Then my sons get me up in the morning, I have to go to work, I still have to "live", I just don't quite know how...
I see tradgedies happen to people and I think how grateful I am that they don't happen to me. Then something happened which I never thought would happen to me, and I look at the world and think - how does the world just keep going on?
I'm still here. I still have a wonderful family, my health, a good job, a home, pets, a vehicle that works, great friends, and my life has changed forever in spite of it all.
Other people have a LOT worse happen to them, but I just can't get over this pain in my gut, this feeling like I am completely "out" of the world, like everything has changed and nothing will ever be the same.
Then my sons get me up in the morning, I have to go to work, I still have to "live", I just don't quite know how...
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentines Day
Happy VD as my spouse said (that's Valentines Day and NOT Venereal Disease!)
This morning we gave the boys a box of chocolate and a small teddy bear each. CJ stood on the chair in the kitchen and said 'HO HO HO' He has grasped the concept of Santa but we still have some teaching to do about other holidays.
We addressed the valentines for Maxies classmates and he took them in his little mailbox in the truck. As we drove we he was listing who he had chocolate for - "This one's for Marli, This one's for Marli, This one's for Marli...." I asked him if he had anything for anyone else. Reluctantly he said "This one's for Logan..... but this one's for Marli!"
Apparently Marli has made an impression on my young son.
This morning we gave the boys a box of chocolate and a small teddy bear each. CJ stood on the chair in the kitchen and said 'HO HO HO' He has grasped the concept of Santa but we still have some teaching to do about other holidays.
We addressed the valentines for Maxies classmates and he took them in his little mailbox in the truck. As we drove we he was listing who he had chocolate for - "This one's for Marli, This one's for Marli, This one's for Marli...." I asked him if he had anything for anyone else. Reluctantly he said "This one's for Logan..... but this one's for Marli!"
Apparently Marli has made an impression on my young son.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
12 of 12: February
So it is the 12th and a Saturday. I had great plans for getting out and taking all kinds of pictures and instead I was woken with devastating news for my family and I spent the day reeling from the news and making calls to my siblings.
Here is the start of my day...
1. 7am
2. 7:30 amAt least Hugo was blissfully sleeping!
3. 3pm
I took Zuva with me to run some errands and to get out of the house and try to clear my head.
4. 3:20pm
Zuva running behind me.
5. 3:30 pm.
My shoes.
6. 4pm
Unloading the vehicle. Got some junk food. Emotional eater am I.
7. Some of the books I planned to read this weekend - I didnt get to any of them, but I do feel as though my kingdom is broken!
8. The day ended like the day started - Hugo sleeping on me.
9. I even tried to start a fire in the hopes that burning something would purge my feelings. Didn't work.
Well my 12 of 12 ended up being 9 of 12. I couldn't muster the energy or interest in photos today. Sorry !
Friday, February 11, 2011
Bravery nomination
Today my brother was interviewed for his nomination to the Order Of Canada for Bravery Award - which he deserves. WAY TO GO JUSTIN! I cannot be more proud of you than I am.
I wrote about the incident he was involved in back in the summer of 2010. You can link to it here : http://lovesmukiwa.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-brother-is-hero.html
I wrote about the incident he was involved in back in the summer of 2010. You can link to it here : http://lovesmukiwa.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-brother-is-hero.html
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
a rapid descent into thesis hell
I say "rapid descent" like some people are described as being "overnight" successes in the music industry when they have worked for many years before their "overnight" success.
I have been procrastinating my thesis like only I can do, so my rapid descent to thesis hell has been coming for a LONG time.
I called my thesis advisor today and basically the very brief conversation went something like this....
"You don't have time now to get it all in and graduate in June."
TARNATION! That is ridiculously (and not unexpectedly) frustrating.
Now I have to.... HAVE TO.... start working on it anyway, because my inclination is to say: "Well, I'm not graduating in June so there's no hurry" and go back to farmville.
I have been procrastinating my thesis like only I can do, so my rapid descent to thesis hell has been coming for a LONG time.
I called my thesis advisor today and basically the very brief conversation went something like this....
"You don't have time now to get it all in and graduate in June."
TARNATION! That is ridiculously (and not unexpectedly) frustrating.
Now I have to.... HAVE TO.... start working on it anyway, because my inclination is to say: "Well, I'm not graduating in June so there's no hurry" and go back to farmville.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
bathroom sink update
So I took the new P trap home and the pipe was too long to fit into the existing connection. I brought the pipe to work and Spaghetti Eddie cut it with one of his handy little tools.
SO.... the new pipe is in and connected to the old pipe and dang it if the new pipe doesn't leak in all my connections. I have to take it all apart and see what is happening but I have a feeling that I know the problem and it won't be able to be fixed until we deal with all the bathroom plumbing.
The house we live in is OLD and it was put together by a farmer who used bits and pieces of whatever was available for him to use.
The plumbing has partly been replaced, but the piece under the sink has not been and it is not plumb or square or any of the words people like Holmes on Homes use when they talk about houses. The existing pipe - the one I have to tie the new p trap into - comes into the space under the sink at a downward angle, which means I can't thread the new pipe onto the existing pipe cleanly (if that makes any sense).
Forcing the new one onto the old one pulls the connections on the other new ones and causes leakage.....
What to do, what to do.....
For now the new one is connected and I have a bucket under the sink. The clog is gone so it drains nicely, but we have to deal with a drip for the time being.
SO.... the new pipe is in and connected to the old pipe and dang it if the new pipe doesn't leak in all my connections. I have to take it all apart and see what is happening but I have a feeling that I know the problem and it won't be able to be fixed until we deal with all the bathroom plumbing.
The house we live in is OLD and it was put together by a farmer who used bits and pieces of whatever was available for him to use.
The plumbing has partly been replaced, but the piece under the sink has not been and it is not plumb or square or any of the words people like Holmes on Homes use when they talk about houses. The existing pipe - the one I have to tie the new p trap into - comes into the space under the sink at a downward angle, which means I can't thread the new pipe onto the existing pipe cleanly (if that makes any sense).
Forcing the new one onto the old one pulls the connections on the other new ones and causes leakage.....
What to do, what to do.....
For now the new one is connected and I have a bucket under the sink. The clog is gone so it drains nicely, but we have to deal with a drip for the time being.
Friday, February 4, 2011
My handy self
The sink in our bathroom has been clogged for a while and we have had no luck trying to unclog it.
Today I decided I was taking matters into my own hands and taking care of the problem. I was certain the issue was in the p trap because my sons like to play in the water and they are not very discriminatory when it comes to shoving things into holes they shouldn't.
I tried a tool I had at home and it didn't work to take the pipes apart so I asked Spaghetti Eddie if I could borrow a tool from him and he lent me one. I took the pipes apart, unclogged the drain - I was right about the obstruction - and I have the parts now to put it back together. (One of the pipes was cracked and leaking so I purchased a new "P" trap.) I also tried to take photos of the old trap to illustrate how nasty the old plumbing is but for some reason I can't turn off the flash on my camera and every photo I try to take has a glare. Cael was VERY upset that I would not let him sit in my lap. Usually when we do projects at home he is in my lap but I couldn't turn the wrench around him tonight so he had to stand behind me - much to his chagrin. Shel took some photos of the process on her camera which I will have to download.
When I get home tonight I am going to attempt to put it all back together and we will see how it fares. It seemed fairly easy but I am nervous because every time we start a project in our ancient house it requires another ten projects to complete it. One thing leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to another and I am HOPING in this instance this is not the case.
My son thinks I am VERY handy. He calls me "strong mama". OH YEAH!
Today I decided I was taking matters into my own hands and taking care of the problem. I was certain the issue was in the p trap because my sons like to play in the water and they are not very discriminatory when it comes to shoving things into holes they shouldn't.
I tried a tool I had at home and it didn't work to take the pipes apart so I asked Spaghetti Eddie if I could borrow a tool from him and he lent me one. I took the pipes apart, unclogged the drain - I was right about the obstruction - and I have the parts now to put it back together. (One of the pipes was cracked and leaking so I purchased a new "P" trap.) I also tried to take photos of the old trap to illustrate how nasty the old plumbing is but for some reason I can't turn off the flash on my camera and every photo I try to take has a glare. Cael was VERY upset that I would not let him sit in my lap. Usually when we do projects at home he is in my lap but I couldn't turn the wrench around him tonight so he had to stand behind me - much to his chagrin. Shel took some photos of the process on her camera which I will have to download.
When I get home tonight I am going to attempt to put it all back together and we will see how it fares. It seemed fairly easy but I am nervous because every time we start a project in our ancient house it requires another ten projects to complete it. One thing leads to another, which leads to another, which leads to another and I am HOPING in this instance this is not the case.
My son thinks I am VERY handy. He calls me "strong mama". OH YEAH!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Thursday Thirteen: Music Memories
Check out other people who participate in Thursday Thirteen by linking HERE.
For Thursday Thirteen this week I am going to write about songs and the people and places certain music brings to my mind.. I love music!Here's a walk down my memory lane:
1. Uncle Eric: Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall.I was fortunate enough to spend many of my growing up years living in the same community as my extended family. Both sets of my grandparents lived within walking distance of my house and I spent a lot of time with them. When I was young my Uncle Eric was a teenager and living at home. I remember that he LOVED this song - and my grandmother did not. I thought he was such a rebel.
2. My Cousin Andy: Billy Idol. White Wedding.
When I was In high school I had the opportunity to travel to Southern California and spend summers with my aunt and cousins. I made lifelong friends when I was in Azusa and I spent time with my cousins (who are more like siblings to me than cousins). My older cousin Andy was in college and he came to Azusa with his friend Joe once. A few times they took me along as they went cruising around and I thought it was AMAZING. I was hanging out with COLLEGE KIDS and listening to ROCK MUSIC!
3. My Brother Justin: The Tokens, The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
We took a lot of road trips when I was growing up and we spent a LOT of time on those road trips singing. We spent a lot of time singing period in my house. On one very memorable trip to the USA - on our way to a family reunion in Colorado if my memory serves me correctly - we were all awake in the middle of the night and singing at the top of our lungs "The Lion" Sleeps tonight. My brother Justin had a MEAN falsetto.
4. A Youth Advisor: Rhonda Prime Tommy Shaw; Girls with Guns
I was very active in my church youth organization as a teenager in Saskatoon. One of my advisors was a friend as well as an advisor and we spent time together outside of the youth activities. This song I remember being played at top volume in the basement of her house where we got ready for youth dances.
5. My cousin Trace: The Police; Every Breath You Take
Picking just one song that reminds me of my cousin Tracey is difficult because I spent so much time with her as an early teen that MOST of my teenage songs are tied to her in some way in my memory. Tracey left to go on a Mormon Mission to Belgium and I missed her dreadfully. This song reminds me of her because of the line "Since you've been gone I've been lost without a "Trace". ( I always called her "Trace") After she went on her mission I would listen to this song and cry into my pillow that i was missing her! I don't think she knows that...
6. Foster Son, D: Journey; Separate Ways
We have now been foster parents for over five years and we have had a LOT of kids come and go through our home. We have had a different connection with each of them. The very first placement we had was a little boy who will forever hold a most special place in our hearts. We are very very fortunate to live in the same community as he and his mother (he's back with mom) and we have a relationship with them which is AWESOME. The foster experience we had with him was intense, painful and a journey I would not ever want to repeat. Let me say this - the foster system is SEVERELY flawed and families of origin AND foster families are harmed by the system as it exists.
We knew D was leaving and I had a Journey CD in the van which we listened to often. I made sure I sang this song to him and that he KNEW "True love would not desert him even though we touched and went our separate ways". He does know that we love him and I get to see him frequently and remind him.
7. My Puppy (for whom this blog is named) Mukiwa: Evanescence; My Immortal
I acknowledge I am weird for having a song that reminds me of a pet. Whenever I hear this song I think of Muki, but I can't help it. She was such an important part of our lives and she left us FAR FAR too soon. The pain was just too real. Still is.
8. My sister Jill: Technotronic; Pump up the Jam
One benefit of being a few years older that siblings is having fun teaching them songs. This is a song my brother taught my sister Jill. She used to dance on the dining room table to this song. I wonder if my mom knows she was on the table?
9. Friend in high school Sheri: Information Society.
My friend is a DJ in her current life. Maybe our choice of music in high school made her something of who she is today!
10. My Parents: Chicago; You're The Inspiration
This is not my parents "song" but it is one that means a lot to them. Mom bought dad this Chicago CD. I think I know every word from every song on this CD.
11. Student in Residence - Q-tip: Cranberries; Zombie
We have nicknames for a LOT of people I work with and students living in Res. Q-tip, Minute Rice, The Linguine Brothers, Voldemort, Uncle Kracker, just to name a few. We also have karaoke night in Res every so often. Q-tip sang this song and she did NOT sing it well. Now I cannot hear the song without thinking of her. It was memorable I will say that much. She should leave it to the Cranberries.
12. My sons: Bette Midler; Baby Mine
This is my song for my sons.
13. My Spouse: Soraya; Suddenly
In our truck Tinkey Winkey the first time we drove to Salt Lake I had a tape with just two songs by an artist Soraya. We listened to the first track and who knew it would have a deeper meaning for us in our loves to come! Here is the Spanish version - some things are just too good to share with the world!
For Thursday Thirteen this week I am going to write about songs and the people and places certain music brings to my mind.. I love music!Here's a walk down my memory lane:
1. Uncle Eric: Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall.I was fortunate enough to spend many of my growing up years living in the same community as my extended family. Both sets of my grandparents lived within walking distance of my house and I spent a lot of time with them. When I was young my Uncle Eric was a teenager and living at home. I remember that he LOVED this song - and my grandmother did not. I thought he was such a rebel.
2. My Cousin Andy: Billy Idol. White Wedding.
When I was In high school I had the opportunity to travel to Southern California and spend summers with my aunt and cousins. I made lifelong friends when I was in Azusa and I spent time with my cousins (who are more like siblings to me than cousins). My older cousin Andy was in college and he came to Azusa with his friend Joe once. A few times they took me along as they went cruising around and I thought it was AMAZING. I was hanging out with COLLEGE KIDS and listening to ROCK MUSIC!
3. My Brother Justin: The Tokens, The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
We took a lot of road trips when I was growing up and we spent a LOT of time on those road trips singing. We spent a lot of time singing period in my house. On one very memorable trip to the USA - on our way to a family reunion in Colorado if my memory serves me correctly - we were all awake in the middle of the night and singing at the top of our lungs "The Lion" Sleeps tonight. My brother Justin had a MEAN falsetto.
4. A Youth Advisor: Rhonda Prime Tommy Shaw; Girls with Guns
I was very active in my church youth organization as a teenager in Saskatoon. One of my advisors was a friend as well as an advisor and we spent time together outside of the youth activities. This song I remember being played at top volume in the basement of her house where we got ready for youth dances.
5. My cousin Trace: The Police; Every Breath You Take
Picking just one song that reminds me of my cousin Tracey is difficult because I spent so much time with her as an early teen that MOST of my teenage songs are tied to her in some way in my memory. Tracey left to go on a Mormon Mission to Belgium and I missed her dreadfully. This song reminds me of her because of the line "Since you've been gone I've been lost without a "Trace". ( I always called her "Trace") After she went on her mission I would listen to this song and cry into my pillow that i was missing her! I don't think she knows that...
6. Foster Son, D: Journey; Separate Ways
We have now been foster parents for over five years and we have had a LOT of kids come and go through our home. We have had a different connection with each of them. The very first placement we had was a little boy who will forever hold a most special place in our hearts. We are very very fortunate to live in the same community as he and his mother (he's back with mom) and we have a relationship with them which is AWESOME. The foster experience we had with him was intense, painful and a journey I would not ever want to repeat. Let me say this - the foster system is SEVERELY flawed and families of origin AND foster families are harmed by the system as it exists.
We knew D was leaving and I had a Journey CD in the van which we listened to often. I made sure I sang this song to him and that he KNEW "True love would not desert him even though we touched and went our separate ways". He does know that we love him and I get to see him frequently and remind him.
7. My Puppy (for whom this blog is named) Mukiwa: Evanescence; My Immortal
I acknowledge I am weird for having a song that reminds me of a pet. Whenever I hear this song I think of Muki, but I can't help it. She was such an important part of our lives and she left us FAR FAR too soon. The pain was just too real. Still is.
8. My sister Jill: Technotronic; Pump up the Jam
One benefit of being a few years older that siblings is having fun teaching them songs. This is a song my brother taught my sister Jill. She used to dance on the dining room table to this song. I wonder if my mom knows she was on the table?
9. Friend in high school Sheri: Information Society.
My friend is a DJ in her current life. Maybe our choice of music in high school made her something of who she is today!
10. My Parents: Chicago; You're The Inspiration
This is not my parents "song" but it is one that means a lot to them. Mom bought dad this Chicago CD. I think I know every word from every song on this CD.
11. Student in Residence - Q-tip: Cranberries; Zombie
We have nicknames for a LOT of people I work with and students living in Res. Q-tip, Minute Rice, The Linguine Brothers, Voldemort, Uncle Kracker, just to name a few. We also have karaoke night in Res every so often. Q-tip sang this song and she did NOT sing it well. Now I cannot hear the song without thinking of her. It was memorable I will say that much. She should leave it to the Cranberries.
12. My sons: Bette Midler; Baby Mine
This is my song for my sons.
13. My Spouse: Soraya; Suddenly
In our truck Tinkey Winkey the first time we drove to Salt Lake I had a tape with just two songs by an artist Soraya. We listened to the first track and who knew it would have a deeper meaning for us in our loves to come! Here is the Spanish version - some things are just too good to share with the world!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Things blogs are good for....
We are filling out the application for my spouse to become a citizen of this great country. Part of the application process is a calculation of the days you have spent here as there is a minimum requirement of number of days you have to be here in order to qualify for citizenship.
On the online calculator provided by the federal government there is a place in which to enter the days in which you travelled OUT out of the country so they can be removed from the total count.
I called my spouse because we knew she left last year to visit her family and we weren't sure of the dates to enter.
This is how the conversation went:
Me: "Hey do you know when you went to visit your family last year?"
Shel :"It was after I got my phone, let me see if I can find something here on my calendar."
Me: "I think it was in March."
Shel: "Really? Was it that long ago?"
Me: "Well it was in winter I know that for sure. Let me check my blog."
Shel: "Yeah , it was in Winter. Check your blog it will be on there."
Me: "You got your phone in February - I have that on my blog - let me check in February."
Me: "Yup - Here it is in February, you got back on the 18th."
So I am sorry if what I write is boring to you, it has serious benefits in our lives! I entered the dates into the online calculator, including the dates of her trip and VOILA! Shel has been here long enough to apply for citizenship. WOWZA. I have a feeling she will want to get a haircut before she gets her photo taken. (That comment is based purely on what she had on her head when I got home yesterday and I KNOW if I post a picture here it will not be citizenship we are filing for!)
On the online calculator provided by the federal government there is a place in which to enter the days in which you travelled OUT out of the country so they can be removed from the total count.
I called my spouse because we knew she left last year to visit her family and we weren't sure of the dates to enter.
This is how the conversation went:
Me: "Hey do you know when you went to visit your family last year?"
Shel :"It was after I got my phone, let me see if I can find something here on my calendar."
Me: "I think it was in March."
Shel: "Really? Was it that long ago?"
Me: "Well it was in winter I know that for sure. Let me check my blog."
Shel: "Yeah , it was in Winter. Check your blog it will be on there."
Me: "You got your phone in February - I have that on my blog - let me check in February."
Me: "Yup - Here it is in February, you got back on the 18th."
So I am sorry if what I write is boring to you, it has serious benefits in our lives! I entered the dates into the online calculator, including the dates of her trip and VOILA! Shel has been here long enough to apply for citizenship. WOWZA. I have a feeling she will want to get a haircut before she gets her photo taken. (That comment is based purely on what she had on her head when I got home yesterday and I KNOW if I post a picture here it will not be citizenship we are filing for!)
Destruction - 2 year old style
It has been pretty cold in our neck of the woods. Yesterday driving to work it was -35 and -40 degrees depending on where I was. This means it is WAY to cold for the boys to go outside to play, but they get tired of being cooped up all day in the house - and can you blame them?
Last night we finished with supper and got ready to head upstairs to our bedroom where we watch a show all together and then put the boys to bed. The boys went up a minute or two before we did as we performed last minute downstairs duties - drinks, pet food, shutting off lights etc. I went up behind the boys and I honestly thought I was pretty quick. When I walked into the bedroom this is what greeted me:
Notice that the boys have disappeared. Our bedside lockers are apparently very inviting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)