Friday, October 10, 2008

National Coming Out Day

October 11th is National Coming Out Day.

I have no internet access at home, so I won't be posting on the 11th but I think it is an important day and wanted to say something about it.

I have been "out" for a long time. I live in a country where my relationship with my partner is acknowledged as a legitimate one by the government and we are able to be married. We are even able to jointly adopt our son - which we are getting closer and closer to each day.
A LOT has changed for homosexual people in the last decade, but unfortunately not enough.
There is still widespread misunderstanding, and even hatred towards gays and lesbians.

I try to live my life without regrets. When I was in university I was pretty involved with the student association. At one point I seriously considered running for student body president. At the time, I was BARELY acknowledging my own sexuality even though I was dating my now spouse. A lesbian woman at the school had singles me out as being gay and was bound and determined to "out" me. The constant badgering and comments to me compounded my insecurities and I made a decision that I regret and did NOT run for student body president because she was going to use me to advance her political beliefs about gays in the community. There is SO much emotion for individuals who are questioning - or even KNOW that they are gay and have to "come out" to family and friends. It is life changing. It can be devastating. Although I come from a very loving family it has even, sadly, changed the relationships in my life. I am lucky now to have a supportive spouse, supportive friends and some supportive family members.

It is sad that we STILL live in a day and age when being gay is an issue. That Clay Aiken - whom I totally laugh at - has to "make an announcement on a magazine" that he is gay.

I posted about Clay - and someone commented on my post "ha ha ha i was laughing my a** off when I read it on yahoo headlines, I was like what's new! maybe (s)he realized that "she" prefer to be a mommy to "her" son." I was shocked at the response. Being gay has nothing to do with wanting to be the other sex.

This topic for me obviously is close to my heart and I could write about it for ever. I will just leave it at this....

If a loved one comes to you to tell you they are gay, that event is HUGELY significant in their life. Put down what you are doing and give them a hug. It can't be expressed the impact you will make in their life.


Ranavan said...

I am so proud of you for the decision to be true to yourself. It is hard to stand up and say I am who I am and I will not hide behind lies. You took control of your life that day and for every day after that!!

Great post!


P.S. Conneticut became the 3rd State in the U.S. to allow same sex marriage today. Slowly the U.S. will see what we already know here in Canada.

Anonymous said...

Julie, I am glad that you have a supportive family and that you live in an accepting environment. Thank you for your eloquent post.