meme: day 18

Today is whatever tickles my fancy:

So my son and I were doing errands and we came across a car show in our small town. As I was walking with him (he of course was more interested in the drains than in the cars) I noticed all the different headlights and tail lighta on the cars. I thought it would be cool to take pictures of them all - so I did! I took as many as I could with a small child in tow who was mildly interested for a very short amount of time. Then I had to take him to look in some more drains! Here is some of what I gathered. Unfortunately I did not get all the names and dates of the vehicles so you will just have to enjoy the photos.

And here is what is remaining:

Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy
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belonging to something I don't believe in

I work.
The place where I work has "changed hands" over the past few years and in the time I have been here I have "worked for" three different employers.
The current leader of the organization has spoken with the staff here on a number of occasions and he has spoken about values. In those speeches the topic of ethics has come up. He has spoken of the belief he has that when you work for someone and when you draw a check from them it then you shouldn't talk badly of them. If you don't like them , leave. Don't stay someplace you hate, take their money, but then talk about them negatively.
I believe this.
Believing this creates some conflict for me - not at work - but in another area of life.
We are foster parents.
I BELIEVE in being a foster parent. I have loved the children that have come into care and have been in our home. Unfortunately, the system is broken. There are HUGE - and I mean HUGE flaws. I don't think these problems are going to be fixed anytime soon. These flaws have affected our lives and the lives of children we have cared for.
I honestly think it is time for us to be done with fostering - but if people like us leave - people like us who love the kids and who provide a great home for the kids (if I say so myself). If we leave then what is left? And if we stay - how can we stay a part of something so broken? How can I stay a part of something I simply don't believe in anymore.

opening emails I shouldn't

I have been known to have been suckered once or twice by emails people send ... "LOOK CLOSELY at the screen" they say, and then I am peering at my screen something horrible pops out and scares me. I would like to have thought that the days of being suckered were past me. But no.

I am a part of this email group at work. If you want to be a part of it you can sign up and its the group that anyone can advertise things for sale, send jokes or news stories or whatever. If you don't want to be a part of it you don't have to and then you don't have to worried about getting your email box filled up with things unrelated to work. I signed up. I receive the emails.
Yesterday this email comes around about hazards at work and there is a story about being careful around paper shredders. There is a photo attached to the email. What do I do? I open it.

Honestly I can say that I thought it was a joke. I thought it was one of those emails where they talk about how the faxes weren't going through and when you look at the picture there is a cute little kitten attacking the fax machine. I honestly expected there to be some funny thing "shredding" paper. Oh no. It was a REAL photo of someones REAL hand after going through a paper shredder. I threw up in my mouth. I can't get the image out of my head. It was downright NASTY. Who does that anyway? Who sends those nasty pictures around? I thought the email group was all rainbows and sunshine but it is not.

But worse than opening emails when I "think" it is going to be something of a joke is the fact that last week I went to a link - which there was a warning for - for video taken undercover of the treatment of animals in the USA at a dairy farm. The man in the video had been charged with multiple animal cruelty charges. (check out the "story"...no video! here) There were MANY warnings about the video. I thought " how bad could it be?" and I went to check it out. Let me just say this.. When there IS a warning about something - it is likely there for a reason. This warning was appropriate. I think I watched about 8 seconds of the video and I turned it off. It was 8 seconds too much though and it was very disturbing. I guess I just don't want to believe that things like animal cruelty to this extent can happen in the world I live in. I just do not understand why anyone would be motivated in any way to be so harmful, so destructive and cruel. I just don't understand human nature. I think to myself - it can't be that bad can it? But it can. Oh, it can.

There's a reason for labels people! In case you didn't already know. So I'm going out on the web now to google rainbows and sunshine so I can get the image of shredder hand out of my mind.

meme: day 17

An art piece

This is titled "The City on a Hill".

One of my all time favorite artists is James C. Christensen.
Here is part of an article from 2005 (the entire article can be found HERE)


FISH INHABIT THE HUMAN WORLD--breathing air, walking on leashes, balancing on noses--in James C. Christensen's art.

"Why not stick a fish in it?" he says. "If I [paint] a guy walking a fish it's more fun. Fish became a reminder that the paintings are magical."

Christensen, who lives in Orem, has gained fame over the past 20 years by painting "unique people, places and things that exist somewhere between adult dreams and childhood memories," according to a Web site that features his work. But, he says that as fantastic as his work can be, it's often grounded in reality, with conscious thought, not dreams, behind every stroke of his brush.

Take the "poofy" men, for whom he is arguably best known. These men exist under heavy layers of clothing, and though they often are unsmiling, Christensen's intent is to elicit a knowing grin from the viewer, to get us to laugh at our own weaknesses. "They're wearing on the outside what I think of as baggage," Christensen says. "They become us. We're all human, we're all flawed, but we're also colorful and fun."

(above: The Oldest Professor)

He sometimes interprets the classics. Jack Be Nimble is hilarious, with a poofy, aloof Jack appearing incapable of stepping--never mind jumping--over a candlestick. But there's more to Christensen's portfolio. Though works with titles such as Lawrence Pretended not to Notice that a Bear had Attached Himself to his Coattails suggest the extent of his whimsy, others such as Madonna with Two Angels highlight his serious, spiritual side.

Art fans take Christensen's work seriously. His paintings are in collections worldwide, and an original can sell for many thousands. Touching the Hem of God is being offered for $39,000; Sisters of the Sea can be had for $64,000.

(Above: The widow's mite.)

meme: day 16

A song that has made me cry....

The one that came to my mind immediately is the song by Evanescence... My Immortal.
For your viewing pleasure, here it is.

Doctor's. A HELPING profession

I understand I am not a doctor. I understand that I have not gone through the years of schooling necessary to become a doctor. I understand that doctor's know "more than me" about health. I understand that I am a part of a wonderful program whereby I can walk into a hospital or medical clinic to see a doctor and not worry about going into debt over it.

All of this knowledge however does not preclude me from being ridiculously irritated with doctor's right now.

My spouse and my boys were sick a few weeks ago. REALLY sick. All three of them had the same symptoms. They all went to outpatients - one of the reasons we chose to take them to outpatients is that BOTH boys have previously been diagnosed with RSV and both of them have spent time in the hospital before with respiratory problems. We could not afford to wait the weeks to see our regular doctor in his office. So off to outpatients they went. Shel was told at that time (and I may have to check my info here) but the two boys had bacterial infections and were given antibiotics but she had a viral infection and was given nothing. No swabs were taken from anyone. X-Rays were ordered for only one of the boys. They were sent home. THE DOCTOR BARELY LOOKED AT SHEL! He didn't ask one question about her.

You know - I get it. Emergency rooms are overcrowded with non- emergencies. People go in to see the doctor and start listing off ailment after ailment and think they can get ten things taken care of in one visit.

In this case there were three people in one room and all of them were sick. The thing is, there WERE three charts and the doctor will receive payment for seeing all three of them. All of them were checked in and they were there to see him for one reason each. Two of the people in the room were under the age of 3. If he had taken a complete history of all of them it couldn't have taken him more than 45 minutes - which would have meant 15 minutes of face time per person in the room. Don't get me wrong. I don't think he needed to take a full medical history. I don't think he needed to spend 15 minutes with each person in the family. The ACTUAL amount of time that he spent with the family totalled LESS than ten minutes. LESS than 4 minutes PER PERSON - and one very sick person was sent away without any care provided at all. What I expect when we go to the doctor is that he take enough time to find out what is wrong, what symptoms we are experiencing, how long the symptoms have been present and "perhaps" get some further tests done to determine what measures should be taken - for EVERYONE who is ill.

At about the same time I was also getting sick. I didn't get as ill as the others but I was sick. My breathing has been really laboured for about three weeks now. I have been relying on my asthma inhaler almost on an hourly basis just to "get by" and feel as though I was not drowning. I have been weak. So weak I can barely stand in the shower - which is WEIRD. I have had a fever and hot and cold sweats.

I am allergic to just about every antibiotic known to man. I am deathly allergic to penicillin and any derivative. I have NEVER taken an antibiotic that I have not reacted very strongly to. I simply do not like going to the doctor especially since because of my allergies there is often nothing they can do for me. So,I didn't go to the doctor. I got sicker. Should I even admit that I was getting through the days by using the breathing treatments prescribed for my sons?

Finally on Saturday I could stand it no longer. I couldn't sit. I couldn't stand. I couldn't walk. I simply could not breathe. So I went to the emergency room. As soon as I was able to walk into the door they rushed me into a room and gave me a breathing treatment. Outpatients was scheduled to start at 9 am and the nurse told me she wanted to doctor to look at me because she could still hear that my lungs were not clear.

The doctor, scheduled to begin work at NINE AM, showed up at TEN THIRTY AM. He looked at m. He sent me to x-ray. He did not ask ONE question about how long I had felt this way, or if I was having any other symptoms. He simply stated that I was indeed sick. It was pneumonia caused by a virus (again, how can he tell this?) and that he was not going to prescribe me any antibiotics. Thank-goodness for THAT since my chart states I am allergic to them.... oh wait - he never looked at my chart. So he prescribed me an inhaler and some steroids to aid in my breathing and he sent me home.

I don't want to paint ALL doctors with the same brush. We love our family doctor and if we had the time to book an appointment and wait weeks on end to see him we would have.

I simply do not understand why some doctor's - people who have taken on a career of helping people - are not interested in helping. Could you take a minute? Show up on time? Maybe take a swab and send something away to a lab so we could be treated properly for what is ailing us?

A friend went to a specialist last week on a referral and was told by the specialist that it was not his job to explain medical terminology to her - about HER OWN medical problems! Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong here?

meme: Day 15

Day 15 — A fanfic

I have absolutely no idea what fanfic is, so what has that left me with for options for blogging about on this day?

I suppose I will blog about my favorite team for the world cup this year...
England. England are one of seven national teams to have won the FIFA World Cup, which they did in 1966 when they hosted the finals.

Now I know that there is little hope for England to make it to the finals, in fact, they may not even make it to the quarter finals, but to me being a fan is supporting your team no matter what. When they "are" finally eliminated then I will have to cheer for another team, but until that point, I will be rooting for England.

David Beckham will not be playing for England due to an injury, but he will be present.



The captain of the team will be Steven Gerrard, who plays for Liverpool in the English Premier League. (YAY LIVERPOOL!)


A record number of Liverpool players have been named in their respective countries’ provisional World Cup squads, these players will all be going to South Africa, here is the full list.

England : Steven Gerrard, Glen Johnson and Jamie Carragher
Argentina : Javier Mascherano and Maxi Rodriguez
Netherlands : Ryan Babel and Dirk Kuyt
Spain : Fernando Torres and Pepe Reina
Greece : Sotiros Kyrgiakos
Denmark : Daniel Agger
Slovakia : Martin Skrtel

Goalkeepers for England will be David James, Robert Green and Joe Hart.
It makes me more than a little nervous that the goalie for England is known as "Calamity James." Goalkeepers are not the strength of the England team this year.

A team I am NOT a fan of is Argentina. The 1978 World Cup was won by Argentina. This year the Argentinian coach is Diego Maradona. In 1986 Diego Maradona was a player on the Argentinian team. Argentina and England played against one another in the quarter finals. Argentina went on to win the game, but Diego scored a controversial goal, in which he jumped for the ball and hit it into the net with his hand. When asked about the goal in the post-match press conference, Maradona responded that the goal was scored “a little with the head of Maradona and a little with the hand of God”.

O.K. - So the incident happened in 1986 - over 20 years ago. I probably should "get over it" and not judge the Argentinian team this year. Nope. I won't. I will admit the team has the potential to go all the way this year and I will watch them and likely enjoy the games, as I enjoy all well played soccer, but will I cheer for them? Not a doubt.

To me, that's what being a fan is all about.

meme: Day 14

A non-fiction book.

Again with the vague instructions!

This is a book I really enjoyed which was unfortunately made into a terrible movie. If you have not seen the movie - DON'T - just read the book! If you DID see the movie, I am sorry, and I still think the book is worth being read!

meme: day 13

The title for today is " a fictional book". I have actually no idea what this means. Am I supposed to give information of a book of fiction or a book that doesn't exist? Am I supposed to write a fictional book, review a fictional book, suggest an idea for a work of fiction?




The instruction for today could have been a lot clearer. ...
So here is a book, a fiction book, that I think everyone should read (even if you are not a fan of SCIENCE fiction it is still something that I think everyone should read).

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.

Read it!

My growing list (of 99 things to do)

April was a rocking month to get things done and we seemed to slow down a bit in May but I am not disappointed at all because we got a LOT done. June seems to be picking up a bit more and I hope we have another super productive month in June but at the moment I am sick and nothing will get done unless I shake this garbage in my lungs.

Here is the updated list!


1. Sort through the box in my bedroom closet that I have moved to two different households without sorting through.
2. Write monthly letters to my sons. ( I am thinking this should actually count as 24 "things to do" and not one. Depending on how much I get accomplished I may change this later!)
3. Start my thesis.
4. Finish my thesis.
5. Participate in Chad Darnell's 12 of 12 every month.
6. Go to a movie, in a theater, with my spouse.
7. Clean out the bathroom cupboard. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
8. Do at least ONE cross stitch project.
9. Get an updated criminal record check (COMPLETED APRIL 2010)
10. Get a carbon monoxide detector for the house. (THIS IS COMPLETE! January 2010)
11. Fence the dugout.
12. Renew my first aid.
13. Find our marriage license. (didn't find it - so I ordered a new one! APRIL 2010)
14. Change our last names - to a blended last name. (COMPLETE MAY 2010)
15. Send my spouse to see her dad in the USA. (COMPLETE FEBRUARY 2010)
16. Get haircuts for the boys. ( I cut it myself in June!)
17. Take family photos.
18. Finish my stats class.
19. Work on my mom's 60th birthday present BEFORE her birthday! (Unfortunately this was not complete in time to send to mom on her birthday..... FAIL)
20. Get the carpet up off the staircase - remove the staples from the steps. (COMPLETE MARCH 2010!)
21. Get the hallway painted.
22. Lay new carpet on the staircase.
23. Make myself a bookmark.
24. Replace Shels' cell phone (COMPLETE. FEBRUARY 2010)
25. Cancel the contract on my cell phone. (COMPLETE. February 2010)
26. Put up Maxie's toddler bed. (COMPLETE. APRIL 2010)
27. Change the furnace filter. (COMPLETE. January 2010)
28. Hang hooks in the bathroom. (COMPLETE. January 2010)
29. Put together the smart shopper cards from IGA. (COMPLETE. February 2010)
30. Sort the tools. (STARTED May 2010)
31. Work on the boy's baby books.
32. Get an electrician quote on the house. (COMPETED MARCH 2010)
33. Hand in all the paperwork for fostercare BEFORE March 31.(COMPLETE March 2010)
34. Take all the furniture from the old guest house to the dump.
35. Get tinkey winkey fixed (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
36. Teach Max to ride a bike.
37. Box up all the clothes too small for the boys and donate them. (STARTED JUNE 2010)
38. Go camping with the family.
39. Take a family picture at Lake Louise.
40. Get a Christmas gift to my parents BEFORE Christmas!
41. Send out a family letter before December 31 2010.
42. Get a dutch oven.( Shel and Max found me a dutch oven in June! YAY!)
43. Cook a dutch oven meal!
44. Stain the deck.
45. Get a haircut. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010) for me and Shel!
46. Submit receipts by March 31. (COMPLETE March 2010)
47. Order Checks. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
48. Update my criminal record check and hand it in (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
49. Get an electrician to the house to start on rewiring (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
50. Pay my taxes. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
51. Put the new windshielf wipers on the van. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
52. Get a brush for Zuva and brush her. (STARTED APRIL 2010)
53. Prune. (STARTED APRIL 2010)
54. Fix the lamp from Homa.
55. Finish painting the barn.
56. Rototill the garden spot. (Started May 2010)
57. Take the lawnmowers in for repair. (Bought a new one! JUNE 2010)
58. Get Shel a new pair of glasses. (COMPLETE JUNE 2010)
59. Get the septic tank pumped. (COMPLETE JUNE 2010)
60. Start rewiring the house. (COMPLETE MAY 2010)
61. Get new wires installed for HDTV and PVR. (COMPLETE June 2010)
62. Get a new dishwasher. (COMPLETE June 2010)
63. Get the yard pinned.
64. Get the yard fenced.
65. Install new screens in windows.
66. Install new screen doors - front and back.
67. Install new doors. Front and back.
68. Plant a garden.
69. Plant some flowers.

meme: Day 11

A photo taken of me recently.......

Hmn. What do I have here......

Max and I were doing some home repairs in March. We had to glue a dresser drawer and then put something heavy on it. In this picture of he and I the gluing is finished and we are in the process of weighing the drawer down. We are hard at work in this picture.

What's left of the 30 day meme (and day TEN!)

Today I must post a picture of me taken over ten years ago:

Here is a photo of me and three of my siblings taken in Sydney, Nova Scotia. We lived in Nova Scotia in about 1984? Anyway - it was more than ten years ago!





And here is what is left of the meme:


Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

Hallelujah

One of my all time favorite songs is "Hallelujah"

Here are a few different versions (I know there are more out there.... I like them all!)

The original:


Canadian Tenors and Celine (one of my favorite versions)



Rufus Wainwright:


Annie Lennox:


Bon Jovi:


Justin Timberlake:

I will not regret this

Quote by Anna Quindlen:

“The biggest mistake I made as a parent is the one that most of us make. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of my three children sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.”

I absolutely love our boys. I love them more than I knew love was possible before having them. I had heard people say that having kids changed your life and I "knew" it in an intellectual way - I didn't know it in a "heart" way.

There are a million ways in which I feel as though I "fail" as a mother, but there is ONE way that I do NOT fail ..... I live in every moment with my boys. Here are a few moments from the last day or so:

Yesterday I had to travel to pick up some stuff for work. I took Max with me. While we were in the store picking up the stuff we heard a train whistle. I knew he had never seen a train go by and so we left the store and stood hand in hand and watched the train as it passed. I knew the stuff I needed to pickup would still be there when the train passed, but the chance to stand and watch the train with my boy might not come again anytime soon.

As we drove there was a semi in front of us hauling what Max calls an "earth mover" and he wanted to get closer to it for a better view. He said to me "Go faster mom". I responded "I am going faster" to which he replied "Why?" He makes me laugh every day.


Our house is insanely hot. I have had some trouble breathing at night and so in the middle of the night I have been going downstairs to sleep. Last night Max came into our bedroom and inquired as to where I was. When he discovered I was downstairs he came down and woke me up. "Move over mom" he said. I moved. He lay down next to me and put his head on my arm. "Move your arm mom" he said. "I can't move my arm, it is attached to my body" I replied. "Oh. OK" he said and rolled over and went to sleep.

My baby boy is really attached to me for some reason. I'm not being facetious, for some reason he is really bonded to me and he HATES when I leave for work in the morning. He clings to me and does not want my spousal unit to take him away. I should be used to it by now and I should just peel him off and walk out the door, but I love him. I love how he smells. I love how he rests his head on my shoulder and I KNOW he will not always want to cling to me or hate to see me go to work. We have managed to work out that when I leave Shel will take him to the front door and he will wave as we drive away. He has the CUTEST wave and I love to watch him wave to me every morning.

The last thing we do at night before bed - after supper, after baths and pajamas - is sit together in the rocking chair and watch treehouse for 15 minutes. I LOVE this time of day and not just because the day is over! I love having the boys on my lap. I love snuggling with them. I love just loving them.

library

I love that our small town has a library. Back in the day when we were living in a city and we were a "dual income" family we spent REDONKULOUS amounts of money on books. We spent hours upon hours in bookstores and never walked out of a store without armloads of books. We were members of book clubs and ordered books through those and we visited used and independent books stores with regularity.
When we moved to Canada and to our small community we found (much to our chagrin) that there is no bookstore in our town and only one bookstore in the city that is closest to us. This has curtailed our book shopping completely, but our desire to read has not been similarly stifled. THANK GOODNESS for our small town library. It was one of the very first things I sought out when we moved here and I got a membership immediately. They have an awesome online service where you can get online from home or work and search for books and place orders for books. Because we are in such a small community our library has partnered with others and there is a consortium of libraries who all share resources and books. They ship books between one another when you order online and there is no charge (beyond a very reasonable yearly membership) for this ordering service.
I have been ordering STACKS of books lately - and by stacks I mean probably ten books or more per week. Every time I go to pick up books that have been sent from other small libraries I try to go through the shelves and pick up books from here also.
Here's the thing. Our library is so small they have put the shelves very close to one another in order to accommodate the books they have. So close together in fact that they are like one way streets - you can't pass someone in the aisle if you are in the same aisle trying to pass them. More frustrating than that is the fact that the shelves are so close that it is impossible to see what is on anything on a shelf below eyesight. It is impossible to bend forward to see what is on the low shelves. You can turn sideways and bend down but then you have to turn your head at a weird angle to see the book spines.
If I ever win the lottery this little library in our town will be the happiest little library this side of the Great Lakes - and I will be able to check out books from shelves lower than shoulder height!

meme: day nine

Today I am to post a photo I took.

Sheesh, I take a LOT of pictures.........

Here is one that makes me smile - and today I need a smile! This is my boy - watering my shoe. Helpful little fella isn't he? He has ALWAYS been a good helper and he LOVES to be told he is a good helper.

supper

Last night for supper we barbecued. We have a new barbecue which we got on mothers day - and which I put together (go me!) This is the first time we have ever purchased our "own" brand spanking new one. In the past we have been given BBQ's from people who were moving or upgrading their own. We think we are special now that we have our own and we plan to use it a LOT.
We had hamburgers and hot dogs so the boys could choose which they wanted. Max cut his hot dog down the middle and put a hamburger in between the hot dog pieces and called it his "hot dog sandwich".

Inventive little fellow that one.

meme: day eight

A photo that makes me sad:

This picture came from examiner.com

It is a photo of a heron in the oil caused by the BP oil spill.

meme: day seven

A photo that makes me happy:

Photos of my kids make me VERY happy. I love my family to death. My baby is just 2 months away from turning two and this is a picture from when he arrived with us. I can't believe how little he was. My little humpback whale.

meme: day six

Whatever tickles my fancy....

Here is a photo of my baby sister in our truck - tinkey winkey.
Tinkey has been in the family since 1995 and we love her to death. This winter she broke down and we did not get her fixed until the spring. When we finally did get her fixed my oldest boy was so excited he could barely stand himself.
He calls her "winkey" which is confusing for some people - he tells everyone he's "going a winkey" - I guess I can understand why they are confused.

meme:day five

I love quotations and for a long time in my life I have collected different quotes.
Here is one I found this year which brings a smile to my face and has a good message!


"If your face is swollen from the severe beatings of life, smile, and pretend to be a fat man." Nigerian proverb

meme: day four

Today I must share with you my favorite book. I apparently have issues with "favorites"! I have too many. I like different books for different reasons and I like a LOT of books. I have been reading for as long as I can remember and when I wasn't old enough to read I was being read to.

Growing up I used to sit on a stool in the kitchen at my grandparents house. My grandmother would make me bushtea and toast with marmite on it and we would listen every day to the radio where someone was reading "The Secret Garden". I love this book and the memories it brings back to me.

I have a collection of books by Enid Blyton. I have a collection of books by Wilbur Smith that at one time belonged to my dad.

I love Orson Scott Card and the Alvin Maker series and the Ender's Series.

I love "To Kill a Mockingbird" and "The Power of One", "A Tree Grow's in Brooklyn", "The Poisonwood Bible", "Middlesex" and "The Birth House".

And how about Children's books?

It would be impossible for me to limit my favorite books to just one. In fact, I think I may even start my own list of top 100 books and see if I can limit it to 100.

meme: day three

Here is a short list of some of my favorite shows. I have a favorite show depending on what night of the week and even what season (there are different shows in the summer than in the winter) but here are a few I have limited myself to.

1. I love cooking shows of all kinds. I enjoy watching top chef but even more than top chef I enjoy Top Chef Masters. In another life I would love to be a chef.

2. The Good Wife. I just watched the season finale and I can't wait for next season to begin. The cast is great, the story lines are interesting. Two thumbs up for The Good Wife!

3. House.

I want to be House - minus the addiction to pain killers!

4. Grey's Anatomy.

Besides the fact that Callie is HOT.... this is another show I triple love. Did I mention Callie was HOT?

Hot.

meme: Day two

So today the question is what is my favorite movie. I have to admit although I am a huge fan of movies I tend to watch a movie once and then never watch it again. I started out the other day by posting one favorite movie and since then I have been back three times to add movies to the list. I am terrible about trying to limit my options!

1. Water.

If you haven't seen this movie you should!

2. Crash (from 2004).

The thing I love about this movie is the way the characters are shown as "real" people - people with flaws, people with inner conflict, people with more than one side to their personalities. When we left the theater after seeing this movie we talked about it for DAYS. I love movies that give me something to think about, and I love Sandra Bullock!

3. Set it Off.

When I was in college and in the early days of being in a relationship with my current spouse, I used the privileges of my employment to go into the movie theater with my then "date" and watch a rented movie on the big screen. I love watching movies on the big screen. The movie we watched was Set it Off and it was the first time I had seen it. The theme in the movie about friendship, specifically friendships between women, was something that resonated with me. My reaction to the movie was quite..... severe (?) I guess you would say. I cried hysterically. Looking back on the moment makes me laugh - I am not a "crier" at the best of times and here I was in this VERY new relationship, on a date, "ugly" crying. Oh how funny. The fact that my date didn't run away screaming let me know very early on that she was a keeper!

4. Bound.

I think I would lose my lesbian card if I listed movies and didn't list one with a lesbian theme. This is not easy to do because there are precious few good lesbian films out there - in my humble opinion. Bound is worth a watch... I won't lie, I'll watch it again!

5. Slumdog Millionaire.

Do I need to say anything about this choice?

meme: day one

This is an incredibly difficult question to answer, I absolutely LOVE music and to pick just one favorite song is impossible.

Here is just one song that I love... by the Indigo Girls - Least Complicated.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't stick with just one song. So here is another song I love. Beth Hart sings L.A. Song. I am not from L.A. but my spouse is. There's just something about the combination of her voice, the lyrics (she drank so hard the bottle ached) and the emotions this song evokes in me that make me just LOVE it.



And who can NOT love Total Eclipse of the Heart? I sang this song at Karaoke at the women's bonspiel and won! I Have great memories of singing this song with my siblings and having a total ball. Oh Songs are fun....



Journey...Separate Ways.
We had a foster child. (One of many) I loved him more than my luggage. Basically LOTS of stupid stuff happened with this placement. At one point we thought we were adopting him but it didn't happen. When we travelled in the van I would sing this song to him. "You know I still love you, though we touched and went our separate ways"... He LOVED singing along to the song and I loved singing to him.

30 day meme

I thought I would try out something to jumpstart my blogging again. Nothing like a meme to get me going.... Here is the latest one making the rounds. I will start tomorrow!

Day 01 — Your favorite song
Day 02 — Your favorite movie
Day 03 — Your favorite television program
Day 04 — Your favorite book
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
Day 06 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy
Day 08 — A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 09 — A photo you took
Day 10 — A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11 — A photo of you taken recently
Day 12 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 13 — A fictional book
Day 14 — A non-fictional book
Day 15 — A fanfic
Day 16 — A song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 — An art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)
Day 18 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19 — A talent of yours
Day 20 — A hobby of yours
Day 21 — A recipe
Day 22 — A website
Day 23 — A YouTube video
Day 24 — Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25 — Your day, in great detail
Day 26 — Your week, in great detail
Day 27 — This month, in great detail
Day 28 — This year, in great detail
Day 29 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 — Whatever tickles your fancy

soccer

We registered the boy for under 4 soccer this summer. The weather was lousy the first day of the season so there was no practise on that day.

The second day we went we found his team and got his shirt (which he refused to put on) and he clung to my side. I went out onto the field with him and stood by him as the kids were going through their little routines but he refused to participate at all. We knew this was probably going to be how he dealt with it because new situations freak him out. We debate constantly whether or not to even sign him up for things like this because we have no idea if we are traumatising him by making him go or traumatising him by not signing him up?

Anyway - he loves anything sport related so we figured we would give this a try. When we left the pitch after the first practise Shel said she thought it might be too much for him. We hope that now he is speaking more he will tell us, but it is SOOO hard with a kid with sensory integration issues - does he even understand it enough to tell us if it is too much for him?
On the other hand it takes SOOO long for him to warm up to something do we just go once and then decide to quit? I know when we started him into the early intervention program this year I was ready to pull him out after a month of craziness but that program has done wonders for him.
SOOOO........ we decided to go to soccer again.
Attempt numero deux....

Well he DID touch the ball and even leave my side but he would not go near the other kids. He took his ball and played on the back side of the goal, but he was happy as a lark so we just let him go for it.

And then he was done.
And then he and his brother found the bridge from nowhere to nowhere and thought it was the greatest thing EV-ER and they played on the bridge longer than he played soccer! Oh well. The fact that he and brother are playing together so well is such a joy to watch. So the bridge it was.

Thursday Thirteen: April Snapshot

1. Photo of me:
This is how projects in our house are completed.... with lots of help from interested and helpful little hands. I hung a new baby gate at the bottom of the stairs with enough clearance for our fat cats to squeeze under. What I didn't realize at the time was that enough clearance for our fat cats made enough clearance for everyone other than the two adults and great dane puppy!



2. Current candle scents: I really need to change this "snapshot" because although I enjoy candles I have to admit I have had two new candles in the past 12 months. So instead of current candle scent.... so I will instead give a snapshot of....

2. Something I accomplished this month from my list of things to do that I am most happy about: I framed a photo of some art my boy did in school. It is hanging in the kitchen.

3. What I am currently reading: Hunting Fear by Kay Hooper

4. What is my favorite book read this month: Without a doubt, The Birth House by Ami McKay.

5. Movie I saw: The Blindside. I saw a few movies this month and didn't like any of them except for The Blindside.

6. Something yummy I made this month: I didn't make anything yummy this month, but I put together our new BBQ!

7. The last place I ate out: This is another selection I need to edit. Since moving to our small community we have about two places we eat out - if at all - and one place we used to frequent we do so less now that we have a son allergic to soy. Literally my answer to this question would not vary all year. So I am going to snapshot instead:

7. Something fun we did together as a family this month: This month we got a puppy. We have had a lot of fun getting a crate ready, playing with the puppy and the crate and getting to know our newest family member. He is a great fit.

8. Something that made me cry: Not this month!

9. Something that made me laugh: My oldest son is cracking me up. he has a wicked sense of humor and a sense of style all his own. Here is a clip of something that made me laugh this month:


10. Something I looked forward to this month: Getting my taxes done.

11. Something I am thankful for: I am thankful for my sons who are growing up to be wonderful people.

12. Something I want to remember about this month: I learned a lesson this month about fear. I have now been "out" for about 13 years. Through the coming out process some people that I was close to, for whatever reason, chose to exclude me from their lives. As a result of this I isolated myself from other people who I considered to be friends with because I feared that they would no longer want to be associated with me also. This month I reconnected with one of the people that I had "lost touch" with and - like I do - I feared her reaction once she knew I was homosexual. She surprised me, she was warm and receptive and excited to hear what I was up to. I realized how much I have come to allow fear to govern my actions and I made a decision to try and let go of the fear. It hasn't proven to do much for me that is positive! It was a good lesson to learn and I hope I can "go with it"!

13. A photo I took this month: We got a new addition to our family. A great dane puppy named "hugo" it was a departure for us in the naming of our pet, because we typically give all our dogs names in Shona (language from Zimbabwe) but Hugo was already named and M could say the name so we kept it. He is an AWESOME dog.

If I had a hammer

On my list of things to do is to sit down and sort through all the tools. We have moved twice since arriving here and the tools are spread everywhere. I want everything in one place, cleaned and in working order. I was outside with the boys and decided while I was sitting there I could start by going through one of the tool caddy's. I brought it up from the basement and took it out to the swing to sort through it. Lo and behold there was a hammer in it and M took an immediate shine to it. We have purchased all kinds of "toy" tools for him in his short life but he is not attracted to anything unless it is the "real" deal. I figured he might as well use the hammer since I was sitting right there supervising and we have a wooden "table" constructed of pallets that he could pound nails into. Well the boy has died and gone to heaven. He LOVES the hammer. Last night he was outside hammering again and I called him to come in and eat. He told me that supper was yuck and that he wanted to hammer. He knows what he likes!

breathing treatments

Both of the boys are on the nebulizer AGAIN. Thankfully they are much much better at it and will even hold it themselves. M was desperate for a treatment on Sunday but he was absolutely NOT going to go inside to sit and do it, so we brought it onto the porch where I was putting together the new BBQ and let him sit in the chair and do it there by me. He was fantastic about it and even managed to keep his cool glasses on! He wears these all the time now, mostly propped on the top of his head!

12 of 12: May

Each month Chad Darnell hosts 12 of 12. The idea is to take 12 pictures of your day and post them on your blog and then check out what everyone else has posted from around the world through links found on Chad's blog. I love it and I look forward to it each month. You can link to Chad HERE.

1. 11:00pm

Another overnight bag. I am staying in town tonight because I have to work early tomorrow morning. Can't wait until I am no longer carrying this bag back and forth.

2. 10:00pm

Downloading my flip. I love my flip.

3. 7:00pm

I have long been fascinated with bees and beehives. I now work at a college where beekeeping used to be a course that was offered (before my time) and people would literally come from around the globe to be instructed in the art of beekeeping. There are a few apiaries still around here and they put out hives in the spring. These hives are particularly close to the road I drive on to work each day.

4. 7:00 pm

5. 7:00 pm
6. 6:00 pm

There is some major construction happening on the highway between our house and town. There have been back hoes working on replacing drainage pipes under the road for about 2 weeks now. There are probably about 6 or 7 back hoes we pass on the way into town. My son is OBSESSED. We count them and talk about what color each one is and what they are doing - EVERY time we pass one!

7. 6:00

The work appears to be complete and the backhoes are pulling out. There were only two on the road - much to the chagrin of my boy.

8. 5:45

9. 5:30

The boys came to get me at work for a minute to show me something they had found. I was trying to get a picture of c-notes shoes and as I was crouching he was copying me! He cracks me up.

10. 5:25 pm

M found an outlet. What a shock.

11. 4:00

Time for registration AGAIN. I need to get this over and done with already. Darn Thesis.

12. 11:00am

Some kids in the field to the south of my office. Must be springtime!

baby steps

Did you ever hear the story of Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do Hai Kai Pom Pom Nikki No Meeno Dom Barako?

It's one I read as a child and have always remembered. The story is about a boy in China who falls into a well. I don't remember the story at all other than the name of the boy. I even googled it to make sure there WAS such a story and it was not just a figment of my imagination.

According to my research on the internet this afternoon the the story does exist and the point of the story is as follows:"If a mother loves her son very very VERY much... she shouldn't give him a long name like "Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do Hai Kai Pom Pom Nikki No Meeno Dom Barako" ...which is SURE to get him stuck in a well because it takes so long to say it. INSTEAD, she should give him a very SHORT name... like "Tikki"... that you can say very quickly."

The reason I have been thinking of this story recently is because the adoption of our boys is supposedly happening in the next 3 months. We have to decide what names we will adopt them as and we have long debated names. It's a good thing we had more than nine months to do this or we would have been in a real pickle! We both have names in our families which we would like the boys to carry. I seriously doubt we will be having more children, even though we would like to. So we have to get all the names from both our families onto these two unfortunate souls. There are names in our families like Willis and Percival and we simply have not been able to agree on what we should do. Our choices were further complicated by the fact that the children arrived with names and we don't really want to change the names they were given already, but we don't want to saddle them with 27 names.

What if they have ADD? Will they fail kindergarten because they have to write names out that go on for days? I remember Lady Diana at her wedding to Prince Charles messing up all his names. How embarrassing.

To add more confusion to the whole name mess my partner and I have both kept our maiden names. So what name do we give to the boys as a surname? In an attempt to put some of the confusion to rest (Drum roll please) This week we legally changed our names and we now have a blended last name.

It's true.

We have become hyphenated lesbians. I feel a little like Tikki Tikki Tembo No Sarimbo Hari Kari Bushkie Perry Pem Do Hai Kai Pom Pom Nikki No Meeno Dom Barako.

So now that the saga of the last name is resolved we have to decide what we will do for first names for the boys. Poor kids are saddled with a mouthful of a last name so we are going to have to be creative on their first names. Maybe Wil and Per.

My new favorite song!

I have a new favorite song...

"I didnt think you had males in your house..."

Now it could have been me and I may have completely misunderstood the context of what was being said....
In a conversation with a friend the comment was made "I didn't think you had males in your house."
Huh?
What?
Yeah I get it we are a lesbian couple but hello, we have not one but TWO sons. One of them if almost 4?
I am confused. The word "lesbian" is not a synonym for "man hater" people!

kids in the bed

Last night both of the boys were restless. We usually have a pretty good bedtime routine down, but last night it went the way of the wind. Max has completely transitioned to a toddler bed but this means he can get out at will - which he does frequently. We started out with both boys in their beds. Max was coughing and coughing and he coughed until he woke himself. We didn't want him to wake CJ so we brought him into our room. Coming into our room is a SUPER treat and he would not just relax and lay down between us so I got him Shel's Nintendo DS and set him up "playing" Fifa soccer. He played and was happy for a while. When he settled down his cough seemed to settle and so I put him back into his bed.
His talking is SO improved and one of the things he does every morning when he wakes up is call to us from his bed "Mom, I'm awake!" Last night right after I put him into his bed he calls out to us, "Mom, I'm awake!" Shel calls back to him "Just close your eyes and think about what you are going to do tomorrow...." She went on this long explanation of things for him to think about and I could hear him moving around in his bed. After a minute of talking to him she turns to me and says "He isn't listening to me." We both had a chuckle and not a second later he calls out "Mom, I'm awake!" Shel and I were both exhausted but we had to laugh. He did manage to fall asleep and then CJ was up.
Shel went and picked him up and brought him to our room for his turn. He tossed and turned and fussed the way that only two year olds can. He was in between us on the bed and he was everywhere. At some point I must have dozed off and I couldn't feel him between us anymore - and I hadn't heard a thump so he didn't fall off the end of the bed and in my sleepy stupor I figured he had fallen to sleep and Shel had taken him and put him back to bed. The next thing I know Shel is tapping me and tapping me. I rolled over to see what she wanted and she was laying with her back to me so I thought perhaps she was just dreaming so I lay back down. She tapped and tapped again so I rolled over to check again and noticed that CJ was still in the bed and he was laying right across her head. She was completely trapped underneath him and couldn't move for fear of waking him up. I picked him up and we put him back in his bed but I had to laugh again. I had looked right at Shel not once, but twice and did not notice his little body draped over her head! I was still chuckling about it this morning and mentioned it to Shel... she had completely forgotten!
Oh the joys of parenthood. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.