Pain

I do NOT deal well with pain. I never have.
This fact being known, one would think I would then make choices in my life that would reduce the possibility of ever experiencing pain.
But what did thinking ever get you?

I just have one word to say..... Dentist.

I have blogged on this topic before. I LOATHE the dentist. I always have, I always will. I never go to the dentist until I am in pain at which time I make a load of follow up appointments which I will cancel. I do it every time.
Then I go without seeing a dentist until the next time I am in pain and then I call again. And the cycle repeats itself.
I am not a medical doctor, so what I am about to say is not grounded in any kind of medical fact.
I think that when I am in pain, there is some chemical released into my brain so that when the pain is OVER I cannot recall the intensity of it and this is why I don't bother following up and think it will be 'Ok" until the next time.
I am sitting here right now in pain. I can only blame myself for it and I am not seeking any kind of sympathy because I know I don't deserve any. I drove this bus off the cliff and now I must deal with it.
I am in AGONY.
The only reason I am blogging is because I cannot do anything else. I can't read. I can't watch tv. I can't do ANYTHING that I would normally do to take my mind off the present. I can't consume copious amounts of sugar. I can't consume ANYTHING. I have been sitting with an electric heating pad on my face for hours - on high. NOTHING IS WORKING. I have taken so many pan killers I have made myself sick to my stomach. I can't sleep.
On a scale of one to ten the pain I am in is EASILY a nine. I say nine because I am upright. I am only upright because I am so out of my head that laying down is more of a bother, but I have had migraines that rank 10 on that scale of intensity.
I'm thinking there should be more than one scale for pain. Cause this is a tenner.
I am ready to rip my tooth from my head with my fingers if need be. OH MY LAND there is nothing anyone can do for me at 12:33 am. The pain is getting worse. Why does this happen to me when I am supposed to be on vacation? AND on a weekend? AND worse at night?
Believe you me there was a LOT of things I wanted to eat today and couldn't because of the pain.
Tonight is my night to sleep and here I am - not sleeping.
I LOATHE my teeth. I want them all ripped from my skull so I don't have to deal with this shiza anymore.
HOLY F@#% I hurt right now.