Thursday, July 16, 2009

what do you want?

My spouse and I were watching Oprah the other day talking about her issues with weight and how weight issues were REALLY symptoms of issues in other areas of your life.
So my spouse and I, as we do, had a discussion about it. Dr. Greene said that you need to ask yourself what it is that you "REALLY" want. I said to my spouse "what do you think it is that I REALLY want?" After a moment of thought she said, "You want to go home."
I have to laugh looking back on the moment because I swear to you I thought I was going to burst into tears.
I DO want to go home.
The problem with that is that my "home" no longer exists.
The country has changed and aside of it being different politically, it is completely unsafe for me to even consider visiting at this time. If it WERE possible for me to visit, It would not be returning "home" because nothing is the same there as it was when I was growing up.
I wish I could call Dr. Greene and Oprah and ask them what the hellfire you do when what you want is not only out of your control but completely impossible and will never happen in your lifetime. What then? I suppose I will have to get some ice-cream and go ponder.

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