Other Mommy

Something that Shel and I discussed when we knew we wanted to be parents (very early on in our relationship) was what we thought our children should call us.

It is something I am sure all gay parents discuss. We talked about options and we came up with different ideas on what we wanted to be called but we always went back to the idea that as the kids grew they would come to call us what they wanted to call us and not necessarily what we wanted to be called.

This non-decision has led to an interesting phenomena in our house now. To our sons we have become "mommy" and "other mommy".

"Mommy" is always the mom that the kids are with and "other mommy" is the one that is away. For the most part, because I am at work, I have predominantly referred to by the boys as "other mommy".

Last month Shel took Max to a doctors appointment in the city. I stayed at home with Cael. Since then Cael has decided that I am mommy and Shel is other mommy. Apparently "other mommy" is a lower status mother than "mommy". Shel has had some difficulty with her relegation to other mommy status. I think it is a bit funny.

I have been thinking about it a bit more recently and wondering if we should try to introduce other titles for ourselves. I don't know how practical it is in the long term to have one of us be referred to as "other".

Then again, Max DID ask me this week if I was a daddy - so perhaps we need to speed up this process of naming ourselves or I may not like what my sons start to call me.