Monday, April 30, 2012
Knocked his tooth out
Max lost his second front tooth yesterday. Trying to find it has proven to be challenging as he is not interested whatsoever in the tooth fairy coming to visit so there is no incentive for him to find the tooth. When I asked him how he lost it he informed me that his brother knocked it out - which his brother verified. I'm not exactly certain how I feel about this.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
I'm climbing onto a high horse about foster parenting. Yup I am.
We have been foster parents for more than six years. We have had a LOT of children placed with us over the years and we have had a ridiculous amount of funny, sad, happy and heartbreaking things happen in that time. Foster parenting is a HUGE commitment and one not to be taken lightly. I am about to say some HARSH things about foster care. You may not want to read!
It is something Shel and I always wanted to do and something we (for the most part) have enjoyed.
There are some things about foster parenting that are so frustrating words cannot express. I have avoided - for legal reasons - ever posting anything about the fostering experience on my blog. For some reason I have recently changed my mind about that and I AM now going to write about some of our experiences.
In foster parent training there is a lot of discussion about "Grief". A child who comes into your home as a foster parent is grieving. For MOST of these children they have recently experienced something profoundly painful. For many of them there has been a history of pain, of loss, of disappointment, but even if they came from a PERFECT home, one in which they were fed, clothed, nourished and loved right up until the minute they were removed and put in your home, they have suffered something tragic and THEY WILL BE GRIEVING.
I personally do not think that there is enough emphasis placed on the grief of foster children. Something that sticks out to me vividly from the training that I was in specifically spoke to the fact that "the younger a child is, the less grief they experience and the faster they adapt." The part about adapting may be true. A youngster might adapt to a new living situation more rapidly than an older child, but there is NO way a small child does not experience grief.
I recall one of the young children who came to stay with us. This child was young, under the age of two - we have had many children this age. This particular child came into our home and in behaviour was really amazing. From the outside it would have been easy to say this child was calm, quiet, good mannered and so forth. What I know now is that this child was in shock. There were no language skills to give any kind of verbal explanation as to what was happening. This child had NO idea what was happening and in all honestly I believe remained in shock for more than a week.
We become so "matter of fact" about what is happening. Worker calls or someone "on-call" calls to ask if a spot is available for placement in your home, driver comes over, driver drops off kid with bag of clothing (sometimes), Driver leaves, ON-call person says they will have worker call in a few days with details, family and new child are left "to adjust to one another". This explanation may seem harsh and may appear as though I am being callous, but EVERY child who was EVER placed in our care was placed in this way UNLESS we were asked to pick the child up ourselves.
The system is BROKEN. A broken system CONTRIBUTING TO broken families and broken children.
It is something Shel and I always wanted to do and something we (for the most part) have enjoyed.
There are some things about foster parenting that are so frustrating words cannot express. I have avoided - for legal reasons - ever posting anything about the fostering experience on my blog. For some reason I have recently changed my mind about that and I AM now going to write about some of our experiences.
In foster parent training there is a lot of discussion about "Grief". A child who comes into your home as a foster parent is grieving. For MOST of these children they have recently experienced something profoundly painful. For many of them there has been a history of pain, of loss, of disappointment, but even if they came from a PERFECT home, one in which they were fed, clothed, nourished and loved right up until the minute they were removed and put in your home, they have suffered something tragic and THEY WILL BE GRIEVING.
I personally do not think that there is enough emphasis placed on the grief of foster children. Something that sticks out to me vividly from the training that I was in specifically spoke to the fact that "the younger a child is, the less grief they experience and the faster they adapt." The part about adapting may be true. A youngster might adapt to a new living situation more rapidly than an older child, but there is NO way a small child does not experience grief.
I recall one of the young children who came to stay with us. This child was young, under the age of two - we have had many children this age. This particular child came into our home and in behaviour was really amazing. From the outside it would have been easy to say this child was calm, quiet, good mannered and so forth. What I know now is that this child was in shock. There were no language skills to give any kind of verbal explanation as to what was happening. This child had NO idea what was happening and in all honestly I believe remained in shock for more than a week.
We become so "matter of fact" about what is happening. Worker calls or someone "on-call" calls to ask if a spot is available for placement in your home, driver comes over, driver drops off kid with bag of clothing (sometimes), Driver leaves, ON-call person says they will have worker call in a few days with details, family and new child are left "to adjust to one another". This explanation may seem harsh and may appear as though I am being callous, but EVERY child who was EVER placed in our care was placed in this way UNLESS we were asked to pick the child up ourselves.
The system is BROKEN. A broken system CONTRIBUTING TO broken families and broken children.
Some good things happen in foster care - believe it or not.
If you google "foster parenting" it is extremely unfortunate that what you will come across is an overwhelming amount of HORROR stories about foster homes. There is this belief "out there" that foster homes are terrible places to be full of people trying to make a quick buck who treat the kids worse than they would have been treated in their family of origin. While I do not dispute that there have been some terrible things happening in foster homes I feel I must make some counter points to the notion that all foster homes are terrible places.
1. There are as many as 85 THOUSAND children in foster homes in Canada. That's a LOT of children. I believe I am an advocate for children. I wish this world were a perfect place but it is not. Terrible things happen to children in this world. Children are hungry, children are neglected, children are abused, but not all of these things ONLY happen to children in foster care. These things happen to children in "good" homes, in "good" neighbourhoods. The media reports on sensational cases. The media reports on things that happen to children in care - and I think they should - but the spotlight is extremely negative.
2. I have yet to find in my internet search, anything positive about foster parenting. Not ONE story. It would be pretty much impossible for a "good" foster home to be highlighted anyway, because foster parents are discouraged from contacting the media in any way. In fact, contacting the media is forbidden if it involves identifying foster children in any way. This makes it absolutely impossible for anything that is positive within foster care to ever be highlighted.
Here's the thing about kids in care. When you become a foster parent you sign all kinds of documents. You won't put photos of the kids in your home on facebook, or on a blog. You wont talk about the children to ANYONE (this is very difficult). The kids, if they are in school and do something really great - like get a student of the month award - are not permitted to have their photo taken for the school paper, for the local paper or be recognised in any way. If they are in a swim club or on a sports team that wins - no photos. NO recognition in any way in the media. So the kids themselves become invisible. I understand the motivation around protecting the children, but the motivation does not take into consideration all of the ramifications for the kids or consider the possibility that the kids might benefit in some way from being recognised (even within the school) for being a part of something positive.
Now I am not suggesting that I am a perfect foster parent. I am not suggesting that every moment in my home is worth broadcasting to the world, but what I AM saying is that foster parents out there are working hard and for the most part doing an AMAZING job and for NO POSITIVE RECOGNITION.
We have had happy dances, we have had student success, we have taught kids about proper eating, about feeding their brains, about playing and laughing and not needing to hoard food. We have clothed kids, nursed sick kids, cleaned up a LOT of puke, done more lice treatments than anyone would believe, we have shaved our heads AS A FAMILY to make sure kids didn't feel like they were different or disruptive. Would you know it - we have even cared for kids once they were removed from our home and placed back with families who reached out to us for help because they needed it and didn't want the "system" involved anymore.
They have a foster parent appreciation week. Did you know about it? Every year it comes and goes and we are reminded about it when we get the monthly newsletter saying " HAPPY FOSTER PARENT APPRECIATION WEEK" but the week has passed without us even knowing.
What I would like to ask is this - the next time you see something terrible about foster homes, think of the GOOD ones. There are some good ones.
1. There are as many as 85 THOUSAND children in foster homes in Canada. That's a LOT of children. I believe I am an advocate for children. I wish this world were a perfect place but it is not. Terrible things happen to children in this world. Children are hungry, children are neglected, children are abused, but not all of these things ONLY happen to children in foster care. These things happen to children in "good" homes, in "good" neighbourhoods. The media reports on sensational cases. The media reports on things that happen to children in care - and I think they should - but the spotlight is extremely negative.
2. I have yet to find in my internet search, anything positive about foster parenting. Not ONE story. It would be pretty much impossible for a "good" foster home to be highlighted anyway, because foster parents are discouraged from contacting the media in any way. In fact, contacting the media is forbidden if it involves identifying foster children in any way. This makes it absolutely impossible for anything that is positive within foster care to ever be highlighted.
Here's the thing about kids in care. When you become a foster parent you sign all kinds of documents. You won't put photos of the kids in your home on facebook, or on a blog. You wont talk about the children to ANYONE (this is very difficult). The kids, if they are in school and do something really great - like get a student of the month award - are not permitted to have their photo taken for the school paper, for the local paper or be recognised in any way. If they are in a swim club or on a sports team that wins - no photos. NO recognition in any way in the media. So the kids themselves become invisible. I understand the motivation around protecting the children, but the motivation does not take into consideration all of the ramifications for the kids or consider the possibility that the kids might benefit in some way from being recognised (even within the school) for being a part of something positive.
Now I am not suggesting that I am a perfect foster parent. I am not suggesting that every moment in my home is worth broadcasting to the world, but what I AM saying is that foster parents out there are working hard and for the most part doing an AMAZING job and for NO POSITIVE RECOGNITION.
We have had happy dances, we have had student success, we have taught kids about proper eating, about feeding their brains, about playing and laughing and not needing to hoard food. We have clothed kids, nursed sick kids, cleaned up a LOT of puke, done more lice treatments than anyone would believe, we have shaved our heads AS A FAMILY to make sure kids didn't feel like they were different or disruptive. Would you know it - we have even cared for kids once they were removed from our home and placed back with families who reached out to us for help because they needed it and didn't want the "system" involved anymore.
They have a foster parent appreciation week. Did you know about it? Every year it comes and goes and we are reminded about it when we get the monthly newsletter saying " HAPPY FOSTER PARENT APPRECIATION WEEK" but the week has passed without us even knowing.
What I would like to ask is this - the next time you see something terrible about foster homes, think of the GOOD ones. There are some good ones.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
People making up words
I have to laugh when people use words incorrectly. I work with someone who does this on a DAILY basis, but correcting the individual would be an exercise in futility.
Yesterday we were talking in the office about the upcoming election and the signs posted all over the community.
The comment was made "I see these signs up all over and have no idea who these people are. Are they even in my consistency?"
Oh, mylanta.
Yesterday we were talking in the office about the upcoming election and the signs posted all over the community.
The comment was made "I see these signs up all over and have no idea who these people are. Are they even in my consistency?"
Oh, mylanta.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Provincial Election Time
It seems to happen CONSTANTLY.
Driving to work I still see elections signs in the ditches that weren't cleaned up from the last election... wait, that was a federal one?
Whoever it is, it seems like elections in Alberta never end. Federal, Municipal, Provincial, there always seems to be signs along the road to vote for someone. First on the side of the road and then in the ditch. (A pet peeve of mine - you want me to vote for you but you don't care enough about where I live to clean up after yourself?)
And yet, this time around, my interest has been piqued. I'm pretty sure it all started when the Wildrose Party unveiled it's elections bus in March.
I personally thought it was humorous. The party received all KINDS of attention as a result of the placement of the "wheels of the bus" including this statement by NDP Rachel Notley, who said the issue is not about sexism, but bad management. "They need to question the quality of their election team in allowing the bus to go forward like that," said Notley.
REALLY Rachel? Come on.
ANYWAY.
The whole bus fiasco brought the Wildrose party onto my radar screen. Who are these people?
I live in ultra-conservative Alberta. How does this happen to me? First Ultra conservative Utah, now ultra conservative Alberta? I am not a fan of the PC party but living here I feel as though the "tradition" of the PC's has more weight in elections than the issues and though I always cast my vote against them it feels a bit futile.
The other night while sitting at home the phone rang. Not anything new. I answered it. Something new! The person on the phone identified themselves as calling from the Wildrose party. Under normal circumstances I would have thanked them, or not, and hung up. I have been mildy interested in finding out who they are though and so I thought I would take a few minutes to have a discussion. The caller asked if I had decided who I was voting for in the upcoming election. I said I was undecided. She thanked me and hung up!
I suppose all they were looking for was a number of people voting, but I think they missed an opportunity to tell me a little about their stance on issues when I was willing to have a conversation.
So I have taken it upon myself to check into who these people are. Well surprise, surprise they are another right wing political party. Having said that I think it is time that the PC's in Alberta are given a run for their money. All is not well in provincial politics in Alberta!
I am interested to see where this election takes the province, and I just hope after all is said and done the signs are cleaned up!
Driving to work I still see elections signs in the ditches that weren't cleaned up from the last election... wait, that was a federal one?
Whoever it is, it seems like elections in Alberta never end. Federal, Municipal, Provincial, there always seems to be signs along the road to vote for someone. First on the side of the road and then in the ditch. (A pet peeve of mine - you want me to vote for you but you don't care enough about where I live to clean up after yourself?)
And yet, this time around, my interest has been piqued. I'm pretty sure it all started when the Wildrose Party unveiled it's elections bus in March.
I personally thought it was humorous. The party received all KINDS of attention as a result of the placement of the "wheels of the bus" including this statement by NDP Rachel Notley, who said the issue is not about sexism, but bad management. "They need to question the quality of their election team in allowing the bus to go forward like that," said Notley.
REALLY Rachel? Come on.
ANYWAY.
The whole bus fiasco brought the Wildrose party onto my radar screen. Who are these people?
I live in ultra-conservative Alberta. How does this happen to me? First Ultra conservative Utah, now ultra conservative Alberta? I am not a fan of the PC party but living here I feel as though the "tradition" of the PC's has more weight in elections than the issues and though I always cast my vote against them it feels a bit futile.
The other night while sitting at home the phone rang. Not anything new. I answered it. Something new! The person on the phone identified themselves as calling from the Wildrose party. Under normal circumstances I would have thanked them, or not, and hung up. I have been mildy interested in finding out who they are though and so I thought I would take a few minutes to have a discussion. The caller asked if I had decided who I was voting for in the upcoming election. I said I was undecided. She thanked me and hung up!
I suppose all they were looking for was a number of people voting, but I think they missed an opportunity to tell me a little about their stance on issues when I was willing to have a conversation.
So I have taken it upon myself to check into who these people are. Well surprise, surprise they are another right wing political party. Having said that I think it is time that the PC's in Alberta are given a run for their money. All is not well in provincial politics in Alberta!
I am interested to see where this election takes the province, and I just hope after all is said and done the signs are cleaned up!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Irony in ordering item from Amazon
I ordered my mom a GPS.
I ordered it from Amazon.ca
It was ordered on March 15th and as of today has not been delivered.
I recieved an email today. This is what the email said
"Order ID/Commande N°:
1 of/sur TomTom XL 340S 4.3-Inch Portable GPS Navigator
-------------- Begin message / Début du message -------------
Hi Julie ,
From shipment trucking info we have noticed that your address on file was incomplete and therefore the post could not deliver your order on March 23. Could you please confirm if this address was correct:
Your mom
Street Address
City, Province
Postal Code
Canada
We can ship it back if you could please provide a correct address.
Regards
Are you serious?
I order a GPS and the shipping company cannot find my moms house?
Perhaps they should have opened the box and used the GPS.
Idiots
I ordered it from Amazon.ca
It was ordered on March 15th and as of today has not been delivered.
I recieved an email today. This is what the email said
"Order ID/Commande N°:
1 of/sur TomTom XL 340S 4.3-Inch Portable GPS Navigator
-------------- Begin message / Début du message -------------
Hi Julie ,
From shipment trucking info we have noticed that your address on file was incomplete and therefore the post could not deliver your order on March 23. Could you please confirm if this address was correct:
Your mom
Street Address
City, Province
Postal Code
Canada
We can ship it back if you could please provide a correct address.
Regards
Are you serious?
I order a GPS and the shipping company cannot find my moms house?
Perhaps they should have opened the box and used the GPS.
Idiots
Thursday, March 8, 2012
the way commercials stick with me
There are some jingles that I would say have been very successful simply because years and years later I can still recall them. Sure I have a strange memory for weird and useless information, but I have to give credit to the advertisers who have come up with some of these things.
Today I was driving to work and listening to the radio, to one of the very few radio stations we pick up way in the north and a song by Stevie Wonder came on.
I am NOT (never have been and never will be) a fan of Stevie Wonder. If I had a choice of multiple radio stations I would have changed it, but I don't so I suffered through the song - as I suffer though many things from this particular station.
As the chorus began I laughed out loud. You see, this song, MANY years ago was used in a commercial. As Stevie sang "You are the sunshine of my life.." I finished it with the commercial at the top of my lungs..." MINUTE MAID!"
It made the painful moment bearable. Way to go Minute Maid on a successful media campaign!
Today I was driving to work and listening to the radio, to one of the very few radio stations we pick up way in the north and a song by Stevie Wonder came on.
I am NOT (never have been and never will be) a fan of Stevie Wonder. If I had a choice of multiple radio stations I would have changed it, but I don't so I suffered through the song - as I suffer though many things from this particular station.
As the chorus began I laughed out loud. You see, this song, MANY years ago was used in a commercial. As Stevie sang "You are the sunshine of my life.." I finished it with the commercial at the top of my lungs..." MINUTE MAID!"
It made the painful moment bearable. Way to go Minute Maid on a successful media campaign!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Lent
Every year as kind of a joke I give up "hope" for Lent.
I am not a Catholic and growing up we never practised Lent or "giving up" anything for 40 days and nights before Easter. I do like the idea of a sacrifice made in remembrance of Christ's sacrifice (even though I do not practise any religion in my life now).
Giving up hope amused me, but this year I decided not to do it. I just want my life in 2012 to be different than in the past, better, more hopeful! and even though it was just a joke I decided to spend my energy putting out positive thoughts and energy and hopefully (ha ha) reap something wonderful.
I was inspired by another blogger Sulli, who set a goal to "pursue things with fearless abandon". So that is my goal.
I haven't actually started yet, which puts me a little behind the 8 ball in terms of deciding what I will actually do and getting down to doing it. I want this Lent period for me to be about creating. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am not a Catholic and growing up we never practised Lent or "giving up" anything for 40 days and nights before Easter. I do like the idea of a sacrifice made in remembrance of Christ's sacrifice (even though I do not practise any religion in my life now).
Giving up hope amused me, but this year I decided not to do it. I just want my life in 2012 to be different than in the past, better, more hopeful! and even though it was just a joke I decided to spend my energy putting out positive thoughts and energy and hopefully (ha ha) reap something wonderful.
I was inspired by another blogger Sulli, who set a goal to "pursue things with fearless abandon". So that is my goal.
I haven't actually started yet, which puts me a little behind the 8 ball in terms of deciding what I will actually do and getting down to doing it. I want this Lent period for me to be about creating. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Letter from Max
Yesterday when I went to pick up the mail there was an envelope addressed to Shel and I.
I recognized the handwriting as Maxies.
He went on a class trip to the post office and sent us a letter.
Inside was a valentine for us.
I LOVE being a parent.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
So much has happened, culminating in a visit to the ER!
It's been a while since we spent a day in the emergency room but our track record ended yesterday when CJ fell through a window pane and cut his knee badly.
He was outside and in his Ski pants AND pants and was cut through both of them. My poor little guy was a real trouper though. AS we sat in the hospital waiting for the doctor he played games on my phone. He REALLY wants a motorcycle, but the time to try and convince Shel of that was NOT while we were waiting to get him stitched up!
I must say that the WORST part of parenting has to be seeing your kids in pain. I held him while the doc was putting in the freezing and he SCREAMED. He was looking at me with these HUGE crocodile tears streaming down his face. I was just holding him saying "Sorry buddy, sorry buddy, it will stop hurting soon."
This morning he said his knee was "good" and Max was following him around telling him not to run, so he will be well looked after these next two weeks as we wait for stitches to be removed.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
making a rink
It's shameful I know, we live in the Great White North and our boys don't know how to skate. Give me SOME slack - neither Shel nor I skate either!
We have in our yard a dugout. A perfect place to teach the boys to skate. It does take some work to maintain an outdoor rink though you know. It isn't as easy as opening a tap and letting water flood the yard. (and I dont know how people do that anyway, I am terrified of pipes freezing)
I decided this year that I need to teach the boys how to skate and since we have our own pond we have the perfect opportunity to do it right in our own yard.
When I got home from work the other evening I thought we would clear off a spot and then this weekend get some skates for the boys. Clearing a spot would have been made easier if I had two things - a shovel for myself (we have one shovel but Max is apparently the "boss" of it and so he would not let me shovel more than one row at a time) and easier access to some water - because even a pond does not have perfect ice beneath the snow. I have a feeling I will know more about pond ice by the end of the winter than I ever thought I would know.
The weather has has been REALLY mild lately, so I also hope it stays cold enough to get some skating done before the ice melts.
Monday, January 30, 2012
family photo day
It is shameful but true, we have no family photos of us all together since CJ was born. We have planned for it, and in the life I dreamed for myself we had family photos often and they are all cool and fun and funky. In real life it is rare that all four of us make it into one frame all at the same time. It is even HARDER now because apparently at age five Max is TOO COOL to pose for a photo at all, let alone WITH people.
My mom is headed to Africa this week. She and her sisters will be visiting family in South Africa at the end of their humanitarian trip and they have put together a family tree - with a photo - of everyone on my grandmothers side of the family for my grand mothers brother. My mom took a photo of it and sent it to us and I was looking at it on my phone (its VERY COOL) and noticed that the pictures of MAx and CJ were actually just CJ. Once as a baby and one recent. I called my mom to make the change asap and we went into rapid fire photo and emailing sessions. I took a photo of Max and it was too big, so took another and sent that. Then she asked for a family photo (which we don't have) so we sat on the floor in our living room and had Max's friend who was staying over take photos with Shel's i-phone. We had to get him to take about 12 - some had people cut off and others were blurry and in the end we got two nice ones. This one I just posted is a little blurry, but it is a photo of all of us! It is nice to have one and we have now resolved to actually MAKE (and keep) an appointment with a photographer to get some nice family photos.
remind me why we do this again?
This weekend we had a foster girl from another foster home come to us for respite. We are STILL not "open" as a foster home, but respite providers do not have to be open foster homes. The little girl is a one year old who is cute as a button but TOTALLY different from our boys. She is quiet! She slept through the night! She is adorable and in love with the boys and they are just as "taken" with her.
Here's the thing with fostering. It is a HUGE PAIN! Don't get me wrong. I have loved the children who have come into our home. We have given our hearts and souls to the kids who have spent time with us and it has been a real heartbreaker. It has been impossible for us to "separate" ourselves from caring for the physical needs of the kids and keeping our hearts out of the equation.
BUT (here it comes).. There is SOOOOO much political GARBAGE that comes with the territory. For instance. The request for us to provide respite for the weekend came in a message to Shel on facebook from the other foster mother. She requested two nights respite from Friday to Sunday evening. The next thing that happens is Shel got a call from someone (I am not clear on who it was, I think the social worker) requesting directions to the house and letting her know the baby was coming on Thursday from an appointment. When the baby arrived on Thursday Shel was informed that she would be picking up the baby on TUESDAY for another appointment but this way it decreased the amount of times the baby would be "shuffled" between homes. You know, I get it. I don't think kids should be shuffled. The lack of communication DRIVES ME INSANE. After Shel get's all the details from the worker she gets a text from the foster mom asking if it is ok for the baby to stay until Tuesday. Through all of the back and forth we discovered that the plan between the current foster family, the social worker and the foster care worker is for us to provide respite for this little girl and to eventually take her into our home on a permanent basis. It would have been nice to have been consulted on the topic! THE SYSTEM IS WHACK people. WHACK.
Here's the thing with fostering. It is a HUGE PAIN! Don't get me wrong. I have loved the children who have come into our home. We have given our hearts and souls to the kids who have spent time with us and it has been a real heartbreaker. It has been impossible for us to "separate" ourselves from caring for the physical needs of the kids and keeping our hearts out of the equation.
BUT (here it comes).. There is SOOOOO much political GARBAGE that comes with the territory. For instance. The request for us to provide respite for the weekend came in a message to Shel on facebook from the other foster mother. She requested two nights respite from Friday to Sunday evening. The next thing that happens is Shel got a call from someone (I am not clear on who it was, I think the social worker) requesting directions to the house and letting her know the baby was coming on Thursday from an appointment. When the baby arrived on Thursday Shel was informed that she would be picking up the baby on TUESDAY for another appointment but this way it decreased the amount of times the baby would be "shuffled" between homes. You know, I get it. I don't think kids should be shuffled. The lack of communication DRIVES ME INSANE. After Shel get's all the details from the worker she gets a text from the foster mom asking if it is ok for the baby to stay until Tuesday. Through all of the back and forth we discovered that the plan between the current foster family, the social worker and the foster care worker is for us to provide respite for this little girl and to eventually take her into our home on a permanent basis. It would have been nice to have been consulted on the topic! THE SYSTEM IS WHACK people. WHACK.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
It could only happen to me.
I had an appointment at the dentist today. In the spirit of trying to do things "differently" I did not cancel but actually went to my appointment.
I arrived, got settled, got my mouth numbed entirely on the bottom - both sides, and the dentist began working.
Getting needles in my mouth hurts me a lot. I am sure it hurts everyone but I think I have hypersensitive cheek nerves or something. When I get a needle it hurts right into my jaw and into my ears and I have such anxiety about it I can literally feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I try deep breathing. I try thinking of other things, but I have no luck in turning my attention to anything other than the stabbing pain in my mouth - aggravated by the dentist shaking my cheek (is that supposed to help or something?)
All of a sudden the dental hygienist says to him 'I have no water". He checked his water and had none. They went into other rooms and checked the water and there was none. The receptionist called the town office and was told that there was a water break and there would be no water for the rest of the day.
He came back into the room, covered up what he had started and sent me on my way to make an appointment to come back and finish when they had water again.
I got a trip to another town, a frozen mouth and another appointment. YAY ME! I have bad dentist karma.
I arrived, got settled, got my mouth numbed entirely on the bottom - both sides, and the dentist began working.
Getting needles in my mouth hurts me a lot. I am sure it hurts everyone but I think I have hypersensitive cheek nerves or something. When I get a needle it hurts right into my jaw and into my ears and I have such anxiety about it I can literally feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I try deep breathing. I try thinking of other things, but I have no luck in turning my attention to anything other than the stabbing pain in my mouth - aggravated by the dentist shaking my cheek (is that supposed to help or something?)
All of a sudden the dental hygienist says to him 'I have no water". He checked his water and had none. They went into other rooms and checked the water and there was none. The receptionist called the town office and was told that there was a water break and there would be no water for the rest of the day.
He came back into the room, covered up what he had started and sent me on my way to make an appointment to come back and finish when they had water again.
I got a trip to another town, a frozen mouth and another appointment. YAY ME! I have bad dentist karma.
Monday, January 23, 2012
things I am grateful for
I am trying to reframe my attitude. I have mentioned that last year really took a toll on me emotionally and my attitude suffered without a doubt. I NEED for this year to be a better year. I cannot control the things in life that happen around me, but I have to do something to hold onto my sanity.
I have always been a huge fan of the concept of gratitude. When I was super religious I had a favorite scripture from a speech King Benjamin gave to his people. King Benjamin was a great king and his people loved him. He erected a tower to talk to them and in his speech he said "And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!"
I tried to make it a daily practise to "thank my Heavenly King".
Years have passed since I was that religious but I still believe that being grateful is important. I have a lot to be grateful for.
Last night I sat on the couch in our living room with my boys next to me. Max was watching a video about Wolves and CJ was playing a motorcycle game on his ipod. In the middle of playing his game, he stopped and leaned over and kissed me on the arm. I said "thanks for the kiss CJ" and he replied, eyes still on his game, "Welcome!"
Such a sweet, kind soul. My heart filled with gratitude for the beautiful family that I have.
I have always been a huge fan of the concept of gratitude. When I was super religious I had a favorite scripture from a speech King Benjamin gave to his people. King Benjamin was a great king and his people loved him. He erected a tower to talk to them and in his speech he said "And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!"
I tried to make it a daily practise to "thank my Heavenly King".
Years have passed since I was that religious but I still believe that being grateful is important. I have a lot to be grateful for.
Last night I sat on the couch in our living room with my boys next to me. Max was watching a video about Wolves and CJ was playing a motorcycle game on his ipod. In the middle of playing his game, he stopped and leaned over and kissed me on the arm. I said "thanks for the kiss CJ" and he replied, eyes still on his game, "Welcome!"
Such a sweet, kind soul. My heart filled with gratitude for the beautiful family that I have.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
When it is -40 C
Winter arrived this week with a vengeance. We have had a SUPER mild year so far and so when the temperatures dropped to fourty below ( which is where the celcius and farenheit scales are the same for those of you wondering) we were not happy.
At work somehow (because how do topics ever come up at work I don't know) we started talking about what happens when you throw water outside when it is this cold.
Well R said that it evaporates immediately. I thought she was messing with the girl she was talknig to and told her she was full of B.S.
She insisted she was correct and so I went to the kitchen, got a cup of cold water and went outside and threw it into the air. Well nothing happened at all so I gave R "the look" which meant - you are a lying sack of @#$ and we came inside.
Determined to prove she was right she busted out the all knowing, all powerful, google search and lo and behold, if you BOIL water and THEN throw it outside the most amazing thing happens.
Kept us occupied for at LEAST a half hour!!
Enjoy :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zdmzt3kplKY&list=UU4chB6OiOd_VDn2l4h3CoNA&index=1&feature=plcp
At work somehow (because how do topics ever come up at work I don't know) we started talking about what happens when you throw water outside when it is this cold.
Well R said that it evaporates immediately. I thought she was messing with the girl she was talknig to and told her she was full of B.S.
She insisted she was correct and so I went to the kitchen, got a cup of cold water and went outside and threw it into the air. Well nothing happened at all so I gave R "the look" which meant - you are a lying sack of @#$ and we came inside.
Determined to prove she was right she busted out the all knowing, all powerful, google search and lo and behold, if you BOIL water and THEN throw it outside the most amazing thing happens.
Kept us occupied for at LEAST a half hour!!
Enjoy :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zdmzt3kplKY&list=UU4chB6OiOd_VDn2l4h3CoNA&index=1&feature=plcp
Reading : Beauty and the Werewolf
I am reading so many books right now it is insane. I have not read like this for YEARS.
WHY?
Because I have been in school. Am I done school you ask?
HELL TO THE NO!
I am procrastinating and I have retreated from the world in the evenings after the boys are in bed and I am reading up a storm. I am not even watching television I am reading so much - and that says SOMETHING about my reading fo sho.
I just finished a book called Beauty and the Werewolf and I LOVED this book, probably because I like a good fairytale. It was part Little Red Riding Hood, part Beauty and the Beast. The female protagonist was smart, hardworking, kind and all around the kind of woman I like to read about. The woodsman and the Wolf were not at all what you would expect from the typical fairytale which was a nice, but predictable departure from the norm. The only thing in the book that was a bit of a distraction was that I figured out the plot early on and knew who was responsible for the spell cast on the Wolf - it bothers me that I am smarter than sorcerers, wise women and others with abilities beyond my own. If I can figure it out, why can't they? This seemed to me more of an adolescent read than an adult one but I really liked it just the same.
I read to "escape" from reality. I have in the past year begun to read science fiction and fantasy books which I had never read before because I was bored with the predictability of the mysteries I had previously devoured. I am enjoying my foray into these new (for me) genres, but there are some things which I have noticed which bother me.
I have yet to read ANY book in which a female character dresses herself in "male" clothing for comfort and functionality but in the process offends some of those she encounters. Compass directions are ALWAYS north, south, east and west which makes sense from the perspective that it gives the reader some frame of reference, but in other ways it is strange that in other worlds, in other times, there would be these exact same directions by the same name.
Another thing I have noticed is that when characters in books undertake any kind of travel, they ALWAYS have jerky and cheese. REALLY? I have read about dragons, witches, boggarts, gurgi, and all manner of other kinds of creatures, but there are ALWAYS cows and cheese - and jerky!
WHY?
Because I have been in school. Am I done school you ask?
HELL TO THE NO!
I am procrastinating and I have retreated from the world in the evenings after the boys are in bed and I am reading up a storm. I am not even watching television I am reading so much - and that says SOMETHING about my reading fo sho.
I just finished a book called Beauty and the Werewolf and I LOVED this book, probably because I like a good fairytale. It was part Little Red Riding Hood, part Beauty and the Beast. The female protagonist was smart, hardworking, kind and all around the kind of woman I like to read about. The woodsman and the Wolf were not at all what you would expect from the typical fairytale which was a nice, but predictable departure from the norm. The only thing in the book that was a bit of a distraction was that I figured out the plot early on and knew who was responsible for the spell cast on the Wolf - it bothers me that I am smarter than sorcerers, wise women and others with abilities beyond my own. If I can figure it out, why can't they? This seemed to me more of an adolescent read than an adult one but I really liked it just the same.
I read to "escape" from reality. I have in the past year begun to read science fiction and fantasy books which I had never read before because I was bored with the predictability of the mysteries I had previously devoured. I am enjoying my foray into these new (for me) genres, but there are some things which I have noticed which bother me.
I have yet to read ANY book in which a female character dresses herself in "male" clothing for comfort and functionality but in the process offends some of those she encounters. Compass directions are ALWAYS north, south, east and west which makes sense from the perspective that it gives the reader some frame of reference, but in other ways it is strange that in other worlds, in other times, there would be these exact same directions by the same name.
Another thing I have noticed is that when characters in books undertake any kind of travel, they ALWAYS have jerky and cheese. REALLY? I have read about dragons, witches, boggarts, gurgi, and all manner of other kinds of creatures, but there are ALWAYS cows and cheese - and jerky!
Friday, January 13, 2012
12 of 12: January 2012
Today was a very sad day in our home as our two year old great dane had to be put down for medical issues. We are devestated to lose him and wish we had options that would guarantee his health and not leave him in potential prolonged pain without guarantee of success.
Hugo has been a significant part of our lives and a blessing in the life of our boys. We will miss him more than words can tell.
When I got home from work this morning at about 1 am Max and Hugo had been sleeping together. Shel took this and sent it to me.
Sitting on the couch before we left for the vet
Checking out a squirrel in the tree with Shel. Where is a dane to sit if it isn't on the couch?
CJ does not want his photo taken (after we got home from the vet CJ bit me!) It has been a long time - over a year since he has bitten. Poor kid is having a tough time tonight.
Looking out the window as the boys go with the neighbours. Max kissed him "lots and lots" before he left.
Trying to take a photo with Shel. She asked if I wanted one and I said no, and thought I might regret it. I already do.
Sign on the wall in the vet office. According to this Hugo was already in his 20's although he did not act like it!
Sign on the wall as we entered the vet office. I thought it was a funny sign, but I was looking for reasons to be distracted. It worked for about 7 seconds.
Picking up the boys on the way home. CJ ran away from us so we picked him up as we drove away.
We heard something under the car so got out to check what it was, but couldnt find anything. (The car was turned off while we all lay on the ground)
The only thing we managed to put together for dinner. Didn't feel like much of anything.
Empty Bed.
The house was really quiet last night.
I hate today.
Hugo has been a significant part of our lives and a blessing in the life of our boys. We will miss him more than words can tell.
When I got home from work this morning at about 1 am Max and Hugo had been sleeping together. Shel took this and sent it to me.
The house was really quiet last night.
I hate today.
Friday, January 6, 2012
If I was...
- If I was a direction, I'd be West.
2012
I was more than happy to see the end of 2011. To put it mildly it was NOT a good year for us. As I sat down to compose a family letter for the holidays I was so discouraged with the happenings of the year that I eventually put the draft letter away and didn't finish it. Finding much to be grateful for was hard. I also noticed the impact it had on my blogging last year. Since I began blogging more than five years ago, last year I posted the least. I didn't want to fill my blog with the things in life that were going wrong, partly because it seemed too personal and partly because I didn't want my blog to be a complaining place that people avoided because it was such a downer.
As 2011 drew to a close and 2012 dawned I was relieved. It was something concrete that allowed me to feel as though a chapter was closing and a more hopeful chapter was opening.
Then on January 1 my grandmother passed away. On January 2nd we discovered that our two year old Great Dane puppy may have bone cancer. I've put my enthusiasm for the new year on hold again. I honestly don't know how I could survive another year like the last one.
I am in such a mental slump I don't know how to get myself out of it.
As 2011 drew to a close and 2012 dawned I was relieved. It was something concrete that allowed me to feel as though a chapter was closing and a more hopeful chapter was opening.
Then on January 1 my grandmother passed away. On January 2nd we discovered that our two year old Great Dane puppy may have bone cancer. I've put my enthusiasm for the new year on hold again. I honestly don't know how I could survive another year like the last one.
I am in such a mental slump I don't know how to get myself out of it.
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