“We have all hurt someone tremendously,
whether by intent or accident. We have all loved someone tremendously, whether
by intent or accident. It is an intrinsic human trait, and a deep
responsibility, I think, to be an organ and a blade. But, learning to forgive
ourselves and others because we have not chosen wisely is what makes us most
human. We make horrible mistakes. It’s how we learn. We breathe love. It’s how
we learn. And it is inevitable."
—Nayyirah Waheed
I read this quote yesterday (on facebook of
all places) and it really has me thinking. I know that I have been both and
organ and a blade. I would hate to be judged in my entirety by my worst moments
and by the pain I have caused others. I know I have struggled with the
understanding of some of the pain I have created for others and it is a
constant journey to accept myself with a
clear vision of the roles I have played both positively and negatively in the
lives of others. Having said that, I am really struggling in my relationship
with my dad. I know I am judging him for what I consider to be one of his worst
moments (but perhaps this is also only my interpretation). I am not finding it
easy to forgive and I am not breathing love. —Nayyirah Waheed
There are so many things happening in our
lives right now that I feel as though the energy I am spending on being
hurt/angry/betrayed by my dad is energy that I need for other things. I need to breathe more love.
Under “normal” circumstances I would not
write on my blog about something that is so intensely personal. I feel as
though I have moved away from the things that I used to use to “process” my
thoughts and I am trying to find my way back to some of them – writing was
something I used a lot in the past. And have not done for a very long time. I
am hoping that putting this down in written form will help me begin to work it
out.
This life is such a balancing act isn’t it?
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