Ten on Tuesday

Ten things to do before you get married.

Theoretically I have a problem with the whole "marriage" thing because unless you are lucky and live in Canada where we do , you CANNOT get married if you are gay. So that would be me, not being married. I am going to suspend my reality for the purpose of this post and pretend that the world is a just and humane place EVERYWHERE and that gay marriage is allowed all over the world and just respond to the damn topic.

1. Be able to be alone, by yourself. Be able to go to a movie and a restaurant alone and not feel like a freak.

2. Pay your own bills. Car payment, insurance, rent, utilities. Have a job!

3. Date lots. Go out with lots of different people and when you find the one you want to marry, date them lots  - but don't stop just cause you get married. Heck, (wow - that was a bit of latent Mormonism popping out of me in that phrase!) I think you should fall in love and get your heart broken at LEAST once so you  have something to compare this "marriage" relationship to, and so that you don't look back 20 years later and wonder if you missed something cause you never loved anyone else.

4. Travel together. A road trip, whatever, just figure out if you are compatible in a small space together for a long time. You shouldn't eat nuts on this trip though. That might be a bad idea, but it will give you a chance to see how they pack and what treats they bring for the road. Are you both talkers? both silent? Do you stop at every road side pull out for a walkabout or do you have to bring your own pop bottle to pee in because you aren't stopping for hell or high water? Do you listen to the radio? Do you listen to books on tape? Do you sing loudly and off key for hours and hours on end? These are IMPORTANT things to know people.

5. Grocery shop together. You wouldn't think this was important but I've seen some doozy fights in grocery stores. I will confess to having been in one or two arguments myself (in the meat department).

6. Fight. Yeah argue. You have to know if the person you are planning on being with for the rest of your known days fights fair and if you can resolve stuff. Don't avoid the "tough" issues because you don't want to ruffle feathers. Feathers will get ruffled down the line and you should know that you CAN get through these times.

7. Cry in front of them. I'm not recommending that you do this with every person you ever date, but before you get married, when you have found "THE" one, you have to cry in front of them. Pull out all the stops. Watch some sappy old movie from the 80's like "Beaches" or something ("Set it Off " worked VERY well for me) and let it all out. Blubber, Slobber, get the whole ugly cry face going and see if they can handle it or if they run away very far, very fast. If you find someone who can deal with your ugly face cry - they are a keeper fo sho.

8. Do your own laundry. Do I need to say more than that?

9. Listen to your friends opinions of the person you are considering marrying. This may seem stupid and redundant and in reality when you are head over heels in love with some jerk you aren't going to listen to your friends anyway because the jerk will have convinced you that your friends are jealous of him (or her) and he'll tell you "of COURSE they are going to try to tell you they don't like him (or her)." But SERIOUSLY... if your friends think this dude (or dudette) is a loser....

 

10. How can I say this....... Know what you like.  If that wasn't clear - then you aren't ready to be married.