Monday, April 4, 2011

Thinking more about why I love Grey's so much

(This may contain spoilers for anyone who has not watched the epidode!)

I have not stopped thinking about Grey's Anatomy since I watched it on Thursday night. I have since watched it about seven times and I am listening to Sara Ramirez sing on youtube all day while I work - over and over again.

I don't think that all people necessarily like musicals, and so that was a turn off for some people. I absolutely LOVE music and musicals and it wasn't a leap at all for me to have music be a part of the show sung by the characters.

Music is so important to me in all movies and television shows and always evokes emotion in me. This episode reminded me in many ways of the movie "She's Having a Baby"  from 1988 and the song "This Woman's Work - (which also had me bawling!)

(The song starts about 3 minutes into this video)

I found Grey's Anatomy to resonate so much with the things I am experiencing in my own life right now as well.

I absolutely LOVE the character of Callie. I think she is hot and sexy and when she started singing.... whew. My dream - a sexy woman singing, it doesn't get better than that for me.

When Meredith and Derek were in the elevator and she was crying about how the universe is so cruel and she just wanted answers, it could have been me talking. My words, My life, RIGHT NOW!

When Shel and I got together over 14 years ago now, being happy was on my mind. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be in a relationship. I wanted my life to be like the lives of the people around me who were dating, marrying, having kids and "living the dream'. Soon after we got together Shel was seriously ill and needed hospitalization and surgery. We had to jump through so many hoops in order for me to be with her in the hospital and for the doctors to treat me as though I was her partner.

For all intents and purposes I was seen as "nothing". Standing outside recovery, wanting to be with the person I loved but instead feeling as though I had to fight the system and fight for every moment I spent waiting, I felt helpless and alone, and as though I was nothing. To actually hear someone say that to Arizona on the show - even though it was said in a moment of anger and even though Mark apologized, in a way legitimized that I am not the only person who has ever felt that or who has ever gone through it.
I felt validated.

I said to Shel (as I watched the show for the second time), being in Canada has changed the experience of being gay for me. When I was in the USA everything about our relationship was a fight for recognition. Here we are in Canada and we are legally married, we have the same name, we have children with our name, we have medical coverage, we have insurance, we have all the things we didn't have when we lived in the USA. When we lived there it felt as though our relationship was tenuous - even though we were committed to one another and actually had a commitment ceremony - we were "other". It doesn't feel good to be "other".

I said it once and I will say it again, this episode of Grey's was amazing to me and I will watch it another 7 times I am certain!

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