Monday, January 17, 2011

Name Changes

Last year  my spouse and I combined our last names to a hyphenated last name.
We have been together for 14 years and we have been married legally for almost 7 years already, so you may ask why we did it now. Well in part we did it because we were adopting two boys and we wanted the boys to have the same last name as we did. In part we have never really been able to agree on what to change our names to.
I think this is interesting because when we married, my spouse filled out the marriage registration form and listed me as the male - the HUSBAND and herself as the Wife. Though it is legal in Canada for same sex couples to marry the forms have not caught up with the changes legally so there still has to be a "husband" and a "wife". It is a bit of a joke between us that I am the husband because people really like to pigeon hole gay couples and it is as though they have a "need" for someone to be the male and someone to be the female in the couple, though in reality it is not so simple. ANYWAY... I have told my spouse that since I AM the legal husband I think she should take my name - and THAT never happened. Then I proposed we take the first letter of her last name and combine it with the remaining letters from my last name and have a blended last name but she thought that was a bit of a joke (maybe because the first letters of our last name are the same?) But regardless of the reason it took us so long to blend our names, we have now done it.
Just last week I had to fill out tax papers and I asked the lady who does our taxes how we needed to fill out this one form and her response to me was that this form was typically for the "WIFE" to fill out. Shel and I laughed about it. I guess since the wedding certificate has made it so - she is the wife!
Today at work I got an email from HR. At work I have legally changed my name to our hyphenated name. So my paychecks come to that name and sometimes mail comes to that name from HR but I really haven't changed anything else - including my email signature. There has been a discrepancy in the work computer world and my login name is still my first initial and MY last name - not my hyphenated name. So they have to change it to make all the files jive, but the logon password to the network only has so many characters so they can't change my logon name to my hyphenated name, just my first initial and my spouse's name!
Too funny. So much for being the man and wearing the pants in the family. (WAIT .... how come SHE gets to be the wife AND wear the pants?!)


Kendra said...

Names are a little trickier when there is not centuries of tradition eh? I understand wanting the same last name as the boys - makes many things in life easier I am sure!

(Love the ongoing husband joke! Can't believe they didn't get new paperwork right away)

Teena in Toronto said...

Congrats! That's so sweet :)

I kept my name when Gord and I got married.

A fella I used to work with combined his last night with his bride's. His last name was Dalley and hers was Kinseson ... and they became the Kinleys!

The Bumbles said...

I hear ya - it is a challenge when both parties are so attached to their names. I always felt that the couple should just use whichever person's name was easier to pronounce and spell :0)

Our friend, in a sign of understanding for what his wife was going through giving up her name for his, legally changed his middle name to her maiden name. So now their middle and last names match. I thought that was sweet.


ok so what is your last name?

JCB said...

Time of my life - you know my last name - it's on facebook!