Monday, July 26, 2010

A letter to underwear makers

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter as a fat person who wears underwear and occasionally purchases new underwear.

I purchase my underwear at a "fat lady store". We could discuss why I am fat, or when I got fat, or how I got fat, but let's just accept for the purposes of this letter that I am currently fat and move on from there.

I recently purchased new underwear and I have a complaint. Why, oh why, do you (and by "you" I mean the designers and fabricators of underwear for fat women) insist on putting little bows on every pair of underwear I can find in the free world.

Let me explain something. I am not wearing underwear to flatter anyone. I am wearing underwear purely for functional purposes and there is no functional purpose for a bow anywhere on my undergarments.

The only thing these little bows do is make another little "bump" underneath my clothing. I don't need anymore "bumps" under my clothing.

When I try to remove the bows, what happens is that the place where the bow was located either 1. begins to fray or 2. gets a small hole that turns into a large hole rapidly. Both of these outcomes force me to purchase yet more underwear with yet more bows.

PLEASE - for the sake of everyone - (and by everyone I mean both fat people and people who have to LOOK at fat people) STOP putting bows on fat lady underwear.


One fat lady considering commando as a legitimate option to "bow-ey" underwear.



LOL-ing Hard out loud!

Retro Girl said...

LOL Well said!!

heheh I once wrote a big post about the darn tags hanging from bras...and how I get nasty papercuts in my underarm area and side of my bosom when trying on multiple bras at the department stores. I mean really---only a sadistic man would design the price/info tags to be hanging where they are! Oh and bras with little bows, or flowerettes in the center are just dorky. Pretty fabric, ok...but I more lumps needed! lol

Holly said...

LOL - I love it!

I, as a super small-busted gal, have the bow problem with bras! It's ridiculously annoying!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Teena in Toronto said...

I want comfort, not little bows!

The Bumbles said...

Oh wow - I think this is the funniest post you may have ever written! I don't like bows either for the extra bump factor - that is just plain stupid. I despise lace even more though - it is itchy and uncomfortable and no one wants to see a Bumble scratching away like that ;0)