The dentist killed my gratitude

This should really be easy for me. I think of people all over the world and the hardships they face and I know in my head that it SHOULD be a whole lot easier for me to find things to be grateful for than I am finding it today. 

I had to go to the dentist and I avoid the dentist like the plague. I won't bore you with the details of my mouth - but I have never (and it was reinforced AGAIN today) had a good experience with a dentist. 

I decided about a year ago I was done. I know my teeth are in bad shape, I literally give myself cavities when I brush them. I have had more root canals than I have teeth, I have had more than one root canal per tooth in my head. I basically decided that I was done with dentists, and when I had a tooth broken enough or abcessed enough I would  just pay to get it pulled. Getting teeth pulled is WAY cheaper than root canals and crowns. (I have actually ground my teeth hard enough to shatter two porcelain crowns.)

Last year I just started having teeth pulled. I had the absolute HACK of a dentist in my town actually pull the wrong tooth, even though I TOLD HIM he was pulling the wrong tooth. He insisted he knew what he was doing and that HE was the professional and pulled the tooth I told him not to. I was back within 48 hours to get the tooth that was causing me agony removed. My dentist luck is so bad that I even get the wrong teeth pulled.

I also have never had the freezing of my mouth properly "take" and I feel everything and have to ask for more freezing EVERY TIME I go in. I make sure to tell the dentist this and they always insist they know and insist I am frozen but I ALWAYS feel it and they have to freeze me more.

I went to a new dentist today because three of my front teeth are getting cavities  and I just cannot justify pulling my front teeth. I only went in out of sheer desperation. 

It is a new dentist and I told them over the phone about u dentist history and woes AND I told them in person about my history and woes AND I told the dentist in the chair that I was extremely anxious and that the freezing never took. 

He was reassuring, he said he understood and would be sure to give me extra and shock of all shocks - he didn't freeze me enough and I was in agony before the first 10 seconds had passed. 

He stopped, froze me more, and proceeded to fix ONE of the teeth broken in my head, but my 1.5 hours in the chair was absolutely brutal. 

My neck and back and shoulders are completely seized. My jaw hurts, my cheek and gums where he gave me needles are bleeding and developing sores. I have such a bad headache I want to throw up - but j pray I don't throw up because it hurts to open my mouth even a tiny bit. 

Then I had to pay. That hurt almost as much as sitting in the chair. 

So right now, through this haze of pain, I'm finding it extremely difficult to find anything at all to be thankful for. I need to find some really good painkillers and try again in a few hours after I'm oblivious.