letter to C-note: 32 months

Dear C-note.
Wowza. You are growing so fast, so fast. When you fall asleep in my arms at night I just want the clock to stop. I just want to hold you. Last night I looked at you laying in your crib and you are so LONG! You called for me int he middle of the night last night. I went into your room where you were sleeping and you reached up to hold my hand. You didn't even open your eyes, you just reached for me. I held your hand for a minute and then you tucked it back under your belly and went back to sleep. I will come to you whenever you call me - even if it is just to hold your hand.
I still remember the little four pound baby that you were when you came home from the hospital. You were so teeny in my arms. When you are ready to sleep you tuck your arms underneath you, close to my body and nuzzle your head into my shoulder and breath a deep sigh and go to sleep. I love you so much that just thinking about it makes my chest hurt. You bring me more joy than I knew was possible.
You smile and you laugh and you wave and everything you do just makes me love you more. You are having a rough time cutting four teeth right now and I am sure your ears are bugging you but you are still so happy. You say "momma", "up", "please" ,"open"(and should I admit your one other word is "coke"?) but your voice even makes me smile. You are getting more and more independent and I love it, but oh I miss how much you depended on me what seems like just a few minutes ago. I know we are getting closer and closer to your "terrible twos" because you are not afraid at all to exert your will, even if it is the form of a tantrum! I find these little expressions of your will amusing right now - probably because I haven't experienced one in the middle of the grocery store yet - but the next year should be an interesting one as you get more and more independent.
I love you my little humpback whale.
Rest your head, close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.
Love mama

change

I have always believed that the only thing in life that is constant is change. I am not generally opposed to change, however the landscape around our home is changing dramatically and not for the better. I would never have described myself as a "tree hugger" (though I am fond of trees to be sure). Yet now the trees around us are being cut down at an alarming rate and it saddens me, so I think I may have stepped over the line and become a *gasp* "tree-hugger. A little late unfortunately because there are no more trees to hug.
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone?

This is what has happened a few hundred feet from our house in the past few days. (I will post some pictures I took over the past two months first so you get an idea of what it "used to" look like)

These two pictures were taken on February 20th:

When I was coming home from work on Tuesday March 23rd I noticed this contraption on the corner. A sign of some things to come, or should I say more accurately a sign of things to come down.

And here is what it looked like yesterday - March 24th:


I honestly do not believe that anyone could possibly justify to me why this is being done. Undoubtedly there are reasons and someone - or a group of someone's - believe this is making some kind of improvement or meeting some kind of need. I simply do not agree.

99 things to do (updated) ...I almost have 50!

1. Sort through the box in my bedroom closet that I have moved to two different households without sorting through.
2. Write monthly letters to my sons. ( I am thinking this should actually count as 24 "things to do" and not one. Depending on how much I get accomplished I may change this later!)
3. Start my thesis.
4. Finish my thesis.
5. Participate in Chad Darnell's 12 of 12 every month.
6. Go to a movie, in a theater, with my spouse.
7. Clean out the bathroom cupboard.
8. Do at least ONE cross stitch project.
9. Get an updated criminal record check (COMPLETED APRIL 2010)
10. Get a carbon monoxide detector for the house. (THIS IS COMPLETE! January 2010)
11. Fence the dugout.
12. Renew my first aid.
13. Find our marriage license.
14. Change our last names - to a blended last name.
15. Send my spouse to see her dad in the USA. (COMPLETE FEBRUARY 2010)
16. Get haircuts for the boys.
17. Take family photos.
18. Finish my stats class.
19. Work on my mom's 60th birthday present BEFORE her birthday! (Unfortunately this was not complete in time to send to mom on her birthday..... FAIL)
20. Get the carpet up off the staircase - remove the staples from the steps. (COMPLETE MARCH 2010!)
21. Get the hallway painted.
22. Lay new carpet on the staircase.
23. Make myself a bookmark.
24. Replace Shels' cell phone (COMPLETE. FEBRUARY 2010)
25. Cancel the contract on my cell phone. (COMPLETE. February 2010)
26. Put up Maxie's toddler bed. (COMPLETE. APRIL 2010)
27. Change the furnace filter. (COMPLETE. January 2010)
28. Hang hooks in the bathroom. (COMPLETE. January 2010)
29. Put together the smart shopper cards from IGA. (COMPLETE. February 2010)
30. Sort the tools.
31. Work on the boy's baby books.
32. Get an electrician quote on the house. (COMPETED MARCH 2010)
33. Hand in all the paperwork for fostercare BEFORE March 31.(COMPLETE March 2010)
34. Take all the furniture from the old guest house to the dump.
35. Get tinkey winkey fixed
36. Teach Max to ride a bike.
37. Box up all the clothes too small for the boys and donate them.
38. Go camping with the family.
39. Take a family picture at Lake Louise.
40. Get a Christmas gift to my parents BEFORE Christmas!
41. Send out a family letter before December 31 2010.
42. Get a dutch oven.
43. Cook a dutch oven meal!
44. Stain the deck.
45. Get a haircut.
46. Submit receipts by March 31. (COMPLETE March 2010)
47. Order Checks. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
48. Update my crim check and hand it in! (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
49. Get an electrician to the house to start on rewiring (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
50. Pay my taxes. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
51. Put the new windshielf wipers on the van. (COMPLETE APRIL 2010)
52. Get a beush for uva and brush her. (STARTED APRIL 2010)
53. Prune. (STARTED APRIL 2010)

12 of 12: March

My 12 of 12 this month did not turn out as I had hoped and dreamed.

12 of 12 is the brainchild of Chad Darnell and you can link to his site HERE and check out other participants.

I had camera issues and then computer issues and I have been battling with them but have given up the fight. I am now posting what I have (even though it starts at the end of the day and not the beginning and the date on the shots says the 14th - it wasn't!) ARG.....

Oh well. I can only hope my 12 o f 12 posts improve over the course of the year ... There are still nine to go!

7:00pm

My boy received his first ever progress report from the program he attends. According to the report he does one thing consistently and without support - he gets ready for snack!

He does this at home also - his favorite snack to make is shakes and he used to drink them. Now he just likes to make them for everyone. (He does get some support at home when it comes to the use of the blender!)

6:55pm

Prepping for the blender.

4pm

Coming home from a ride into town. Dog is my co-pilot.

3:45pm

Unfortunately this does not show what I wanted but I admit I was not getting out of the car to take any pictures - they are all taken through the window. This is another example in our area of trees that have been hit with the dreaded pine beetle. The devastation is incredible and very sad. Some trees in this row are on their way out and usually when a few go they all follow.

3:30 pm

A gas plant. There are more and more of these everywhere you look. Less and less trees and more and more gas plants. I understand the need and I understand the jobs the industry provide. Unfortunately it does not make having one of this in your back yard any prettier to look at - or any less dangerous.

This next photo is not one that I took but it is a photo of a gas plant blowout in our province that happened recently. As far as I know it is still burning.

3:30 pm

On the main highway between our house and town this little house keeps a watch over the development. One we saw a family of foxes in the window which would have made for an incredible picture. Unfortunately we didn't have a camera on hand. I pass this a few times a day - so a dozen or more times in a week. Sometimes I forget how beautiful it is.

3:00 pm

Leaving town we drove behind a trailer moving hay bales. I am still amazed at the lack of snow we have for this time of the year. It is unusual to see this scene so early in the year.

12:40 pm

Look at us with a temperature above freezing!

12:00pm

Stopping in at the local grocery store - which I hate to do because things in town are more expensive than driving to the city to get - but it is an evil necessity. I had the day off today and enjoyed hanging out with the boys. We have a tradition now of breakfast of bacon and eggs but we were fresh out of bacon so we made a trip into town to burn some time and get some bacon.

11:30am

Leaving the house to run to town and pick up some groceries. Maxie now takes off his boots immediately upon getting into his car seat. In just a minute he will have his socks off also. I get it that he wants to be comfortable for the LONG (20 minute) drive into town but it is a hassle to get his "re" dressed when we arrive!

8:00am

Here begin the issues with my camera. I changed the batteries and apparently reset the date to 2007? So I thought I corrected the year but I overcorrected the day and now we are on the 14th instead of the 12th? When did camera's become so complicated or is it just that my fingers are too fat to push the teeny buttons?

This is the windchimes at our back door. I love them and they are beautiful when frosted over.

My goal for next month is to improve my 12 of 12 :)

best day

You know how life sometimes goes along and you get into a rut of doing the same things for the same reasons over and over and over?

Sometimes this happens without even realizing it. I know I have been in one of those ruts because today I came out of it! Today was the kind of day that warms the cockles of your heart, the kind of day that made me remember what it is about life that I love so much.

I work with students on a college campus. There is a LOT involved in the day to day things that I am responsible for that give me opportunity to see the "not so nice" side of student life on a college campus. I see the discipline side of things, the complaint side of things, the side of things that too often feeds into my own "glass half empty" view of life and I can easily spiral into viewing the world in a negative light. Although I like people generally, I also find I get tired of people and I can be quite reclusive, in fact I have to fight being completely reclusive.

Last night I was working late. As I was walking around for the last time of the night I encountered a student in the hallway looking quite forlorn and I stopped and asked how they were doing. What transpired was a long and quite intimate conversation, one that I have not had with a student for a long time. maybe it is because of me, maybe because of the workload, maybe because an opportunity like this has not presented itself for a long time, but I took the opportunity last night to stop and talk. I took the time to engage in the conversation fully and give my time and attention to this student. We had a great conversation and I think by the end of it we both felt good. Today this student sought me out and brought me a plant as a gift and thank-you for the time I took last night. In all the time I have been in this job I believe this is the first time a student has given me something like this. I absolutely love it. I love even more that I had shared between last night and today this experience with my spouse and we had decided together to do something for this student ourselves. We worked together and I had something ready for him when he came with the plant. I had no idea he was bringing the plant - but it was so awesome to have something here that he was not expecting that just further improved his day and his experience here. It was awesome. It made me smile all day just thinking about it and now my new plant is on my desk as a reminder how sweet it is sometimes to stop and engage with someone - even a complete stranger.

Max and I are hanging out downstairs while mom and the baby are trying to take a nap. We are trying to be quiet which is difficult for Max - for not talking he sure does speak a lot!
He never stops making noise and he is "telling a story" the whole time. It is kind of funny but he wants me to look at him constantly so he knows I am listening. He keeps saying "ma, MA, MA, MA!" I am trying to play on the computer and he is hanging out with me in the living room. I put up the baby gate at the living room door so that he would not go upstairs and wake everyone up.
He just explained to me that he needed to open the gate because he had to go into the kitchen and that he would NOT go "up high" (which means upstairs).
Helios came in from outside and Max asked me to put the blanket over his legs so that Helios could sit next to him without poking his legs as he kneaded him. I put the blanket over his legs and it was the longest he sat in one spot quietly all day. His relationship with the pets truly is amazing. he is So gentle and loving. Yesterday we went to the school for a demonstration of sled dogs. C sat in the sled while I drove and then Shel took a turn driving and we hoped Max would sit in the sled, but he would absolutely not sit down on it. Instead he ran alongside! It was cool to drive. I am sure he would have loved it if he had tried it. Sometimes his reluctance to try new things is sad to me because I know he would love some things so much.
He is now playing with the baby gate. I wish he liked movies, I would love to just put in a Disney movie on a Sunday afternoon when everyone was asleep and he was not wanting to nap, just for a little break. Oh well! Such is the joy of parenting a boy.