It seems impossible that it has been three months to the day since I last posted. I can't believe that much time has passed. SO much has happened.
I am no longer working in my former position, where I was employed for ten years. I have a new job, Shel has a new job, the boys are back in school, and we are moving forward and being MUCH more conscious about making our lives healthy and happy and positive. I would be lying if I said I have resolved all of my feelings about what happened and the people involved, but overall I can honestly say I am MUCH happier now and grateful to have moved on and away from what was a toxic environment for me and vicariously for my family. (This is not to say there were not a small number of great people that I worked with)
It was only three months ago that our lives were shaken up and we had some serious decisions to make. starting before the job loss, it seemed that everything that could possibly go wrong, WENT wrong. We had bad news on Shel's health, then bad news on mine. I was out of work, our van broke down, our dog died.... yup, I'm not even making it up about our dog. I could actually go on and on about things that were happening all around us.
I went through some very dark days and would not have made it through them without the most amazing support. Some friends in town picked up Shel and the boys when the van broke down and loaned us a vehicle. We took a trip to the city for some medical testing and had a fun afternoon with the kids in Galaxyland. I quit smoking. Two "friends" I have from blog land but have never met in person (Teena and Michelle) sent words of support which really impacted me in a most positive way. My spouse, my mom, my siblings, ALL of them offered daily support - sometimes hourly! I discovered some friends among former "aquaintances" in this small town who also offered insane amounts of support and positivity. Even my "distant" friends supported me in emails and messages on facebook.
Then I got a monthly newsletter (which I subscribe to) from Carol Lynn Pearson which was so timely and relevant it gave me goose pimples. Here is what she had to say in her own words:
"SMOOTHING THE PATHWAY OF OTHERS. Actually, I've been forced to think about this because the bishop of my ward asked me to speak in sacrament meeting (which I did last Sunday) and that was our theme of the month -- "Smoothing the pathway of others." He specifically asked me to tell the story of my life with my former husband Gerald (which you have or can read about in Goodbye, I Love You.") That was just a small part of my talk. I emphasized that as I was smoothing Gerald's path at the end, there were others smoothing my path, and I believe others were smoothing their paths. That's what we do for one another, you know.I began my talk with a little story I heard long ago -- about the King who placed a large boulder in the road leading to the city and then hid to see what would happen. The merchants and important citizens came by and loudly complained about the boulder and then went around it. Finally a peasant put down his basket and used all his might, finally moving the boulder out of the road. To his surprise, there where the bolder had been was a purse with 50 gold coins and a note written by the king, stating that the gold belonged to whoever cared enough for others that he/she would remove the boulder.We love our stories of heroes removing obstacles for others -- when Superman moves not only a boulder, but a building -- when Schindler moves a deadly boulder from the paths of 1,200 Jewish people.We do that on a smaller scale, you and I. And we don't find a purse full of gold. But what we do find is this -- peace of mind, gratitude, a knowledge we have been of use in this world, and -- very often -- experience that gives us an opportunity to be of use to many others. That's what my experience with my former husband gave me -- the privilege of being able to touch the lives of large numbers of gay people and their families. That kind of opportunity is pure gold.Each of us has different boulders to help remove from the paths of others. And I really do believe that there is some large plan that puts us in the right place at the right time. The boulders in your own path -- and the boulders in the paths of those your meet on your journey -- are perhaps ones that are designed specifically for you. At least that's the belief that helps me when the path gets rough. Thanks for walking with me."
My path has been smoothed by many people over the last three months. Thank-you. Thank-you. Thank-you. One day, if your path needs smoothing, I would be honored to smooth it in return.