Fathers Day When You have Two Moms

In school this past week the kids all worked on crafts for Fathers day. In CJ's class the aide worked with him on a card for his two mom's and he brought this cute card home on Friday.
It is very cool that he is in an environment where his kind of family is recognised and we appreciate the work his aide does with him - we know it is reflective of her and not of everyone in the school.

It has been an interesting few months to see how our boys are processing the idea of being in a different kind of family as they are getting older and more aware of the other kinds of families around them.

On Mothers Day, Shel was outside with the kids and said to them that she needed to get inside and start preparing a meal for supper for me for mothers day. Max was quite insistent that she did not need to do this because she was the FULL mom and I was the half mom. Because I work and am out of the house in the day and Shel stays home, to Max it means I am half-mom, half-dad.

CJ has started to talk about his "dad". He has always been less literal and more imaginative than Max, and in the past he has had imaginary friends. Now when he sees something - a motorcycle, a camper, a cat in the road - he says it is his "dad's". He has told us his dad has black skin and red hair (his favorite colours). When pressed for information on whether or not we can meet his dad, he tells us his dad is dead.

It bothers Max a LOT when CJ talks about his "dad". He initially would tell him to stop it and tell him that he was lying. Shel and I have encouraged Max to leave CJ alone and let him use his imagination. Both boys know they have two moms and have been with us since birth. I think they are trying to make sense of their world, and I hope we are being supportive enough for them to do it in.

Unfortunately Shel's dad has passed away and my dad is busy overseas with his "new" family and so the boys don't really have great father role models in our dads. Thankfully we have great siblings and sibling -in -laws for the boys to look up to as male role models. I just wish they were closer.

In the meantime we will celebrate "two best mom's day" - which reminds me - Max didn't have anything for me on fathers day for being half a dad!? I need to bring that up with him tonight.

Laid to Rest

At work the flag flew at half staff last week in honor of Sarah. She was laid to rest on Saturday. It is still so hard for me to believe she is gone. It is surreal.

365/17 Sarah

Try this: make a list of 365 people whose names you remember and who were interesting to you. And then, if you can, write down a few words about each of them before they're gone from your memory. If you can't do this, it might be wise to spend the next 365 days meeting more people in person who are interesting to you. Learn their names.

Last night a friend of mine was hanging out, quadding, having fun on a Friday night. She stopped to wash off the quad in the river and was swept away by the current. Her body was found today. I am in total shock.
Sarah was an AMAZING person. That seems like a cliche, like something you are SUPPOSED to say about a person who has passed away. In this case it is not cliche, but true.

I have known Sarah for about five years. She works in the housing office on the other campus and I have reason to talk with her FREQUENTLY, many times a week and some times many times in a day. When she sees my number come up on the caller id she answers the phone "Hey, Hey, Lady!"

She is friendly, helpful, kind, and I feel honored to have known her. We always chat and laugh of the phone when I call. On the rare opportunities I have to visit the other campus I always stop in and visit. I have never seen her without a smile on her face. She is a RARE person. An incredible person.

I will miss hearing her voice. I am just in shock that this has happened. I keep checking her facebook status as though all of a sudden she is going to post something and let us all know this is some kind of sick joke and she is ok. I just can't stop thinking about it. This is so insane. Rest in Peace my friend.

Bear sighting

Yesterday afternoon I was driving with the little kids and look what we saw!  I am THRILLED I had my camera with me. I am blessed to live in such a beautiful place.

Gone so long

It's been a while since I was here last. Life has thrown our little family some insane curve balls. At the end of all the budget cuts at the college I came out of the other side with my position intact. It has been a double edged sword to have made it through the cuts and I am still reeling a bit from all the changes. Things have not settled and I don't know how long it will be until they do.
Now for the clincher..... Shel has cancer. The big "C". We officially found out today. Everything has happened quite quickly. We will be getting a call from the doctor on Thursday by noon on what happens next. I don't know yet if I will be blogging though this or not, but I figured I would at least post this so if I am gone from this site for a while then people will know why!