Mothering

We are in the process of mothering two boys. We have had many foster kids in our home on a short term basis, but we aren't the mothers of these kids, just caregivers. (don't get me wrong we love them like they were our own, ask anyone who knows us. It's just that we have them a short time and they are gone again.)

So the two boys in our home right now we hope to be the adoptive parents of at some point. The adoption process is painfully slow, and in the meantime we are moving ahead with our lives and "raising" these boys, happy to have them in our home.

Now I get that parenting takes you out of your comfort zone, challenges and "stretches" you. I expected it. I still don't know how I got to be the "outside" mommy.
Let me explain.

My spouse LOVES the great outdoors. She likes gardening, planting, mowing, Swinging, walking, hiking, taking millions of photographs. She knows the names of birds, trees, flowers, weeds, you name it - if it has something to do with outdoors, she loves it. When she does happen to get "trapped" indoors, she watches the weather channel and reads books on birds, flowers, trees, weeds.... you get the picture.
I am the person who LOVES the outdoors, as far as I can see it from a deck enclosed with a mosquito net. I love to camp - in a camper. I am the mommy who likes to be INSIDE. I like cross stitch. I like flowers when they have been picked and are on the table. I like BBQs, but I like things a little more "pristine" than bugs in my teeth, dirt in my hair, and to be honest, dirt under my fingernails drives me INSANE. I Love the summer because I like the door to be open, the windows to be open and the breeze to come through the house.

We bought an acreage. I like it. I have learned the names of birds and flowers and I am working on trees. I LOVE to watch the birds - through the kitchen window! There is a lot of work to do and I really don't mind any of it because it is OUR yard and I love our yard looking good. My spouse works tirelessly in the yard and every bit of beauty that can be found here will be because of her hard work. I found I like pruning, but I think even pruning is the "cleanest" thing you can do outside. Please don't confuse, BEING clean with CLEANING. When I am inside I am not cleaning, I am simply enjoying BEING clean.

Enter Max. He is 2.5 years old and takes after his OTHER mommy. he LOVES to be outside. he cries and kicks and screams to be brought indoors. When we arrive home together he doesn't even come inside he just stays out and plays. He is a hard worker. And for some unfathomable reason he wants ME to be outside with him. ME! Inside mommy.

I HONESTLY think that my spouse has some pact with him and he gets some payoff from her by dragging me outside constantly. You see, when she asks me to come for a walk I can beg off and she understands it isn't my "thing". I can't explain it to Max. I am his mom. I WANT to spend time with him don't get me wrong. I just want to spend it indoors. He absolutely does NOT want to be indoors. Definitely not. So the past few weeks I have been spending HOURS a day, and by HOURS I mean more than one, pushing him on his trike, holding his hand as he sits at the top of the slide, walking, throwing the ball to the dog, having bonfires (have to confess I like that part) and basically being OUTSIDE.

This is a stretch for me people. I am really having to stretch. I am not convinced I totally love stretching, but I absolutely love my boy and I will do ANYTHING for him. I just never thought it would be this.