Have you ever....

My spousal unit found this on Shell's life and thought it looked like something I would do, so I did it.

Have you ever…

(X) Gone on a blind date (K - theres a really weird story behind this. I was dating this girl - only we weren't "DATING" according to her, so she set us both up on dates with dudes. The guy I went with was a TOTAL loser, and I'm not just saying that cause I'm a homo. I am stll confused about why she needed to set us up with dudes - then again - she did get married)
(x) Skipped School (I'm pretty sure I have but it stresses me out so I can't imagine I did it much)
( ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
( ) Been to Florida (but I will this summer!)
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country (which country?)
(x) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( x) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke ….
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose - or other places!
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors

Ten on Tuesday

10 things I love about my life:

1. My spouse is FINALLY a landed immigrant.

2. I have a great job.

3. We are about to adopt our son.

4. We have a warm house when the wind is HOWLING and the temperatures are frigid.

5. I have a reliable vehicle to get me to work and home again.

5. We have dental insurance - this makes me very happy considering the state of my teeth.

6. My whole family had a relatively healthy winter - especially compared to last year - and we now ALL have health insurance. (thanks again to Canada's practise regarding gay marriage :))

7. I can prune to my heart's content this summer

8. I have good friends and I got an email from D this morning.

9. I can watch soccer and UFC if I want to.

10. We have a nice comfortable, BIG bed.

I dare you to answer them

Another one I picked up from here.

1) What would hurt more: seeing your best friend make out with your ex or Finding out that your ex never liked you?
I don't think my ex ever liked me anyway.

2) When was your last alcoholic drink?
When I went for lunch with my class I had a shot of tequila.

3) Where do you live?
In a house with a 30 year mortgage.

4) What’s the weirdest spot you’ve let someone lick on you?
Lesbians don't think its a wierd spot :)~

5) How many friends do you have?
In this town? Three?

6) Did you speak to your mother today?
Not yet, but she gets to my brothers tonight and I will probably call later.

7)

8)Star wars or star trek?
Star Wars

9) At this very moment what should you be doing?
Returning phone calls

10) How many months until your birthday?
a few more

11)

12) Last person who called you?
Security phoned me at 4 am and again at 4:13 AM this morning. They are supposed to call me for emergencies. What they consider an emergency is NOT what I consider an emergency. ARG.

13) What are you listening to?
Train

14) What color is your hair?
Half blonde and time for a dye job

15) What is the last movie you watched?
Juno

16) Are you mentally disabled?
I am memory challenged. I don't remember things I should

17) Who’s bothering you right now?
Surprisingly, no-one, but it won't be long.

18) What makes you happy?
My son, my dogs getting excited when I come home. Nyx sitting on my lap and purring. Music, Good T.V. , Winning a PS2 game, when someone comments on my blog.

19) Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yup

20) When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
I spoke to my brother Sunday and I will probably talk to him again today.

21) Are you happy?
Mostly.

22) Do you miss someone?
Yes.

23) Have you ever dated a cheerleader/football player and for how long?
I dated a football player and we were engaged for a while.

24) Do you think you could last in a 3 month relationship
I am currently in an 11 year relationship so three months is NOTHING.

25)

26) How good is Coca-Cola?
Not so good recently. Everytime I drink coke recently it tastes like diet coke. Something is seriously wrong because I am not finishing any coke I start. Maytime to give up?

27) Do you drink alcohol?
Since I started in my masters program I have a tequila shot when we all go to lunch every few weeks. Can't say I am a fan of the tequila shot.

28) How old are you?
Over 13,000 days

29)

30) Do you have a dry erase board in your room?
I have a dry erase calendar in my office

31) What does it say?
It has the days of the month on it

32) How was your day, what’d you do?
I got up early, let the dogs out, gave my son a bottle and changed his diaper, drove to work...

33) Are you hungry?
No, but I am eating blueberries

34) What is on your desk right now?
Binders, a laptop, keys, holepunch, stapler, desk calendar, day planner, APA format book, Wrestling posters, pens, forms I need to fill out..

35) When’s the last time you cleaned your room?
Yesterday I picked up the clothes next to my bed

36) Last compliment you received?
I was complimented TWICE on the shirt I am wearing today and that it brings out the color in my eyes.

37) What’s your favorite animal?
Elephant?

38) Are you mad at someone right now?
Nope

39) Are you taking anyone for granted?
I'm trying hard not to take anyone for granted.

40) Where do you keep your money?
In the bank

41) When was your last kiss in the rain?
Why kiss in the rain? It's cold and wet.

42) How did you wake up this morning?
Zuva woke me to let her out to go to the bathroom.

43) Which is more romantic: sunrise or sunset?
Sunset, since I like to be sleeping when the sun is coming up and me asleep is not very romantic.

44) Quick say a verse from any song:
I'm gonna wrack my mind one last time until I cannot think,
I'm gonna dip into my memory and take a good stiff drink
and when I'm drunk on the last thoughts of sadness about how we went wrong
I'm gonna play this song
drink some coffee black and strong
give thanks for healing time
and finally make up my mind
these are the last tears Im gonna cry for you
my cryings through
Im moving on

45) What’s the last bone you broke?
My leg

46) How many letters are in your last name?
Five

47) What book did you read last?
19 minutes by Jodi Picoult

48)What are you excited about?
My mom coming to visit, the summer.

49)

50) Do you have any tattoos or piercing?
Both, and the newest piercing is not healing nicely and it hurts right this second.

51) How do you walk?
Apparently on the outsides of my feet because thats where my shoes wear out. My spouse says I have a very distinctive walk.

52) When was the last time you danced with a boy/girl?
I danced with my son in the kitchen this weekend and in the bathtub last night, yeah the bathtub.

53) When was the last time you were so drunk you threw up?
Never

54) Do you curse a lot?
F&#K yeah!

55) Do you hate your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not as much as I probably should for being DUMPED

56) Do you drink bottled water?
Yeah.

57) Are you happier single or in a relationship?
I don't think I am exceptionally good at being alone.

58) Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
No

59) Most hated food?
Creatures from the ocean.

60) What is the status of you and your first love?
She is married, well she was married when I saw her in 1995 or 6. I haven't seen/heard about her in a LOT of years.

62) What’s your favorite song?
I LOVE lots of songs. Right this second I would have to say..... Come on Home by the Indigo Girls
63) What’s something you wish you could understand better?
Right now I wish I understood Stats better because I will be needing them for my classwork.

64) Would you say you date smart people?
I have dated some DUMB people but I try not to make a habit of it.

65) Have you lost friends in the past years?
Yes.

66) Is life over for you?
Hopefully not. I'm only 13,000 days old

19 months old

Before I start this months letter to Max I just want to give a shout out to a friend.

I know a lot of people don't read this blog. In fact I think there may be three people who read it with any kind of regularity. One of those people is a friend from high school who is currently going through the process of adopting a child with her husband.
First of all , she and I had a great friendship in high school and for a few years following high school until we lost touch. We have recently reconnected (YAY FACEBOOK!) and I am loving having her "back" in my life.
My spouse and I know some of the pain of wanting a child and not being successful and now that we are going through the process of adoption I know the frustration of not having things work out in the way and in the time that we want them to. We went through a situation once of having a child "offered" to us and then everything fell through after we had made a mental and emotional commitment. It was rough and we still have some sadness over the incident. Having said that, we are EXTREMELY blessed that we already have Max in our lives and are not waiting for any more than paperwork (which we HOPE will come through without problems!) I just wanted to say to my friend, in the words of the Indigo Girls " I know love will come to you", you are in my thoughts and everytime that I sit to write a letter to my son, I think of you and pray that your child will arrive speedily, and that until that day comes I pray peace for your heart.


Dear Max,

You turned 19 months old and it has been a crazy month. Earlier this week I was folding laundry with your mom and I couldn't believe how big your clothes are. You aren't the little baby who was too small to fit in anything we could find anymore. Your shirts are already sizes two and three and your feet are gargantuan.
We had a few days of really nice weather last week which turned out to be a curse because you apparently LOVE being outside and you don't care now that it is snowing with a windchill making the temperature dip below -15 degrees. You want to go OUT. That has made life a little bit hard on your mom these past few blustery days. Thank goodness you haven't yet figured out how to open the front door (not for lack of trying). I have had to rescue you already from some puddles which were a bit deeper than you realized before plunging in, but you remain undaunted. I just hope its a short and relatively mudless spring, but looking out the window tonight I think resistance is futile. (That was a science fiction reference for your mom's sake).

You have learned to zip and unzip, which means you are taking your clothing off a bit more frequently. The weather has made this a bit of a problem also - as illustrated by your BARE FEET in the photo above.

Which brings me to something I wasn't going to mention but here goes. When we met with the adoption supervisor she said that she understood our "hurry" to adopt you because we wanted to "start parenting you OUR way". I don't know exactly what that means, because we have parented you OUR way since the day we picked you up, and we will continue to do so until long past the time when you want us to anymore. That means I will be putting those shoes on everytime we leave the house, no matter how much you scream!
We are counting down the days until you meat your Granny Byrne. You did meet her once when you were three months old, but you haven't seen her since. Because we are taking a LONG road trip to pick her up we are VERY happy that your early negative experience in the car (translate: SCREAMING) seems to have passed. If not, granny can sit with you in the back on the trip home!

This month seems to have been one filled with a lot of good things. Mom figured out you like sweet pickles - HURRAH! - feeding you takes up a lot of time still as we try to negotiate around your allergies and your preferences. You are feeding yourself with both hands and doing WAY better at keeping the food on the fork or spoon as it heads to your mouth. For some reason you have decided that drinking babyfood is much more fun that using a spoon. We'd like to take you off the babyf ood but buddy, you don't eat ANYTHING, so corn casserole it is until we can figure out something else.
You are fascinated with all things electrical and related to the pets. I'm pretty sure you'll be hacking into computers before you can talk because you seem to know exactly what button to press to freeze everything or to start all kinds of programs running while I am trying to read email. Thanks for that. Now if only you could download some good movies for me in between moving the dog water back and forth across the kitchen floor and turning the dishwasher on and the lights off.
You still are having night terrors and while I hate that you wake up crying, I LOVE that you want to snuggle with me when I come to see what's happening. You are just SOOO big, but still my baby. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.

Love mom.

Unconscious mutterings

1. Questioning :: identity
   
2. Immunity :: survivor
   
3. Online dating :: fake photos
   
4. Calcium :: strong bones
   
5. Dressing :: Blue cheese
   
6. Bucket :: There's a hole in my bucket
   
7. Stain :: You left a stain on every one of my good days.
   
8. Advanced :: degree
   
9. Dramatic :: entry
   
10. Self-medication :: Ibuprophen 800
    

time passing and other stuff

The other day as I was leaving my office I looked at the plaque I have hanging from when I worked in youth corrections. The plaque shows the years I was employed there and it got me thinking about the time I have spent at various jobs. I can't believe how much time has passed already since we moved to Canada. I have now been working out of this office for as many years as I worked in youth corrections. That seems bizarre to me.

I really feel as though my time working with youth changed me. Partially I think I matured just because I was getting older, but I learned some things while I was working in a facility with troubled youth. The actual work was something that really challenged me.

I was assigned to advocate for kids I didn't like and had to learn to put aside my personal feeling to be the best advocate I could be for them. I had to work with a team whose strategies were not always my own when it came to dealing with issues. I had to apologise when I was wrong and sometimes when I didn't think I was wrong. On one occasion I got into a huge fight with someone who I now consider to be a very dear friend - and it brought us closer. I wasn't the boss or in charge of anything - other that serving dinner, or supervising clean up or occasionally dispensing medications. I learned more about drugs and sexually transmitted diseases than I think I need to know to live my life.

I experienced the consequences of other peoples poor choices (being punched a few times by a kid MUCH larger than me because of another staff's poor decision) and I knocked the wind out of myself horribly sledding down a mountain trying to "keep up" with the kids on another occasion.
I laughed a LOT and even cried once or twice.

I had to learn to not take things personally, which was a huge challenge to overcome, but somehow I "got it". I was able to become a trainer for control techniques to use with out of control kids and there are some strategies I actually learned to apply to my life.

I certainly left feeling as though I had gained something from what I was doing, even if I don't know that I ever made a difference in any of the kids lives. It feels like I learned a lifetime worth of lessons in what now looks like such a short time spent there.

I got to be pretty good at ping pong.
I watched the twin towers fall with a room full of kids.
I saw Sunny Al Roker filming the weather at the Winter Olympics.
I had a chair thrown at me.
I had poo thrown at me.
I threw a massive tantrum on the floor in a bedroom and calmed down a kid who had been out of control for hours.
I once told a kid it was better to just go ahead and do drugs than to drink the bleach he was drinking to try and cover it up.
I played football.
I played basketball.
I went to comedy nights.
I folded a LOT of laundry.
I ate gross food.
I played a LOT of card games.
I taught anger management.
I taught positive control.
I went to conferences in cool locations.
I loved a boy who no-one else loved.
I heard of a youth dying a young and tragic death after "aging out" of a system which failed to meet her needs.
I gave a lot of lice treatments.

It became a huge part of my life and I am glad I was able to spend the time there when I did, with the people I did.

Friday Fill in's

You can link to Friday fill in's here

1. The last time I lost my temper I saw red, I saw red and then I closed the door! (thanks to Warrant for this song)
2. Cold freaking weather and windchill is what I'm fed up with!
3. The next book I'd like to read is The Lorax by Dr Seuss.
4. My mom coming to visit is what I'm looking forward to.
5. If you can't get rid of the skeleton[s] in your closet, nail the door shut and walk away!
6. The best thing I got in the mail recently was Curve Magazine that actually is my spouse's subscription.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to finishing my homework, tomorrow my plans include watching UFC and Sunday, I want to nap and hang the bedroom door!

Thursday thirteen

You can link to Thursday Thirteen here

For all intents and purposes I am an indoor person. I like to read, sleep, watch tv and cross stitch, surf the web and do other things that keep me indoors.
My spouse on the other hand is an outdoor person. She would spend all day, every day outside if the weather permitted (I had to say weather permitting because some days where we live it is -50 degrees!)

This summer we are spending the first summer in our OWN (bank owned) home and 5 plus acres. I have been getting excited about all there is to do outside. Here are some things I am looking forward to doing this summer.

1. Planning my rock wall. I have always wanted to build a rock wall and never had anyplace to put it.
2. Planting bulbs, flowers, and a vege garden.
3. Pruning. I have enough trees to keep me pruning for a lifetime. I want to take a chainsaw safety course so I can bust out a chainsaw and so some serious cleaning up of deadwood on our property.
4. Mowing. We have a LOT to mow, and my spouse likes to do it also. I think we may need to get another mower because of all the stuff we have to mow, and to be realistic we need a ride on mower but I don't know if we will get that this year.
5. Painting the barn red.
6. Researching and installing a windmill for our dugout.
7. BURN PILE.
8. Just north of the barn there is a building which has collapsed. Currently there is a PILE of wood, tin, nails, and who knows what else. I want to clean up this pile.
9. Plant trees
10. Fix up the fire pit.
11. Start cleaning up the underbrush.
12. Starting on a fence around the dugout. We need to do this because of the little one we have who is FASCINATED with water and the fact that we are foster parents dictates that we have to have some kind of barrier around the dugout.
13. Underfilling the cement pad around the barn. Our barn used to be a dairy. There was a place where trucks could back rught up to the doors to load and unload. When the dairy closed they "backfilled" the holes but it was not done well and is a bit of a hazard.

Question of the week

1. Were you named after anyone? yes
2. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no
3. What is your shoe size? boat sized
4. If you were a flower, What flower would you be? lilac?
5. What is your fave smell? I like a lot of smells. Fresh cut grass, BBQ, after the rain, vanilla
6. Which do your prefer scary movies Or happy endings? I don't even watch scary movies
7. Last movie you watched? Juno - LOVED IT!
8. Do you prefer hugs Or kisses? kissing
9. Favorite Dessert? probably biscuit pudding or vinegar pudding or milk tart. (My mom is visiting soon and I am regressing here to my childhood)
10. Look to your right, do you see a yellow color? no yellow to my right. Wait, which is my right?


I am doing this this week for the first time, if you are interesting in doing it for yourself, link to it here.

driving to work

We have moved out of town after a 10 month failed attempt at town dwelling and I am bck to "commuting" to work. I actually smile when I compare my trip each day to the trips other people in my family make to work and back. I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that one of my uncles (in southern Californa) was in his car for 2 hours each way to his place of employment. (I will check that statistic just to be sure).
When we lived in Utah we were very spoiled because I worked within blocks of where I lived and even my spousal unit who had to travel to another city for her job was only on the road for 15-20 minutes. I have always lived and worked in close proximity and so having to drive was a turn off for me when we were looking for places to buy outside of town.
Time certainly changes perspective though. When we first arrived here and were looking at properties, we would follow the realtor to the various locations and all the way there and back we would comment on just how FAR away these places were. Our current abode (where we are paying a mortgage for the next 30 years) is FURTHER than some of the houses we declined because of "distance".
Now from my front door to my office takes me about 20 minutes if I am honoring all the traffic laws - by that I mean coming to a full stop at two stop signs. ( HA! To those of you who thought I meant speeding!)
One of the things I LIKE about my "commute" is that I get to listen to the radio at top volume and rock out. Unfortunately I have a limited choise of radio stations, no CD player and no tape deck and I don't listen to country music which further limits my options. We do have some pretty decent radio stations up here though and I flick back and forth between them.
I pride myself on knowing, and liking, a WIDE range of songs but yesterday when I got into tinkey winkey a song that just annoys me was playing which made me think this was a good topic to blog about.
Here are a few songs I just cannot stomach listening to, do you have any?

"Say" by John Mayer

Honestly, I wish he would have said what he needed to say in the first refrain and then STOPPED repeating himself. I want to say to him "QUIT IT".

"Tattoo" by Jordin Sparks

Sometimes the lyrics of a song just annoy me. This is one of those cases. Like a tattoo on my heart. Does that seem wierd to anyone else? I KNOW it's a metaphor, but it's a dumb one. You can't tattoo a heart people.

"La Bamba"

I don't really have a reason for hating this song. I just do.

wordless wednesday

something got into me

I don't know what happened to me last night but something sure got into me.
When I got home from work S asked if I would take the baby out so she could make supper and we could get some playtime in. We went outside for a while and played and shovelled more melting snow away from the house. Puddles have some kind of magnetic pull on the little man because he gravitates to them like moths to a flame. Of course I was wearing sandals again so I just "supervised" him in the water and didn't try to retrieve him.
We had supper, called and sang happy birthday to my niece, bathed and got M into bed. This is the time of day when I usually vege out. Once M is in bed I consider my day to be pretty much over. Not last night. Maybe S put something in the bacon?
I cleaned the bathroom (sans floor and tub), put some loads of laundry in, folded some loads of laundry, put together some lamps we bought for our very dark living room, put together the lamp shades (and spent some time wondering who comes up with the designs for these things anyway), and I hung a shelf in the living room for one of our plants. Seriously now. What came over me?
Oh RIGHT - I have a major paper due Saturday!

ten on tuesday

This weeks topic for Ten on Tuesday:

Ten favorite Comedy movies. Here are mine in no particular order.

1. So I Married an Axe Murderer.
2. Happy Gilmore.
3. Dumb and Dumber.
4. Waynes World.
5. Tommy Boy.
6. Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
7. Princess Bride.
8. Zoolander.
9. Austin Powers.
10. Monsters Inc.

how I frequently feel

Thanks to CourtneyRyan for this.

20 questions

I found this here, she got it from Gertrude Grannypanties.


Here's mine:

What is your superpower?
Superstrength

Who are you most like in life?
I think I am a lot like my dad. I would in the past have said my mom because she is more expressive with her opinions etc, but recently I have been told I am "quiet" (who would ever have thought that word was used to describe me - I've come a long way from brownies where I was called "chatterbox"!)) and that I turn inward to deal with stress which is a lot like my dad. Both of my parents are workaholics so I get that from both of them. I watch tv like my dad and read like my dad. I also have a sense of direction like my dad. I don't like to shop like he does though.

Do people ever tell you you look like a celebrity?
When I was skinnier and had long hair people would tell me all the time I looked like Steffi Graf. That was a LONG time ago.

What are your views on weddings?
I have had one. They cost a lot of money and they are very stressful. I think the idea of gathering friends and family to celebrate a union is a cool idea. Someone should come up with a way that is less expensive and more meaningful. Weddings shouldn't be an "industry".

What was the last book you read?
The last book I read was by JA Jance and it was forgettable. I just finished "19 minutes" by Jody Picoult. I typically enjoy her books but this one for me was a downer. The topic was a school shooting. I don't know if I've just watched too much of that on tv or what, but it was extremely predictable and even the "twist" at the end I saw coming for days. I was disappointed in it.

Who is your hero?
My parents are my hero's.

What are five songs that would be on the soundtrack of your life?
I'm going to have to think about this for a while and get back to you.

Have you ever been burned?
Yes


What is your worst habit?
Picking

What is the best lesson your parents taught you?

I can do anything I set my mind to.

What are three things that hang on your walls?
Clock, Africa batik, too many mirrors.

Who do you think will actually WIN the presidency? Will it be the right choice?
I have a feeling it will be McCain but I wish it were a democratic nominee.

Is your bed made right now?
Yes, and there are probably at least two cats asleep on it

Where would you like to wake up in the morning if you could be anywhere?
Africa

Do you do anything creative?
I used to draw, I have had some of my poetry published and I love cross stitch. None of which I am doing currently but I should start up again because I enjoy it.

What would you like to be doing in five years if there were no limits to who you could be?
In five years I will have my masters degree. If I could be anywhere, doing anything I would love to be running a bed and breakfast with my spouse and teaching.

Why Craigslist?
Actually I don't do anything on Craigslist.

What is really the greatest thing about meeting someone new?
The potential of making a new friend. ( that was a cheesy answer. I don't really like meeting new people and when I do meet them I am not likely to make a new friend!)

If you didn’t have to work, would you?
Yes. I would work at least part time. I like working.

What are you doing to make less of an impact on the earth?
Probably not enough but my spouse recycles like mad and I married her so does that count?

Unconscious mutterings

1. Silence :: "Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel
2. Wall :: "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd
3. Killed :: "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles
4. Wishful :: "King of Wishful Thinking" by Go West
5. Poodle :: apparently noone has sung a song about poodles. I can't imagine why.
6. Sullen :: "Sullen Girl" by Fiona Apple
7. Do not disturb :: "Do not Disturb" by Bananarama
8. Philadelphia :: "Streets of Philadelphia" by Bruce Springsteen
9. Anticipation :: "Anticipation" by Carly Simon
10. Sidewalk :: "Sidewalk talk" by Jeallybean featuring Madonna
    

friday fill in

1. I love springtime in my yard!
2. Eggs over hard with the yolks broken, OJ, or a bacon egg and cheese mcmuffin are foods I love to eat for breakfast.
3. It seems I'm always searching for television remote controls.
4. Going to sleep is a great way to end the day.
5. I think I didn't get enough sleep last night!
6. Mexican food is what I've been craving lately.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to bed early, tomorrow my plans include getting out of the house and Sunday, I want to take a nap!


You can check out friday fill ins here.

thursday thirteen: favorite disappearing shows

Thirteen Things about lovesmukiwa I like to watch tv. I watch a lot of tv. One of the things I hate is watching a show, typically a pilot, which you watch just long enough to get into and then it all of a sudden disappears with no word from the network. No letter to my house saying, "We appreciate your support of our show but we will no longer be airing it. You will never know what happens to the characters or to the plot." Right up there on things that annoy me is when networks decided to change the night and time of a show I am following with the same lack of information about the change. Sometimes, just to REALLY get under my skin, they will end a season and not tell you that the series is ending. I think there's a room in hollywood, where producers meet to consider ways to mess with my mind. It works. Whoever they are I'd like to send them a letter.... Here are some of my favorite "disappearing shows" 1. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip The writers from West wing write this GREAT script. I know that there was a lot of mixed reviews of the show, but I just appreciate good writing. West Wing was another loss (in my opinion) from the tv lineup. 2. Life I don't actually know if this show has been cancelled or if it has just moved to another network. My hope is that it has moved to another network and that I will be able to track it down. 3. Freaks and Geeks If you have a chance to ever see any of the episodes of this show I would highly recommend it. 4. Smith Smith had Ray Liotta as a main character. I could watch Ray on mute and enjoy him. 5. Journeyman This show was one from this season which just "vanished". Maybe the writers went back in time and didn't return. 6. The Education of Max Bickford 7. Boston Public Boston Public for me was like "Fame" for others. I love shows set in schools. (see Max Bickford and Freaks and Geeks) and this cast was excellent. 8. LAX I put this in as a shout out to my partner. I was not as huge a fan of this show as she was, but I would suffer through it. 9. Life With Bonnie Bonnie Hunt makes me laugh and this show was completely enjoyable even if it was a bit simplistic. 10. Blind Justice This was one of the best new shows (in my opinion) of this seasons pilots. Really, if writers can come up with years and years of a show called "24", then they could write a poop load about a cop who has lost his sight. It was great. 11. American Dreams This in one where the season ended and then it just never came back. 12. NYPD Blue I have to include these last two because they were both shows whose ending was announced in advance, but in my opinion they never should have been taken off the air. Really. If we can make year after year of stupid shows like "the apprentice" can we not keep GOOD tv shows on air? 13. Third Watch I absolutely LOVED this show. The only thing worse than the show being cancelled was the last episode. The way the story was "concluded" was a total letdown.

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adoption meeting

I posted a few weeks ago about a meeting with our adoption worker that we were not really happy with. Well we made an appointment to talk to the supervisor (who cancelled one meeting, and rescheduled for today) and we went this morning to another town to talk to her.
Well, this meeting was as frustrating as the first one. We knew before we went in that the supervisor was likely to defend her employee - as a supervisor that's what I would have done - but we certainly didn't expect what we got.
I think, in their defense, that social workers tend to be listeners. It takes a certain kind of person to be a social worker. I am not criticizing people who listen, however when I want solutions and answers, talking to a listener is not likely to produce the kind of results I am looking for.
One of the first things she said to us was "I haven't looked at your file." I wish I would have clued in at that minute and said, "Ok, CAN you look at our file please?" It doesn't make any sense to me that when a family calls to say they have a problem that you wouldn't pull the file and look at it.
The meeting did not unfold as we expected. The supervisor DID defend the new worker and say she was overworked and had too many files and that some things were being done to eliminate the burden she is under. She didn't do anything or offer any suggestion as to why the worker didn't ask us for the paperwork that was missing (that we found out from a foster worker). She didn't offer us any idea on when things would be moving forward on our file.
She listened.
I've been to training sessions over my years in youth work and in the position I hold currently that teach the importance of listening. I think it is a valuable skill. I didn't want to be "listened to" today. I wanted some solutions, some information, some idea of what was happening to move our file forwad. We got nothing.
This process is HUGELY frustrating.

freerice.com

Check it out.
Spend some time.
Make a difference
www.freerice.com

ten on tuesday

This weeks topic: Ten favorite actresses/actors.

1. Dame Judy Dench
2. Angelina Jolie ( I bet that was a shocker)
3. Frances McDormand
4. Tyne Daly
5. Morgan Freeman
6. Wilson Brothers (A bit of a cheat to include them as one!)
7. Kathy Bates
8. Tim Robbins
9. Giovanni Ribisi
10. Neve Campbell

a tough day at the office

new puppy

We are suckers

skilled drinker

We have a tradition of going out to breakfast once a week as a family.

My main man is developing some mad skills.

unconscious mutterings

Nutritious :: delicious
Graduate :: Tom Cruise
Tonight! :: tonight, tonight (song)
Located :: found
Weapon :: of mass destruction - HA!
Jumper :: movie that I want to see
Collectibles :: dust collectors
Dennis :: Hopper
Hostile :: takeover
Vivid :: imagination

Ear Piercing

On Saturday afternoon I got my ear pierced again. I am getting a spiral put in, but in order to have that done they have to make three holes and they have to heal first before they can go in and put the spiral in.

The last time I got my ear pierced they used a little gun thing and it was a snap and some stinging and all done. For this one, because it is through the cartilage, they use a hollow core needle and they actually core out the cartilage. Of course, it has to be done three times, with three different needles and they have to PUSH the suckers through my ear.

I didn't look at the needles before hand (good thing).

It was the most painful piercing I have ever had. It hurt more than any of my tattoos. It REALLY hurt. REALLY.

friday fill in

1. Tonight I saw one of the most bizarre movies I have ever seen - and I don't know If I mean "good".
2. Music makes me wanna dance!
3. Splitting a few appetizers between friends doesnt last long when they only bring me two mozza sticks.
4. I don't know anyone I'd like to get to know better.
5. The smell of mud reminds me so much of springtime!
6. I fell asleep and that made it all better.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to a movie, tomorrow my plans include piercing and Sunday I want to take a nap.

unconscious mutterings

Stuffed :: peppers
Gills :: fish
Distance :: running
Panties :: granny
Checkered :: flag
Fill in :: the blanks
Taunting :: you a second time
Diner :: not in this town
Pizza :: Ogden Pizzeria
Best friend :: BFF

Letter #2

Email has really taken the place of letters for many of us.
My dad is not one to hand written notes or emails, so when something arrives from him it is always exciting.
He sent me an email this week.

Here it is (in italics), I copied it right from the email and did not just write it here.


Julie, Julie, Julie,


I love you
DAD

Book "Written in Bone"

I recently completed the book "Written in Bone" by Simon Beckett.
I absolutely loved it. I read so many books in a year, even in a month, that once the book is completed and put away it is easy for the topics, the stories and the characters to run into one another. I enjoy murder mystery books and I read a lot of them but they all seem to have a similar format:

Murderer on the loose, search for clues as to who the murderer is, figure it out just in time or just too late, murderer discovers he/she is being followed, murderer turns on people who are following.

This book by Beckett has some good plot twists that left me right at the last page saying outloud "No WAY!"

ten on tuesday

So I know it is Wednesday but I am posting for my ten on tuesday anyway.
This week the topic was "Ten things you would fix in your home (if you had the time and money)"

If I had the time and money I would probably gut the whole house and just rebuild completely but I don't think that was the point of the question so here goes:

1. Reroof
2. Extend kitchen/living room to one area
3. renovate downstairs bathroom
4. build a wrap-around porch
5. expand each bedroom to include CLOSETS
6. build up the second floor to include a bathroom and another bedroom
7. paint the submarine grey walls
8. install new kitchen cabinets
9. reinsulate
10. take down the cottage cheese ceilings

Nap time

On Sunday afternoons one of my all time favorite activities is to take a nap. In fact, ANY afternoon one of my favorite things to do is to take a nap. This past Sunday I was indulging in my favorite pastime when I was woken suddenly and violently by a cat, swatting me in the face.

I was dozy but indignant, my spouse thought it was hilarious. Apparently my cat Nyx, was laying at my face just watching me sleep for about five minutes. I happened to be snoring while she was watching me and I guess she had enough of my snoring because she just swatted me right in the face.

Sheesh. And I was sleeping so peacefully.

Letter #1

This month on NaBloPoMo the theme is "letters".
I participated in the NaBloPoMo in November blogging every day of the month and loved it. I was REALLY looking forward to doing it again in March when I realized I could do it every month and that the peeps at NaBloPoMo were posting monthly themes. Last month the theme was "lists' (which I LOVE) but I missed the first day and since I have a "touch" of obsessiveness, I decided that it was pointless to start a daily posting when I had missed the first day.
I am now starting on day number one of APRIL, with a letter which I have scanned from a boy in elementary school. My mom kept the letter. If it is too hard I will write down what he wrote under the picture. I hope you can read it.

Nan 1 yr

Nana has been gone from us for one year already. In many ways the time has flown by and in others it feels like a lifetime since I have heard her voice. I miss her as deeply today as I did a year ago.

meme. "If I were..."

If I were a direction I’d be…. north west.
If I were furniture I’d be… a lazy boy recliner.
If I were a liquid I’d be… mercury.
If I were a sin I’d be…. pride.
If I were a gem/stone I’d be… aquamarine.
If I were a metal I’d be…. copper.
If I were a tree I’d be…. a baobab.
If I were a fruit I’d be… a mango, definitely not a kiwi because who would pick up something round and covered with hair and eat it?.
If I were a flower I’d be….african violet
If I were weather I’d be…. Partly cloudy with a high of 25 degrees and a chance of late night showers.
If I were a music instrument I’d be…. plucked and strummed a lot.
If I were an element I’d be.... sodium.

If I were a color I’d be…. green (or purple or blue)

If I were an animal I’d be…. an elephant.
If I were a sound I’d be…. singing.
If I were a lyric I’d be… "come on home, the team you're hitched to has a mind of it's own, it's just the forces of your past you've fought before, don't you recognize them anymore, I'm stacking sandbags against the river of your troubles."
If I were a song I’d be… 3am (Matchbox 20) - but this changes for me a lot.
If I were a music type I’d be…. acoustic anything
If I were a perfume/cologne I’d be… CK ONE

If I were a feeling I’d be…angry

If I were a book I’d be…a classic.

If I were food I’d be… Mexican.

If I were a city I’d be… Seattle, Washington.
If I were a taste I’d be…salty.
If I were a scent I’d be…vanilla.
If I were a word I’d be… breathe.
If I were a verb I’d be… growing.
If I were an object I’d be… a book.
If I were a piece of clothing I’d be… boxer shorts.
If I were a body part I’d be… skin.
If I were an facial expression I’d be… a scowl.
If I were a cartoon character I’d be… Asterix
If I were a movie I’d be…Crash.
If I were a geometrical figure I’d be… a dodecahedron
If I were one of the 4 seasons I’d be… late summer
If I were a sentence I’d be…"hey, can I ride you home?"

Friday Fill in

1. Some relationships are meant to last - but a good idea would be to stay off the show "moment of truth".
2. Heaven only knows what was the last concert I saw; it was so long ago I don't remember it. (that should be my answer for number 4!)
3. Spring should be HERE ALREADY. WHY IS IT SNOWING?
4. Oh no! I forgot to record Survivor AGAIN!
5. I've recently started thinking about my next homework assignment.
6. My son's laughter never fails to make me smile.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to this work week ENDING, tomorrow my plans include going to get paperwork signed by a Notary Public,  and Sunday, I want to nap!

page 123

The rules are:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the next three sentences.

5. Tag five people.

So here goes:

The nearest book is the book I just finished reading. It is called, "The Calling" by Inger Ash Wolfe.
Here are the lines.
"He thought sometimes that he could feel air passing through his heart and he wodered if, in sympathy, his own heart was refusing the foxglove's balm. It occasionally made him feel weak. He prayed to God to spare the men and women under his care by letting him go on."

I'm not going to tag five people, but if you choose to do this one for fun please leave a comment so I can visit you.

my painting

Check out my "painting" here.

thursday thirteen: trips to take this summer

Thirteen Things about lovesmukiwa Here are 13 trips I would like to take this summer. My spouse did this list also, and I hope that we have some matches. I am not going to look at her list until I have done mine. 1. Disneyworld. This is a bit of a cheat since I know there is a chance that I will be attending a conference here and I would like to take S with me. 2. The Beaver at Beaverlodge. 3. A bed and breakfast - anywhere really, but a nice getaway for us. 4. Edmonton Pride festival. We haven't been to a pride festival since we left Utah. 5. Toronto Pride Festival. I would LOVE to go to Toronto. I put it on the list but I don't know if realistically we will make it this year. The indigo girls are singing there and it would ROCK to go to a concert. ( Shel asked me about this last night so I think it might show up on her list) 6. R family cruise. 7. Lake Louise. 8. Camping with the dogs. It has been a LONG time since we camped. I thought immediately of how much Muk would love it but silly me, she is no longer with us, so it will be Zuva's first camping trip. 9. White water rafting. There is a place in Grande Cache that would be fun to check out. 10. Utah. With a stop off at Ogden Pizzeria and Burrito Grande 11. Seattle. Again, I don't know how realistic it is that we would make it to Seattle, but I haven't been there in a long time and it would be nice to go as a family to some of the festivals they have there. 12. Edmonton Heritage Festival 13. Falher Honey Festival. I don't really know much about this one but it sounds cool and since I have always wanted my own bees..... And since I put in a couple that were unrealistic here are some late additions (and I have looked at my spousal units list already so I am pilfering some ideas from her) that will more a little more practical if we don't win the lottery in the next few weeks. - IMAX - Children's museum

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

888 update

non-fiction
1. Measure of a Man. Sidney Poitier
2. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Barbara Kingsolver
3. A Long Way Gone. Ishmael Beah
4. Spycatcher. Peter Wright
5. The Places in Between. Rory Stewart (completed January 19th 2008)
6. Infidel. Ayaan hirsi Ali
7. Glass Castle.
8. Fish:

Young Adult Fiction
1. The Canning Season. Polly Horvath
2. Godless. Pete Hautman
3. Autobiography of my Dead Brother. Walter Dean Myers
4. The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Brian Selznick
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Pulitzer Prize Winners
1. Middlesex. Jeffrey Eugenides (Completed January 21st 2008)
2. Gilead. Marilynne Robinson (Completed January 13th 2008)
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From the NYT Bestseller list. (I don't want to limit myself to books that have already been written. There might be some good ones published this year)
1. Bleeding Kansas. Sarah Paretsky. #15 January 13 2008
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Banned or "challenged" books
1. Go Ask Alice
2. The Lorax. Dr. Seuss
3. The Well of Lonliness
4. Steal This Book. Abbie Hofmann
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8.

Books already on my Bookshelf
1. I am counting these three books as one. They were already on my shelf and I had never read them but they are young adult books (and totally predictable).
Gordon Korman. Island: Book one "Shipwreck" (completed February 1 2008)
Gordon Korman. Island: Book two "Survival" (completed February 1 2008)
Gordon Korman. Island: Book Three "Escape" (completed February 1 2008)
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Books based on or in Africa

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Books I will check out from the library
1. Saturday. Ian McEwan (completed January 27 2007)
2. Eat, Pray, Love. Elizabeth Gilbert (completed February 16 2008)
3. The Translator: A Tribesman's Memoir of Darfur. Daoud Hari (completed February 18 2008)
4. Biting the Moon. Martha Grimes (completed March 25 2008)
5. The Calling. Inger Ash Wolfe (completed March 29 2008)
6. Written in Bone. Simon Beckett (completed March 31 2008)
7.
8.

Book: Biting the Moon

This book is by Martha Grimes and is titled "Biting the moon". I have had a real hard time reading this last month and this is just the second book I have picked up since "starting" to read again. I was captivated by the premise of the book, a girl wakes up in a bed and breakfast with amnesia and only has a feeling that something is terribly wrong. She takes off and basically survives out in the woods, living in unused cabins etc. Unfortunately for me there was no plot development along this line. She didn't seem as interested in finding out who she was as she was interested in saving animals who were being trapped or used in canned hunts. It would have been ok if it had somehow tied into who she was, but that part of the plot seemed to be ignored as the book went on.
I do like to read so I can "lose" myself in the story and this one had potential for me, but this story had gaps too big to overlook. There is a sequel to this book and I'm going to check it out of the library to see if the story develops any more.

Ten on Tuesday

Ten things to do before you get married.

Theoretically I have a problem with the whole "marriage" thing because unless you are lucky and live in Canada where we do , you CANNOT get married if you are gay. So that would be me, not being married. I am going to suspend my reality for the purpose of this post and pretend that the world is a just and humane place EVERYWHERE and that gay marriage is allowed all over the world and just respond to the damn topic.

1. Be able to be alone, by yourself. Be able to go to a movie and a restaurant alone and not feel like a freak.

2. Pay your own bills. Car payment, insurance, rent, utilities. Have a job!

3. Date lots. Go out with lots of different people and when you find the one you want to marry, date them lots  - but don't stop just cause you get married. Heck, (wow - that was a bit of latent Mormonism popping out of me in that phrase!) I think you should fall in love and get your heart broken at LEAST once so you  have something to compare this "marriage" relationship to, and so that you don't look back 20 years later and wonder if you missed something cause you never loved anyone else.

4. Travel together. A road trip, whatever, just figure out if you are compatible in a small space together for a long time. You shouldn't eat nuts on this trip though. That might be a bad idea, but it will give you a chance to see how they pack and what treats they bring for the road. Are you both talkers? both silent? Do you stop at every road side pull out for a walkabout or do you have to bring your own pop bottle to pee in because you aren't stopping for hell or high water? Do you listen to the radio? Do you listen to books on tape? Do you sing loudly and off key for hours and hours on end? These are IMPORTANT things to know people.

5. Grocery shop together. You wouldn't think this was important but I've seen some doozy fights in grocery stores. I will confess to having been in one or two arguments myself (in the meat department).

6. Fight. Yeah argue. You have to know if the person you are planning on being with for the rest of your known days fights fair and if you can resolve stuff. Don't avoid the "tough" issues because you don't want to ruffle feathers. Feathers will get ruffled down the line and you should know that you CAN get through these times.

7. Cry in front of them. I'm not recommending that you do this with every person you ever date, but before you get married, when you have found "THE" one, you have to cry in front of them. Pull out all the stops. Watch some sappy old movie from the 80's like "Beaches" or something ("Set it Off " worked VERY well for me) and let it all out. Blubber, Slobber, get the whole ugly cry face going and see if they can handle it or if they run away very far, very fast. If you find someone who can deal with your ugly face cry - they are a keeper fo sho.

8. Do your own laundry. Do I need to say more than that?

9. Listen to your friends opinions of the person you are considering marrying. This may seem stupid and redundant and in reality when you are head over heels in love with some jerk you aren't going to listen to your friends anyway because the jerk will have convinced you that your friends are jealous of him (or her) and he'll tell you "of COURSE they are going to try to tell you they don't like him (or her)." But SERIOUSLY... if your friends think this dude (or dudette) is a loser....

 

10. How can I say this....... Know what you like.  If that wasn't clear - then you aren't ready to be married.

Adoption frustration

I have not posted many things about our journey to adoption but this past week has frustrated me so much I am writing about it here today to vent. This process is so scary and at every step we are so concerned with saying everything "right" and not making waves because we want everything to go smoothly, and this week I have had enough.
We are foster parents. We have had Max (not his given name (yet) for anyone concerned with privacy issues) since he was released from the hospital at one month of age. He is 18 months old. When he was 6 months old his parents rights were terminated by the court and he became a permanent ward of the province and able to be adopted. Since we were his foster parents at the time we asked if we might adopt him. We were told that we could, but that we needed to be approved as an adoptive home first.
We met with the adoption worker. (Please note here that the SAME office with the SAME supervisor operates in our region as the foster AND permanency placement.) In order to be foster parents we have to go through a process of becoming certified and maintaining that certification on a yearly basis. We have to have medical records, police checks, home inspections and everything for foster care EVERY year. Well apparently this is not enough for the permanency workers, so we have to do ALL of this again. OK. So we do it. All of it. All over again.
And we get approval to be an adoptive family.
While all this is happening we go through three, yes THREE permanency workers. And while I am sure they are all very nice individuals, the first was pregnant and getting ready to go on maternity leave and did..... oh right NOTHING on our file. The second ROCKED and in the SHORT time that she was assigned to our case we met with her a number of times, she kept us informed with emails regarding what she needed, what she was working on, what to expect etc. When the first worker didn't return from maternity leave and the position opened for a full time position we hoped against hope that the lady filling in would be selected. Much to our chagrin, she was not.
We are now on permanency worker number three. Last week she came to our home to meet with us. She sat, took notes, and asked us all kinds of questions about how Max was doing. We updated her on speech therapy issues and other events and asked her how our file was progressing. She did what we know her to do (from past experience) - evaded the question - and said only "your file is progressing." What does that mean? She said she didn't have the complete file from the last worker, but the last worker was waiting on info from HER for the file. Huh? Confused yet? Us too.
After she left and Shel and I were able to process this information we decided that the LACK of information was a problem for us and we called our foster worker to let her know of our frustration. She passed the message on to their supervisor (again, SAME supervisor) and the supervisor called us. First of all our foster worker said that there was a piece of documentation that they still needed from me. Fine. Why didn't the worker tell us that when she was IN our home and could have taken it with her? Has she even opened our file? If we had not called to check the status when would she have asked for it? The supervisor left a message to say she had reviewed with the permanency worker what was on her plate and if we wanted to meet to discuss the priorities (blah blah blah) to call her on her direct line. Now tell me this. What good is a direct line if you don't answer your phone? This is where we sit. I have called that number - enough to be a tad irritating if she is checking her caller id - I have left my name and number and she has not called me back.
I know that the journey to adoption is long and filled with red tape for everyone who tries to navigate it. Somehow I thought since everything was being done in the same office it would somehow be easier. I was deluding myself.
Ai ai ai ai ai.

unconscious mutterings

Money :: money, money, it's a rich mans world
Unhappy :: tears
Joking :: "you said the world was magic i was wide eyed and laughing" - indigo girls song
Chipmunk :: cheeks
Date :: night
Slideshow :: my dad's short shorts poolside
Chicago :: Oprah
Lifetime :: of pain
Skid row :: band "I remember you"-song
Edward :: Prince

friday fill ins

1. Finding a great book is so exciting!
2. Strawberry fields forever.
3. Hot Cross Buns sound like they would taste delicious!
4. Why does sleep make me feel so good?!
5. A show on Broadway is something I've always wanted to see.
6. It's sad when life isn't what you expect it to be.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to reading, tomorrow my plans include making hot cross buns and Sunday, I want to celebrate my favorite holiday with Max!

level up

I found this when I was checking out Thursday thirteen bloggers and not commenting - like I do. But I will send you there to check it out :

http://awesomerandomosity.blogspot.com/

Leveling Up

Level 1
(x) Smoked a cigarette.
(x) Smoked a cigar.
(x) Kissed a member of the same sex.
(x) Drank alcohol.

Level 2
(x) Are/been in love.
(x) Been dumped. (and punched after being dumped for moving on)
( ) Shoplifted.
( ) Been fired.
( ) Been in a fist fight. ( I don't think so, but I would like to have been)

Level 3
(x) Had a crush on an older person.
(x) Skipped school.
(x) Slept with a classmate. (I think we were sleeping together before we were classmates.)
(x) Seen someone/something die. (one of the most painful moments of my life)

Level 4
( x) Had/have a crush on one of your friends who is now on Facebook. (Billy Bugden- yup. You read it here first)
( ) Been to Paris.
( ) Been to Spain.
(x) Been on a plane.
( ) Thrown up from drinking.

Level 5
( ) Eaten sushi. (not in this lifetime)
( ) Been snowboarding.
( ) Met someone BECAUSE of Facebook. (I told you I don't do Facebook.)
(x) Been in a mosh pit.

Level 6
(x) Been in an abusive relationship. (psychologically for sure)
(x) Taken pain killers. (when I was in pain)
(x) Loved someone you couldn’t have.
(x) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by.
(x) Made a snow angel.

Level 7
(x) Had a tea party.
(x) Flown a kite.
(x) Built a sand castle.
( ) Gone mudding (offroading).
(x) Played dress up.

Level 8
(x) Jumped into a pile of leaves.
( ) Gone sledging. (huh?)
(x) Cheated while playing a game. (especially Clue)
(x) Been lonely.
( x) Fallen asleep at work/school.

Level 9
(x) Watched the sun set.
(x) Felt an earthquake.
( ) Killed a snake.

Level 10
(x) Been tickled.
( ) Been robbed/vandalized.
(x) Been cheated on.
(x) Been misunderstood.

Level 11
(x) Won a contest.
( ) Been suspended from school.
(x) Had detention.
(x) Been in a car/motorcycle accident.

Level 12
( ) Had/have braces.
(x) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night.
(x) Danced in the moonlight.

Level 13
(x) Hated the way you look.
(x) Witnessed a crime.
(x) Pole danced. (eat your heart out - they WISH they had hired me!)
(x) Questioned your heart.
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes. (but I do like glue and candle wax)

Level 14
(x) Squished barefoot through the mud.
(x) Been lost.
(x) Been to the opposite side of the world.
(x) Swam in the ocean.
(x) Felt like you were dying.

Level 15
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
(x) Played cops and robbers.
(x) Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers.
(x) Sang karaoke.(and won a competition THANK YOU!)
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins.

Level 16
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
( ) Made prank phone calls.
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
(x) Kissed in the rain.

Level 17
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus.
(x) Watched the sun set/sun rise with someone you care/cared about.
(x) Blown bubbles.
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach or anywhere.

Level 18
( ) Crashed A Party.
(x) Have travelled more than 5 days with a car full of people. (my family)
(x) Gone rollerskating/blading.
(x) Had a wish come true.
(x) Slept with a member of the same sex.

Level 19
(x) Worn pearls.
(X) Jumped off a bridge.
( ) Screamed “penis” or “vagina”.
( ) Swam with dolphins.

Level 20
( ) Got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube.
( ) Kissed a fish. (huh?)
(x) Worn the opposite sex’s clothes.
(x) Sat on a roof top.

Level 21
(x) Screamed at the top of your lungs.
( ) Done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel.
(x) Talked on the phone for more than six hours (in one day).
(x) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about.

Level 22
(X) Picked and ate an apple right off the tree.
(x) Climbed a tree.
(x) Had/been in a tree house.
(x) Been scared to watch scary movies alone. (I won't watch them period)

Level 23
(x) Believed in ghosts.
( ) Have had more than thirty pairs of shoes
(x) Gone streaking. (in the winter, DUMB)
(x) Visited jail. - (Actually I think it was a halfway house?)

Level 24
(x) Played chicken. (Not with cars, but the idea was the same.)
(x) Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on.
( ) Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger.
(X) Broken a bone.
(x) Been easily amused.

Level 25
( ) Caught a fish then ate it later.
( ) Made a porn video.
( ) Caught a butterfly.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
(x) Cried so hard you laughed.

Level 26
(x) Mooned/flashed someone.
(x) Had someone moon/flash you.
(x) Cheated on a test.
(x) Forgotten someone’s name.
( ) French braided someone’s hair.
(x) Gone skinny dipping.
( ) Been kicked out of your house.
(x) Tried to hurt yourself.

Level 27
(x) Rode a roller coaster.
( ) Went scuba-diving/snorkelling.
(x) Had a cavity.
( ) Black-mailed someone.
( ) Been black mailed.

Level 28
(x) Been used.
(x) Fell going up the stairs.
(X) Licked a cat. (well.......)
(x) Bitten someone. (only if they tell me to)
(x) Licked someone - not in private places.

Level 29
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint.
( ) Had sex in the rain.
( ) Flattened someone’s tires.
(x) Rode your car/truck until the gas light came on.
(x ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas.

Thursday thirteen: things I learned as a carny




Thirteen Things I learned as a carny 1. There's lots of drugs at Carnivals. 2. There's lots of unprotected sex at carnivals, in wierd places. 3. Carnival food will make you sick after eating it every day for an extended period of time. 4. You can make lots of money in a short amount of time - if you work the right games. 5. You can spend a lot of time and make no money at all if you are not willing to "play the games". 6. Not everyone who works at a carnival is dirty, but most of them are! 7. People at carnivals spend a LOT of money for crappy prizes. 8. Blowing up balloons without a machine hurts the lips, lungs and fingers. 9. There are ways to cheat every system, even the system of buying tickets to play games. 10. Men have huge egos, and when it comes to smashing beer bottles with baseballs, and you can REALLY take advantage of that and make a lot of money. 11. I would never ride a carnival ride. 12. Carnival music may sound fun and cheery when you visit for an hour or two, but when you have to work next to a ride all day that is pumping out cheesy music on a two minute loop you want to kill yourself at the end of the day. 13. Wear good shoes.




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18 months old today

Hey there my main man.

Today you are 18 months old. In the month since you were referred to a speech therapist (your first appointment is tomorrow) you have started to be more consistent with your sounds. Everytime one of the pets walks into the room you distinctly say "hi" to them, though why you don't greet anyone else this way still confounds me. You have started to say "ma" with regularity. Your mom can distinguish between your calls to her and your calls to me, but I still struggle with knowing who exactly you are talking to. This month you also mastered drinking out of a cup without spilling everything all the way down your front - which never seemed to bother you anyway!You are learning things in leaps and bounds. Sometimes it is hard to keep up with all your new skills.

Your mom spent some days in the hospital this month and I don't think any of us weathered that storm well, but your visits to the hospital room were a bright moment and you were absolutely in heaven with all the buttons. Believe me, if I could find a bed like the hospital one for us to bring home, your obsessions with all things button related would be well on it's way to being fulfilled. If the hospital in town weren't only full of old dying people we would stop in and visit some of the oldsters just so you could play with the beds. (Unfortunately I think some of them would have a cardiac arrest and we know the hospital staff here are not equipped for medical emergencies so we will spare us all that tradgedy).

This last week has brought to light some of the challenges of the foster-adoption program, but your mom and I are working on them. Don't ever think for one minute that you don't have anyone in this world fighting for you. Your mom is the epitomy of a mother bear whose babies are threatened when she goes on the offensive on your behalf. I'm fairly confident that whatever has been holding up the system and your permanaent adoption will be resolved quickly as we dig our heels in to bring you to our family "forever".

The highlight of my day has become the time we spend playing when I get home from work. The last few days we have played so hard you have been sweaty and breathless from laughing and running. You are such a joy.

Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.

March in Utah and March in Northern Alberta

This is what it looks like at work today.
I suppose for St. Patty's day we could have been inventive and painted the snow drifts green. Maybe next year.





This is what it looked like yesterday at my alma mater - WSU in Ogden, Utah.
When I lived in Utah I could not wait to leave.
I miss it. When I see pictures like this I REALLY miss it.

St Patrick's day

Yesterday for St Patricks day I stopped at the store for some treats to take home and looked for something "green". With all of his allergies M really is restricted on the treats he can have which worked out ok anyway since the grocery store was LAME and had NOTHING green - not cookies, not anything. What's up with that?

I purchased lime kool-aid and Shel mixed it up. M is drinking from a cup at suppertime now and he was ALL about the lime koolaid. He used his new favorite word.. "more" over and over. Forget about the pork chop or tater tots. For supper last night M had ketchup and kool aid.

Ten places I'd take a tourist to see in my hometown

For the purpose of this entry I will assume that this means the town I am currently living in. This question makes me laugh. I live in a teeny town and thinking of ten things to show a tourist in quite a mental exercise.

1. The four way stop. We only have one in the whole town and it is new since we moved here. I like to think that ouraddition tot he community population influenced the decision to add a four way stop.

2. The pool. We have a nice indoor pool and waterslide. In the summer it would be cool if the pool had a roof that retracted so we could be outside, but the fact remains that we have more winter months than summer months, so the indoor pool is nice.

3. The campus. Especially in the summer months the campus is a beautiful place to be. We have beautiful flower gardens, even though some of the most beautiful are in obscure places. It is nice to walk around campus and the three hole golf course and pond in the summer.

4. The Mall on Main. Don't be fooled by the title, which is why we need to stop by. We have a "mall" but all that is in the mall is a restaurant, a realtor office, a photo lab, a greyhound depot and a novelty store. The fact that it is called "the mall" is humorous - to me at least.

5. The town clock. This is another addition to the town since we have lived here. The clock has three sides and on the side of the clock that is visible when you LEAVE town it says "Welcome to FV". Really, who thinks of these things?

6. Dunvegan Bridge. The bridge is not actually in town, but it is one of the ways to get into town and it is fairly significant as a suspension bridge in the far north. At the bottom of the bridge are gardens and a little store and mini golf spot which are a nice touristy thing. They have an ice cream parlour which we visit at least once a summer and they have maypole dancing (which I have yet to attend).

7. The Northern Lights. I can't really "order" northern lights for guests to see, but we get some spectacular showings. One of the things I LOVE about where we live is the sky. The stars at night are so bright it is amazing. I can even see the milky way - which from a city is impossible.

8. The wildlife. My parents came up to visit and we bragged up how much wildlife there was to see. Of course the whole time they were here everything was in some kind of wierd hibernation. Thankfully when they came back we saw lots of moose, deer, coyotes, and an amazing array of birds. Our garden is quite a bird sanctuary and I am sure once my spouse gets into the garden and does her magic there will be more birds and other wildlife. You KNOW if someone comes here from out of town they will get a grand tour of our acreage. I AM paying a 30 year mortgage, so someone else needs to get some appreciation out of it.

9. A walking trail. I will admit I ran out of ideas and I had to ask a co-worker. She suggested the walking trails which give a nice view of the golf course and small lake.

10. oh, oh oh! A PLAY! I was in a play in the theater. But depending on what time of year a visitor would come to town there are some community events each year, the rodeo (which I have not attended), kidfest (which I have attended), the drag races (haven't been there yet), the car show (been there!), air show (been there!), and in the winter there are hockey games and curling bonspiels(and karaokee competitions where the competition is tough) . The community really does take advantage of the summer months.

the "F" word

I am constantly taken aback by how many people find the word "feminism" offensive.

I will admit that for many years I had a problem with defining myself as a feminist, but my reasons were not because I am opposed to the concepts of feminism as much as I found "femisists" to be upper class white women. I called myself a "womanist" in an attempt to be more inclusive of all races and classes of women but I believe the battle over words blinds us to the issues and so now I have no problem calling myself a feminist.

I was sitting in my class this weekend listening to presentations. A woman in my class was talking about how, as a single professional woman, people still make the assumption that she drives her husbands car, or that she is married and that is why she lives in a nice house. She was offended by these assumptions but then made it pointedly clear that she is NOT a feminist. WHA? HUH? I'm confused. Why does she consider herself to NOT be a feminist? She works and has workplace rights. She expects equal pay for equal work. She votes. She has the right to contract and property, I'm pretty sure she believes in her right to bodily integrity and autonomy (especially on matters such as reproductive rights, including the right to abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care). She has the right to protection from domestic violence; against sexual harassment and rape; and against other forms of discrimination. Now I haven't asked her, but I am also fairly confident in saying that she is opposed to female genital mutilation.

This is feminism people. Say it all together now: FEM IN ISM. It won't hurt you. You won't sprout horns and spit fire, and your bras will not spontaneously combust.

Why are you so afraid of it?

From Rosie.com I copied the following:

Shirley Anita St. Hill Chisholm (November 30, 1924 – January 1, 2005) was an American politician, educator and author. She was a Congresswoman, representing New York’s 12th District for seven terms from 1968 to 1983. In 1968, she became the first African American woman elected to Congress. On January 23, 1972, she became the first major party African American candidate for President of the United States. She won 152 delegates.

• I was the first American citizen to be elected to Congress in spite of the double drawbacks of being female and having skin darkened by melanin. When you put it that way, it sounds like a foolish reason for fame. In a just and free society it would be foolish.
That I am a national figure because I was the first person in 192 years to be at once a congressman, black and a woman proves, I think, that our society is not yet either just or free.

• I want history to remember me not just as the first black woman to be elected to Congress, not as the first black woman to have made a bid for the presidency of the United States, but as a black woman who lived in the 20th century and dared to be herself.

• Of my two “handicaps” being female put more obstacles in my path than being black.

• I’ve always met more discrimination being a woman than being black.

unconscious mutterings

Paranormal :: psychology
Alarm :: clock
Operative :: undercover
Changing :: seasons
Framed :: for murder
Beer :: gross
Referral :: to a counselor
Unmasked :: batman
Movie star :: beverly hillbillies
Handbook :: residence handbook

In the City

I am in the city today for class and I noticed, there are a lot of clean cars here. More clean cars than at home.

Friday Fill In

1. Contact may cause my electrons to excite.
2. The parties hereto do mutually agree to enter into this contract.
3. Disney parks are magical.
4. Shower, food, some tv and sleep sounds really good right about now!
5. I positively need to do homework sooner.
6. Rainy days and Sundays always makes me smile :-) Wait, no, thats not right.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting home from work, tomorrow my plans include finally finishing my homework and Sunday, I want to take a nap!