habit forming

I read yesterday that if you write three things you are grateful for consecutively for 21 days it changes your thought patterns. I had a gratitude journal where I used to write three things down daily but I have lost the journal which is hugely frustrating. I really try to be a grateful person, it is important to me. I don't feel as though my thought patterns are or have changed. That is another frustration for me. I feel like I constantly battle negative thoughts - not about the world around me, but about myself -  and I'm pretty ready to be over it!
I know that 21 days is the "threshold" used frequently when describing the formation or the breaking of habits. So far my experience is that this is not necessarily true. It take long term dedication and RE-dedication to make and keep habits (or break habits as the case may be).
I'll try again with the gratitude thing - though I don't commit to writing them here every day.
Here is what I am grateful for today:
1. The sun is shining, this morning it was snowing and I am not ready for the snow, so the sun is a welcome break in the weather pattern!
2. The gas and water and electric are hooked up to the trailer so the big boys and I are sleeping there even though it is not yet attached to the house. It is awesome!
3. There is a plan in place for CJ to return to school. Who knew I would having this much stress over kids and school?! I LOVED it so I never comprehended that anyone couldn't love it also. Such is not the case for my boy.

Gratitude week 14: something I take for granted

I try to practise daily gratitude and think of the things each day I am grateful for. Some days it is more difficult than others, and some days it is easy, but it is never as easy to think about the things I take for granted as when they aren’t working.

This weekend we had problems with the septic tank and our grey water was filling up the basement. The washer wasn’t working well and the dryer wasn’t working at all. I was EXTREMELY aware of the things I take for granted as the basement was filling up with water. Electricity, running water, heat, a septic system that works – all of these things I go through many days without thinking of how convenient they make my life and what a hassle it is to live without them. I am SUPER grateful for modern conveniences. Life without them is difficult – to say the least.

Today I am also extremely grateful for the phone – I made lots of important calls today (including the plumber who went out and fixed my septic mess) and was also able to spend time talking with a friend who lives too far away to visit daily, but who makes my day brighter every time we talk. THANK GOODNESS FOR PHONES!  

Gratitude week 13 : Something I have created

When I was in grade 8 I made an ashtray in pottery. No one I knew smoked. It just seemed like something I could do that would turn out exactly how I wanted it to!

Now I keep it on my desk at work. I'm grateful to have something I made so many years ago. 

Gratitude Week 12: a city I have visited

I absolutely love travelling. I used to travel more and I haven’t in the past few years gone anywhere really interesting. I love Singapore, Seattle, San Francisco (maybe it’s a thing for places starting with the letter ‘s”)?

The reason I am not going to write about any of those places is because I think lots of people like them and there’s probably lots and lots of information out there about cool things that have to do with those places.

I decided instead to write about Bellingham. Why Bellingham you ask? Well I love Washington state for one, and I lived there for a number of years, first as a missionary and then I returned and lived there and taught karate. I lived in a number of places north and east of Seattle and loved all of them, but Bellingham was one of my favorite places.

Bellingham is about 90 miles north of Seattle, 21 miles south of the Canadian border and about 52 miles south of Vancouver, B.C.  it sits right on the north Puget Sound and the San Juan Islands are further to the west ( I also love the San Juans). The North Cascade mountains are east. I love the combination of ocean and mountains.

There are parks, trails, two community colleges, a university all in Bellingham. I absolutely LOVE it. I am grateful that I was able to visit Bellingham. I would never have known what a great place it is. For a long time I wanted to live there. Now I am in Canada and will never live in the USA but I would be very happy to visit Bellingham again. 

Gratitude Week 11: Something kind someone has done for me

I had a meeting at my local bank. I LOATHE the bank – I obviously have some work to do with regards to my feelings about money. The bank manager at my branch is someone I have worked with for many years and for years before she became the branch manager. She is a great person and has been extremely supportive of me over the years – which I am grateful for in and of itself.

We were talking while completing the transactions she was assisting me with and we lighted upon the topic of spaghetti squash. I love it and she was making it. Jokingly I said she should bring me leftovers and out of the blue she called me to say she had leftovers for me and was I coming to pick them up!  I am extremely grateful for kind people. This made my day today.

Gratitude Week 10: Something I use every day

Today I am grateful for my Blender. I  started exercising ( in June ) and try to do it daily. I have always been terrible at eating - I don't eat breakfast and most days forget to pack a lunch for work so I will usually go all day without eating and then when I get home in the evening I am STARVING and don't stop eating all evening. I decided to start drinking a shake as a meal supplement at work so I got a blender which I keep at work and I make sure I have a shake every day while I am working. I am SUPER happy I have it and I use it daily. (I am struggling presently with working out daily - I was doing REALLY well for two months and then in August was away lots and in September have been away a fair bit. Getting into the habit of working out every day again is a struggle).

Gratitude week 9: things I like about summer

When I started this challenge I was supposed to write something I was grateful for every week for the entire year. Well I made it to 8 weeks and then fell off the bandwagon, so I am now jumping back into it but I have 30 weeks to catch up on!

Week Nine:

I think there is nothing that I DON’T like about the summer. We have LONG days and they are warm and beautiful. The kids are not in school which I love. I like mowing the lawn. I like trips to the river. I like visiting my mom or having her come here to visit. I like making fires in the evening and sitting around them with my family. I have always had a difficult time deciding which season is my favorite because I like spring, summer AND fall . Having said that I dislike the mud of spring, and I am always sad in the fall at the frosty mornings – I feel like summer passes too quickly, so maybe summer is my favorite season after all. I love summer and I am grateful for it.

52 Weeks of Gratitude: Week 7 : 5 characteristics I am grateful for in my kids

     1.       Determined (and Industrious).

My oldest boy has determination. He wants to do things for himself and he pushes himself until he can achieve what it is he wants. When he could get up on his knees all he wanted to do was crawl. When he could crawl all he wanted to do was run. When he could ride a bike with training wheels all he wanted to do was ride without them. Once he has a goal in mind he will work until he achieves that goal and so far we have not found anything that will distract him from reaching it!

      2.       Generous (and kind).

My second boy is a generous soul. He loves to share what he has – as I discovered again this week when he told me he was out of milk tickets because he shared with all his friends who didn’t have any!  In a project this week at school the kids were partnered with someone from an older grade to learn all about them. Ceejer has won some medals this season participating in various hockey tournaments and found the person he was partnered with had no medals. He came home and asked if he could take one of his medals and share it with his partner who never had any. He comes up with these ideas all by himself.

3.       Patient (and reliable).

My third little man is very patient. He puts up with the kids both older and younger than he is. Of all the kids he is the most patient. His little sisters adore him – and while they also adore the older two he lets them play with him, climb on him, and engage with them in games THEY want to play. He also indulges the older boys when they are looking for a partner in crime. For a guy as young as him this is a real skill!

4.       Independent (and outgoing).

The oldest girl in our brood is insanely independent. I thought we had independent kids before her – I was wrong! She will do EVERYTHING herself. Dress herself,  get into her car seat herself (and out of it!), basically if it can be done, she will do it. If it can’t be done, she will also do it. She is also the most outgoing of all the kids, but her younger sister might give her a run for her money as she gets older.

5.       Cheerful (and curious). 

Our little bean is the most cheerful kid I have ever known. She is also curious- which I used to think was true of every kid, but believe me, we have some that aren’t! She has always been such a happy kid that she is a joy for everyone to be around. I know I look forward to being around her.

52 weeks of gratitude update

I know this is supposed to be focussing me on gratitude but I  am not liking this this list. While I like the IDEA of gratitude and I try to be a grateful person, I am apparently easily annoyed.
I thought it would be fun to write about things I am grateful for, but I am not grateful for an annoying list. The first week we were supposed to write why we started the challenge. I think it is good to have a preface for why people want to do the challenge but the list is for things we are grateful for so how do I write how I am grateful for “why start this list?”

Then the way the items are categorized puts week two with spouse, week three with family, week four with a family member which makes three consecutive weeks writing about basically the same thing. If you are reading along with me you will know that i mixed it up a bit so that I WASN’T writing about the same topic three weeks in a row.

Here are some of the other things on the list I have a problem with writing what I am grateful for - Week 9 : “How did you do and feel” – and what does that mean exactly? Express gratitude for “how did you do and feel”?  Week 10 – five things you like about you . So that goes – I am grateful for these five things I like about myself? I find that strange. Week 12: Your favorite personality trait. Then I am supposed to write how I am grateful for the things I like about spring, summer and winter. I am grateful for something I look forward to in week 33 and then in week 51 I am grateful for a list of 100 things I am grateful for? 52 things I am grateful for became all of a sudden 151 things I am grateful for?

What I am grateful for is the opportunity to reflect weekly on gratitude. What I am not grateful for is the list I chose to follow – so I am un-choosing it!  I will partially follow this list and I the rest I will fill in myself.  Chances are if you were watching the list and waiting with baited breath for me to write about how I am grateful for how I did and felt – you might want to take a deep breath now – cause I’m not doing it!

52 weeks of gratitude : week 1

Week one of the 52 weeks of gratitude only says " Why start this challenge", so here is my reasoning for participating.

As previously mentioned I am a fan of gratitude.

By nature I am a pessimist, and the facts of our lives - being lesbians in a small, conservative, community while raising children with disabilities - means we face a fair number of challenges.

It would be very easy for me to get bogged down by the things in our lives that are difficult, going wrong, or just different than the life I imagined for myself once upon a time. The fact is, it would not take much for me to just give in to the despair and spiral out of control with negativity. But, I find that if I find things to be grateful for it helps me to get through the day. It helps me to stay grounded. I PERSONALLY enjoy being appreciated, so why not appreciate others and the things around me that I find in abundance to be grateful for!

My days have looked like this:
It's -30 degrees C, our car wouldn't start, the warning lights on the dash all came on (which may mean the car is in dire need of repair or the mice living in the vehicle have eaten all of the electrical cords - neither scenario is a happy one). The block heater isn't working, the pipes in the basement may have frozen, and the kids have eaten all the snacks we only just got for lunches which is supposed to last for the next two weeks of school - and I've only been awake 30 minutes!

But, if I focus on what I am grateful for :
My neighbour came and plowed the yard and so I can get out (when the car starts) and the kids have a place to play which will entertain them for hours.  We were up in time and the kids were all dressed and made it to the bus (WITH THEIR BACKPACKS!) this morning so I don't have to drive them to school. The boys wanted to pack their lunches for school last night, which saved some time getting ready this morning and I was able to get hold of a neighbour who can drive me to work and back for the next two days. So you see - focussing on what I am grateful for makes for a happier mama Ju - and let's face it. When the mama's aren't happy our lives are a WHOLE lot worse!

hallelujah

There's a lot to be grateful for. My boy has the right attitude.

things I am grateful for

I am trying to reframe my attitude. I have mentioned that last year really took a toll on me emotionally and my attitude suffered without a doubt. I NEED for this year to be a better year. I cannot control the things in life that happen around me, but I have to do something to hold onto my sanity.

I have always been a huge fan of the concept of gratitude. When I was super religious I had a favorite scripture from a speech King Benjamin gave to his people. King Benjamin was a great king and his people loved him. He erected a tower to talk to them and in his speech he said "And behold also, if I, whom ye call your king, who has spent his days in your service, and yet has been in the service of God, do merit any thanks from you, O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!"
I tried to make it a daily practise to "thank my Heavenly King".

Years have passed since I was that religious but I still believe that being grateful is important. I have a lot to be grateful for.

Last night I sat on the couch in our living room with my boys next to me. Max was watching a video about Wolves and CJ was playing a motorcycle game on his ipod. In the middle of playing his game, he stopped and leaned over and kissed me on the arm. I said "thanks for the kiss CJ" and he replied, eyes still on his game, "Welcome!"

Such a sweet, kind soul. My heart filled with gratitude for the beautiful family that I have.