Bullet Sunday

There is a lot of information on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) available "out there".
We are foster parents and in the process of adopting one child (hopefully another child also) who have both been exposed to alcohol before they were born.
Over the five years of being foster parents I think I can say with certainty that we have had ONE child WITHOUT FASD in our home.
The one thing I have learned in five years is that EVERY child is different.

Here are some things worth knowing:

• There is NO cure for FASD.
• You will, or may, hear stories of kids with FASD and how they act. Let me reiterate... It affects everyone differently. Please don't judge my kids without knowing THEM.
• Some people have asked us why we would "take on" children with FASD, knowing the potential problems they will encounter in life. My spouse and I have talked about this a lot, and I guess I would ask - "If not us, then who?" These kids are here, alive and growing up. Where should they be? Certainly it is every parents dream to have a perfect child, but there are children out there with imperfections, and they are no less deserving of a loving home than any other. So that's why. We don't have our heads in the sand. We KNOW there are potential problems, but we will educate ourselves, and we will advocate for our kids, so if not us, then who?
• FASD does not impact IQ.
• There may be NO outward signs, physical signs, of FASD. It is brain damage.

I am sure as we raise our family that I will post on FASD and the impact it has on our lives. I am preparing now with my spouse to go to an FASD conference where we will hopefully learn more ways of intervening on our children's behalf.

Bullet Sunday

I grew up in a fairly religious home. There wasn't a lot of "superstition" or any kind of belief in astrology, numerology or other things like that.

I have become a little interested in these things, more curious I suppose, and tonight I was looking at some information on the internet about parents and children with different astrological signs.

My spouse and I are both Scorpio's. I have one Virgo son and one Cancer son.
I found the following very interesting.

• Virgo male child: The Ruling Planet of Mercury, associated with intelligence, reason and meticulous attention to detail, makes the Virgo child gentle but also a rather fussy little individual. This is a child who is always thinking and observing with the ability to quickly perceive and learn. As this Planet also rules the hands, children of Virgo tend to be very skilled with all types of tools and instrument.
• In my humble parenting opinion this is VERY descriptive of my Maxie Man, and not at all descriptive of c-note. If he were any more skilled with his hands I think we might go insane.

• Scorpio Parent/Virgo Child: The Scorpio parent is a very devoted individual and the little Virgo will truly appreciate this. Practical and earthy, this child enjoys in aiding others and will always be a valuable helper around the home. Obsessive as the Scorpio adult can be regarding how things around the house are done, this parent will know that the little Virgo can be relied upon to do things in accordance with the Scorpio standard...but the parent here needs to be wary of making the Virgo child something of a slave. Because of this little one's willingness to work, he or she can be taken advantage of. Blessed with a no-nonsense approach to life which appeals to the Scorpio nature, both individuals in this relationship usually possess a shared view of perfectionism. It is not unusual for the bond between a Scorpio parent and Virgo child to be an intense one indeed.

• GET CLEANING BOY-O!

• Cancer child: The Cancer child is a loving little individual...some might even say a typical "mama's baby. The Cancer child possesses a tender soul and is usually quite easy to manage and discipline. Virtually all that will be needed is lots of attention, an over-abundance of love, and many hugs and cuddles. The formative years and early home environment of this little one will influence the rest of his or her life.
• I had to laugh at this description because I think people who have heard me talking about c-note would say he was a little momma's boy.

Here is a photo of my Cancerian "momma's boy":

Bullet Sunday

For the topic of today's bullet blog I am going to write a little about adoption. My spouse and I are in the process of adopting one foster son and hope to adopt our second foster son. We have been foster parents to both children since birth (one son was in the hospital for a month following his birth but we picked him up from the hospital).

Adoption and foster care are hot topics for my spouse and I. I found some interesting information on people who were adopted on the blog of Buck and Mike.

Many successful people in our history were adopted. Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs.

• U.S. Presidents Gerald Ford, Herbert Hoover, and Andrew Jackson;
• poets and writers Maya Angelou, Rudyard Kipling, Patricia Cornwell, Truman Capote, Herman Melville, Jonathan Swift, Joseph Conrad, John Keats, Rita Mae Brown, Ruth Westheimer, Edward Albee, W. Somerset Maugham, J.R.R. Tolkien, Leo Tolstoy, Arisotle, Dante Alighieri, Edgar Allen Poe, William Wordsworth, Jean Genet, Richard Wright, Langston Hughes, and Jean-Jacques Rousseau;
• composer Johann Sebastian Bach and singers John Lennon, Seal, Charlotte Church, Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Sarah McLachlan, Ella Fitzgerald, Willie Nelson, James Brown, Eric Clapton, Deborah Harry, Little Richard, Nat King Cole, and Louis Armstrong;
• actors Jack Nickolson, Anthony Hopkins, Ice-T, Ted Danson, Charlie Chaplin, Marilyn Monroe, Ray Liotta, Dean Cain, Eartha Kitt, Ingrid Bergman, Melissa Gilbert, James Dean, Pierce Brosnan, Dylan McDermott, and Steve McQueen;
• world and national leaders Nelson Mandela, Simón Bolívar, Moses, Muhammad, Alexander the Great, William the Conqueror, George Washington Carver, Frederick Douglass, Eleanor Roosevelt, Nancy Reagan, Sacagawea, , Joseph Fielding Smith, Orson Hyde, Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson, Newt Gingrich, Alexander Hamilton, John Hancock, Jesse Jackson and Sam Houston;
• athletes Babe Ruth, Greg Louganis and Mike Tyson;
• naturalists John James Audubon and John Bartram; movie directors François Truffaut and Miloš Forman and producer Samuel Goldwyn.

Bullet Sunday

• Patience: I have heard all my life from my mother that patience is a virtue. I have been thinking about it this weekend because my sons are sick - both of them are quite sick now but it all started with Max. I had to take him to the emergency room on Wednesday night because of an allergy attack he was having. I think that allergy attack completely drained the poor kid of every hope he had of fighting off any bugs and he got the flu. I would not describe myself as a patient person usually, but then I started to give it some thought.
  

• Today I investigated virtues and found there is a lot more to virtues than I ever knew. There are LOTs of virtues. Patience originates as one from the Psychomachia ("Contest of the Soul"), a poem written by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius (c. AD 410) entailing the battle of virtues and vices. The intense popularity of this work helped to spread the concept of holy virtue throughout Europe. Practicing virtues is considered to protect one against temptation from the seven deadly sins, with each one having its counterpart. Each of the seven heavenly virtues matches a corresponding deadly sin.

• Seven deadly sins: Can you name them all? Let's see if I can without looking.
  pride. envy. lust. gluttony. I missed greed, sloth and wrath.
  

• Seven contrary virtues... humility, kindness, chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience.
  

• Of the virtues I always thought I was most lacking in patience, but I think I am actually better at patience than some of the others. I handled going to the emergency room with a two year old and waiting around. I handled sitting with him in a chair giving him a breathing treatment. I handle issues at work with unhappy people. I am giving myself some extra credit on patience. Let's see how I do on the others. I would say I am pretty diligent and do o.k. on humility - is it possible to think that and be humble at the same time? maybe not! My chastity is great, my charity fair but I have a lot to work on as far as temperance and kindness. It's just nice to know that if my mom ever says "Patience is a virtue" again, I can assure her it's one I have a handle on.
  

Bullet Sunday

• I finally have a weekend off from work and the temperatures have not risen above -26 Celsius.

• We are in a recession. (The spiralling effect of lower income and low spending dampens confidence in the economy, contributing to a recession.) Only it doesn't make sense to me because my family has spent more money since January 1st of this year than we have in the first 6 weeks of any other year I can recall.

• According to the Montreal Gazette, the recession is keeping tourists away from Antarctica. Believe me, there are other reasons keeping me from visiting Antarctica. You can link to the story in the gazette here .

• When the temperatures where I LIVE do not rise above -26 during the second week of February, there is no way you are convincing me to spend money to visit a place where temperatures on the Polar Plateau range from -115 to +6 F. The average temperature is -56. That has NOTHING to do with the recession!
  
  

Bullet Sunday

The idea of Bullet Sunday came to me from Dave at Blogography and you can link to him here.

I am struggling a bit coming up with bullet ideas for today but I will make an effort to keep my loyal three readers happy with a new post.

• Barack Obama - I am so excited that I am alive to witness the office of the President of the United States being held by a man of minority status. I'm sure his politics will stir all kinds of craziness - especially in my family who are mostly very Republican - but regardless of his politics it is a historic and amazing moment which I feel blessed to witness.

• Rush Limbaugh - this week on his radio show rush said that he hopes that Obama fails as president. A few months back I had an anonymous person make a comment on my blog and accuse me of saying things out of context. I HIGHLY doubt that same person will be reading my blog now, but just in case he/she is, here is the quote from Rush's show. He was asked by “a major American print publication” to offer a 400-word statement explaining his “hope for the Obama presidency.”

He responded:

"So I'm thinking of replying to the guy, 'Okay, I'll send you a response, but I don't need 400 words, I need four. I hope he fails. What are you laughing at? See, here's the point. Everybody thinks it's outrageous to say. Look, even my staff, 'Oh, you can't do that.' Why not? Why is it any different, what's new, what is unfair about my saying I hope liberalism fails? Liberalism is our problem. Liberalism is what's gotten us dangerously close to the precipice here. Why do I want more of it? I don't care what the Drive-By story is. I would be honored if the Drive-By Media headlined me all day long: 'Limbaugh: I Hope Obama Fails.' Somebody's gotta say it."

So this is the problem I have with politics. With ALL politics. Politicians and pundits have VERY short memories.

• Just a few years ago the Dixie Chicks were in a music concert in London and singer Natalie Maines made the following comment "Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas."

Republican Americans went MAD. NBC banned an ad by the Chicks. People held protests where CDs were smashed and burned. The group received death threats. People in my own family called them un-American and said they should be deported or charged with treason and imprisoned. All they said was that they were ashamed the president was from Texas. Should they have said it? We can discuss this further at a later date..
I'm just pointing out that now we have a famous Political Pundit saying that the president should fail. SHOULD FAIL. Is that not disturbing to anyone? Where are all the people who freaked on the Dixie Chicks?

Come out, come out where ever you are?

Charge this idiot with treason and lock him away!

Bullet Sunday #3

• BIRTHDAY PARTY. Today we celebrated my son's 2nd birthday. He actually turned two a few months ago but with school and then illnesses and everything else that has piled up on us we have not had a party for him. We rented the pool and invited some friends. Not everyone we invited was able to make it but we had a small group of good friends stop in and we had a good day. I don't think Max knew that the day was all about him, but I think he had a good time as well. He makes me laugh because I know he is not genetically "our's" but he has spent all of his life with us and he approaches the world in ways he has seen us do. Getting into the hot tub today was like watching a mirror of my spousal unit. He is not a dare devil at ALL - in spite of me trying to model that for him!

• COMPARISON PARENTING. I don't know if it is because of the holidays or what it is but I am feeling nostalgic and missing my mom. It's hard for me now that I am a mother because I find myself more and more comparing everything I do to my own mom. I seem to fall short over and over when I hold myself to the standard she set. Today we had a good time. I managed to plan far enough ahead to get food, table cloths, drinks, bowls, plates, etc... I even managed to get them to follow a theme. Still I think if my mom had been here it would have been 10 times better and seemed 10 times easier. I wish she was here to share in the lives of her grandchildren. I think about her in everything I do. Max and I were in the walk on water ball and I thought " If my mom was here she would do this". Then I was swinging on the rope swing and I thought " If my mom was here she would do this". I'm glad we did those things so Max will carry the memories of us doing them with him, but I have a lot of improving to do if I am to be in any way the kind of mother to him that my mom was to me.

Bullet Sunday 2

This is my second installment of Bullet Sunday. I took the idea from Dave.

• POLITICS. For the most part I don;t think people change much in their political beliefs once they reach adulthood. I have had conversations and debates and even arguments about politics with people whom I respect but whom have absolutely nothing in common with me politically. I think when I am through with these conversations, that it is very unlikely that they will say anything to sway my opinion and so I have little hope that I will sway theirs. Having said that, my own opinion on the death penalty has changed almost 180 degrees since meeting my spouse 12 years ago. My spouse and I have had some pretty heated debates about the death penalty. I was a firm supporter of it and she is not. While I still believe in it - and I still believe some people just should be put to death rather than spend my tax dollars supporting them for the rest of their lives, I think there are WAYYYYYYYYYY too many people on death row who should not be. While I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, here is some info on someone (Damien Echols) who I think should NOT be on death row. Link here.
• TEETH. Let us not underestimate the value of good teeth. I do not have them. I inherited bad teeth from a long line of people with bad teeth. While I am proud of my heritage, I would trade my teeth in half an instant. As much as I hate my teeth, I hate dentists more. My dentist in particular is very good at what he does, but when you are captive in the chair you are subjected to preaching hour - or more if you have crappy teeth and get stuck in the chair longer. I tend to make dentist appointments and then cancel them with regularity. I usually follow this pattern until I am caught in a situation like the one I find myself in today. The tooth I went to (and got a root canal on) has now disintegrated around the temporary filling that was put in. I was supposed to go back and get the temporary filling replaced. They said it wouldn't last long. It has lasted longer that the piece of crap tooth that had fallen apart around it and is now cutting into my gums and lip. Damn teeth. Damn dentist.
• P!NK. She is DAMN fine. Heaven only knows I am not the person one would go to for advice on clothing choice, unless you wanted to know what t-shirt slogan I liked the best. Sometimes I even manage to get a shirt and socks the same color (if they are both white). But really. P!NK in all her hotness was in sad sad shape tonight. The dress and the hair? What in lands name was that about? She's so hot I will forgive her. Queen Latifah on the other hand, I do not forgive. Not hot enough to excuse that horrible outfit.

Bullet Sunday 1

I am not a great web surfer, although I do spend a considerable amount of time doing it I tend to go to the same sites over and over and over again and I rarely see anything new or exciting.

Yesterday (while I was in class no less) I was surfing the we while participating in/listening to a conversation on white power and multiculturalism and I came across Dave at blogography.com. (If you are interested you can link to him here)

Because I was so very interested and engaged in the conversation in class, I read back over a lot of his posts and thoroughly enjoyed his writing.

In the highest form of flattery, I am going to copy his idea of Bullet Sunday. Here is my first installment.

• FOOD ALLERGIES. Right now everyone (but me) in the house is pretty sick, and I am just in denial about my illness. Usually when someone in the house gets sick we go through the regime of soup, ginger ale, crackers, etc. which carries us through to better days. Now we had to go and have a son with extreme allergies. Wheat allergy - translates to no crackers and no noodles in chicken noodle soup. Milk Allergy - no crackers, no noodles, then add no cream soups. And the list goes on. This kid is hard enough to feed on a "normal day". Sick days are straight from where Satan dwells.
• PARENTING ADVICE. In the waiting room, of the hospital on Friday I was looking at a parenting magazine. In completely unscientific reporting style I cannot recall the name of the mag, but there was a subtitle on the cover about sleep deprivation which caught my eye so I picked it up to see if they had any nifty suggestions I hadn't thought of yet. One of the suggestions in the article was to walk up and down the stairs with the baby in the middle of the night because the motion might settle the baby. While I will be the first to admit I am NOT an expert on babies OR on sleep deprivation, I have experienced both and I do NOT recommend walking up and down stairs in the middle of the night carrying baby. DON'T DO IT. I think someone who made the suggestion was deprived of something more than sleep.
• ROOIBOS TEA. When I was growing up and living in Zimbabwe, my grandmother at tea time would make me rooibos tea and toast with vegemite or marmite. I grew up loving both and they are a comfort to me when I am ill. Living in Canada and the USA I would have to rely on visitors from Africa to bring Rooibos tea when they came. Visits were not frequent and I often ran out of tea before I could get more. In college I found an online import store where I could order Rooibos and I was over the moon. If anyone has been watching television lately, Rooibos tea is all of a sudden the BEST thing since sliced bread. Apparently it has all kinds of antioxidants and other things people find desirable in tea. Now you can find the stuff EVERYWHERE. It was even one of Oprah's favorite things in an edition of her monthly magazine. While I am very glad I can walk into any store and find some. I feel in a way as though something special has been robbed from me.